Gung Ho Fat Chance

I put Wolf Warrior (2015) on because it had Scott Adkins in it, and because I was sure Ms. Spenser wouldn't be interested. Turned out that I wasn't that interested either.

It starts "Somewhere in South-East Asia. A big fat bad guy is bing raided by a large, militarized police squad. But it turns out that it was a trap, and a larger, more militarized force of mercenaries led by Adkins wipes out the cops.

Next we go to an industiral site in China, near the border. Someone is bringing drugs across, and the Chinese police are coming in in force. It all goes well, until the leader takes a hostage. He is behind a reinforced wall, so there's no way for sniper Wu Jing to get him. He is ordered to stand down.  Instead, he shoots at exactly the same spot in the wall, drilling a hole and killing the bad guy. 

For this, he is given solitary confinement. But sexy Lt. Yu Nan recruits him to be a trainer for the elite corps of Wolf Warriors. He is flown to their camp hanging from a helicopter. At first, the landing site seems to be deserted, but he soon discovers that he is surrounded by riflemen, then armored personnel carriers, then tanks. We get it, they are hard-asses. 

It starts out as a training exercise, with Wu Jing's team being quickly reduced, but fighting on. They are attacked by actual wolves, and fight them off with their traing weapons, paintballs, smoke and bang grenades. Then Adkins shows up. 

All of this is pretty exciting - if you like military action. Personally, I prefer more punching then shooting. It's great that they get tanks and copters, machine guns and rocket launchers, along with gung-ho army pride. There are a few neat features, like the question of whether Wu Jing will follow orders, or break them to win. There are a few neat tricks, like Wu Jing determining that sniper Adkins needs 2.3 seconds to line up a shot, and zigs at exactly the right instant. 

But too much of this gets tedious. Then there's the waste of Adkins. He gets one or two fights, but only one with Wu Jing. This fight starts with machine guns, then devolves into pistols, knives and unarmed combat. It's a good fight, but kind of conventional. And one good fight in a two hour movie. 

I'll forgive the Chinese nationalism, the gun-happy action, but wasting good fighters - there I draw the line. 

Good Jackie Hunting

I couldn't remember whether City Hunter (1993) was my favorite Jackie Chan movie, or if I was thinking about another one. I watched it a long time ago. On rewatching, I think it is my favorite. It's certainly the wackiest. 

Jackie plays "City Hunter", a flashy, woman-chasing private eye in Tokyo. His assistant, played by Joey Wong, is a beautiful young woman who lusts after Jackie but he treats her like a little sister, In their first scene, Jackie is asleep, dreaming of being surrounded by girls in bikinis. Wong can't wake him up, and when she realizes what he's dreaming of, hits him with a giant cartoon hammer - and that's not the last giant cartoon hammer in this movie. 

Wong has a case for City Hunter: Find a rich man's daughter. Chan heads for a skateboard park, and finds her immediately, but she escapes on her board. Surprisingly, Chan the actor doesn't seem to skateboard very well. 

He chases her onto a cruise liner, and stows aboard. Meanwhile, his assistant, Wong, has booked the voyage as a romantic vacation with her boss, but Chan turned her down. So she's going with her geeky cousin. Also, the police are on board. And finally, a terrorist, Richard Norton is onbaord with a small army and a plan to hold all the rich passengers for ransom. 

And mayhem ensues. But Chan just wants something to eat, and to chase girls. 

This movie was based on a popular Japanese manga, and it shows. It is over the top goofy, with playing a cartoonish slick-dressing woman-chasing PI. It's also got some great action, including a Street Fighter video game inspired fight. 

But I'm still not sure this is my favorite Jackie Chan movie. The movie I remember had arcade style fighting, but with fighting on top of the cabinets. There was an attack in a dining salon, but I remembered it differently. Is it just my fuzzy memory, or is there another even better movie I haven't seen in a while? I guess I'll have to keep watching and re-watching, and I don't mind a bit. 

Mortality

I wasn't expecting much from Mortal Kombat II (2026). I was sure it would at least entertain. But I had forgotten that Karl Urban starred.

It starts with Shao Kahn (Martin Ford) attacking the planet Edenia and defeating King Jerrod (not of Subway) in kombat. So he becomes the ruler, and takes the princess Kitana as his daughter. So basically the start of Masters of the Universe plus Thanos/Gamora. 

