Slammer

Bandslam (2009) is another movie not really meant for us, but we liked it.

It stars Gaelan Connell as a chinless, bad-haired high-school freshman loser. He is obsessed with music, and writes an email to David Bowie every day (which is never answered). He has no friends.  His single mom, Lisa Kudrow, tells him they are moving to Connecticut, where maybe he won’t be bullied. But he suspects nothing will change.

However, on his first day he meets Vanessa Hudgens as Sa5m (the “5” is silent), a gothy depressive loner who will hang out with him, although she doesn’t do friends. Also, super-popular senior Aly Michalka corrals him into helping her with the daycare for kids of students. (The kids are like 5 years old, but the actors playing the students are around 30, so just roll with it.)

He also finds out that the school is obsessed with Bandslam, a state-wide (nation-wide?) battle of the bands. Their school’s entry is The Glory Dogs, fronted by Michalka’s ex. They are a pretty hot band, with a kind of up-tempo Springsteen sound, with an R&B horn section. I would expect Connell to be pretty psyched, but maybe they weren’t “alt” enough for him.

When Michalka tries to introduce him to the Velvet Underground (while “Femme Fatale” plays on the soundtrack), she discovers he is very well versed in rock. She takes him to check out here band, featuring bassist Bug (a Flea wannabe) (Charlie Saxton) and guitarist Omar (Tim Jo). They rip through a hot version of “Amphetamine”,  which Connell ruthlessly criticizes. So Michalka asks him to be their manager.

It turns out that they used to be Glory Dogs, but got thrown out because Michalka broke up with Scott Porter, their douchy lead singer. Connell’s image is to fatten their sound by corralling a classic pianist and cellist and finding the hottest drummer in school, a burnout played by Ryan Donawho. He only agrees to join because he thinks Connell’s mom is hot.

Through this all, Connell is painfully shy and awkward, but he’s trying.

The basic conflict, other than Connell’s struggle with loserdom, is that his friendship with hot, cool, caring Michalka is getting in the way of any romance with Hudgens. And why is a senior even acknowledging a loser like Connell? When we find out, it all comes apart, then back together. They go the Bandslam and (SPOILER) lose. But maybe the real Bandslam is the friends you made along the way.

Never mind all of that, how’s the music? As indicated, it’s pretty hot, although it definitely gets more indie-pop as it goes along. A third-wave ska version of a Bread song is featured, and there’s an “original”number that is pretty dire - especially from a kid who worships CBGB’s.

Also, how does a loser like Connell get two of the hottest girls in school latching onto him on his first day? I’m going to say, unreliable narrator. Let’s assume he is better looking and they are more average, and he is just seeing them, and himself through the eyes of teen angst. But how does he get to manage and arrange for a band when he doesn’t sing or play?

Never mind, it’s just a show. A pretty good one - not as good as, say, Booksmart but in the same league. If teen movies are mostly like this, we should watch more.