On Earth, we get to see Johnny Cage (Karl Urban) dominating a kick-ass fight scene. His signature move is to put on his sunglasses, stick up a middle finger and use it to push up the glasses. But it turns out it'a. movie, being shown at a con. Cage is an aging acting star, just trying to treat his fans well and go home. In the garage, he is confronted by Lord Raiden (Tadanobu Asano) and Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee), telling him that he has been chosen for the big Tournament - and if their team loses, Earth will be owned by Shao Kahn. He figures they are cosplayers, and tries to brush them off. So they transport him to Raiden's temple. 

Meanwhile, Shao Kahn's necromancer has resurrected Kung Lao (Max Huang) and that Aussie asshole  Kano (Josh Lawson). He corrupts Kung Lao's heart, but Kano has none, so - "Loophole!" But he's pretty corrupt already.

Cage gets meets the rest of the Earth team, and hears the story, and still wants out. He's an actor, not a real fighter. He doesn't even have any powers. But when it's time for a match, he gets teleported into the arena, and has to fight - and win or die.

The movie is one part action, one part comedy, one part Mortal Kombat lore. I only know as much lore as you pick up through osmosis ("Finish him!") and the last movie, which I barely remember. The action is great, but I really liked Urban's comic turn. He's another one of Ms. Spenser's favorites, along with Sanada-san, also in this movie. So she wasn't planning to watch, but got sucked in. 

All in all, a fine addition to the fun, silly action-fantasy genre. 

Quoth the Raven

More B+W horror for Deathoween! The Ghoul (1933) stars Boris Karloff, but just barely. For the setup, we see a stealthy Egyptian (notablew for the rug over his shoulder) confront an absinthe-drinking archeologist about a rare amulet he stole from a grave. But he has sold it to rich archeologist and grave robber Boris Karloff.

Karloff, now on his deathbed, demands that he be buried with the amulet in his hand, wrapped in bandages. He claims it will give him eternal life. But if anyone removes itm he'll come back to life and murder everyone! Of course, as soon as he dies, his man-servant Ernest Thesiger steals it. Cedric Hardwicke, the lawyer handling his affairs is acting rather shady, too.  

There are two heirs, distant cousins whose families have always been feuding. They descend on the mansion to protect their inheritance. Of course, she brings her man-hungry. roommate as chaperone. We also run into the Egyptian sheik that she falls for, his baleful bodyguard, a sheriff and a parson. And then Karloff rises from the grave and starts killing people. 

The main problem with this movie is that there is so little Karloff. When he is on his killing spree, he is silent and mostly in shadow. The other characters are OK, but aside from roommate (Kathleeen Harrison) and sheik (Harold Huth), not very memorable. It all ends suddenly, with nothing really wrapped up except the cousins get together snd live happily ever after. Still, fun and worth a watch.

The Black Raven (1943) is hardly horror - it's really a gangster pic. It's a dark and stormy night. George Zucco runs the Black Raven in, up near the Canadian border. Which is handy, because his sideline seems to be running criminals across said border. Glenn Strange plays his dim-witted handyman, always forced out into the rain to park guests' cars. 

His first customer is a criminal who signs the register "John Smith". He wants help crossing the border, but also seems to have a grudge against Zucco. The next is a gangster who is being set u as a scapegoat by the powerful political syndicate. He also signs "J. Smith".

A meek R.-Crumb-looking character, Byron Folger, is headed for Canada, but turned back because the bridge is washed out. He shows up at Zucco's place, with a case that he keeps close at all times, and also signs as Smith. Then there's a couple who want to get married, but her father, head of the syndicate mentioned above, is preventing. So they are headed to Canada, but are forced to stop at the Raven. Then said father, turns up. Then he turns up dead.

In a lot of ways, this is an old dark house movie without the ghosts. Like in The Ghoul, there's a crowd of people, all stuck in one place. But really, the best parts are Zucco, as a friendly gangster, and Glenn Strange, without makeup, as the handyman. I suspect the role was written for a Mantan Morland type - black, ignorant and scared. Color blind casting? 

Not the greatest batch, but fun and short, The seasonal marathon continues!

The Late Ghosts

Due to life stuff, we're getting a late start on Ghostober. I felt like watching some light b&w horror, so I let Prime video make some suggestions. 

First up, The Ghost and the Guest (1943). James Dunn and Florence Rice have just gotten married. Dunn has a California honeymoon planned, but Rice has other ideas. She cancels the trip and plans to take her husband to the house in the country that her father has bought them. Dunn isn't pleased, but what can he do. As his black servant Sam McDaniel (Hattie's brother) says about being stric t with your wife, "That's what I always says I do, but it isn't what I always does."

The house turns out to be a rundown mansion that had been owned by a notorious murderer, and is now owned by Robert Dudley, the hangmen who's last job was that same murderer. He's a kindly old coot, whose habit of playing with nooses unnerves McDaniel. He has some great and gruesome line about fixing the murderer's stiff neck - he never complained about it afterwards.

A coffin is delivered from the penitentiary - It's the murderer. Dudley wanted to give him a nice burial. Then some of his "relatives" show up - actually a bunch of crooks looking for a stash of loot. And nobody notices someone slip out of the coffin and into a secret passageway. I can't remember why the police show up, but they do. A fine honeymoon. 

This was written by Mory Amsterdam, and has a few good gags, mostly involving hanging. Mory's wife, Mabel Todd, plays a man-hungry blonde. I'm sorry to say that nobody else really stands out, but if you like silly movies with gangsters, hidden passages and spooky houses, this will be up your alley.

The Ghost Train (1941) is a British film. It starts on a train. Arthur Askey pulled the emergency brake because he lost his hat. As a result, the train misses a connection, and a small load of passengers are stuck in a small railroad station. It's pouring rain, there's no phone and the nearest inn in miles away. The station master doesn't want them there, and warns them about the unused track out back. If they see the ghost train, don't look - those who do, wind up dead. 

The station master then leaves for the night, and comes back dead, with a knife in his back. 

As for the rest, it's not very exciting. There's a glamorous woman driven mad by the train and her somewhat sinister brother, some train-board romances, etc. Mostly, though, there's Arthur Askey. He was a British musichall, radio and movie personality. His specialty seems to be skipping around like a ninny and singing silly songs - and being annoying. It's an acquired taste. We have not acquired it. 

Sunshine and Lollipops

How come I haven't seen Danny Boyle's Sunshine (2007) util now? I guess it's been a little hard to see - rarely on streaming, no physical release (except an early, defective Blu Ray). Still, meditative/horror SF, with a stacked cast, when I noticed it on Prime Video, I jumped pm it. When Ms. Spenser noticed that Hiroyuki Sanada was in it, she was sold.

It starts with a voice over explaining the set up: The sun is dying. The plan is to drop an A bomb the size of Manhattan and restart it. The first mission, the Icarus, failed for umknown reasons. This is the story of Icarus II. 

The Icarus has been heading for the sun for a few years. Mission physicist Cillian Murphy is sending a message home, before comms become impossible due to the proximity to the sun. Ship's doctor Cliff Curtis is obsessed with the sun, sitting in the observation chamber, watching the sun filtered down to 2%. At 3%, he would be blind in seconds. For him, it is a mystical, purifying experience. 

Chris Evans (post-Johnny Storm, pre-Captain America) is the engineer. We meet him fighting with Murphy for taking too long sending his message home. Rose Byrne, the pilot, and Michelle Yeoh, the biologist, call the captain to break up the fight, reporting an "excess of manliness". Captain Hiroyuki Sanada rebukes Evans, and tells him to get a haircut. Meanwhile, Benedict Wong, the navigator, is making stirfry in the galley with Troy Garity, the comms officer. It's your basic blue-collar spaceship crew, just hanging out.

As they pass Mercury, they catch a faint distress signal from the Icarus I. They have just enough fuel and oxygen to get there, but it would be safer to stick to the original mission. On the other hand, having a second bomb might come in handy. Captain Sanada wants Murphy as the physicist to make the decision. Very reluctantly, he decides to head to Icarus.

Wong changes their course, but unforgivably forgets to angle the sunshield, and now someone has to go out and manually reposition it. And people start dying. 

The Icarus II turns out to be derelict, everything covered in dust ("90% of all dust is dead human skin"). There is a degraded, insane message from captain Mark Strong - exposure to the sun's cleansing light has driven him mad, and probably killed him. But will they be able to get back to Icarus II and continue the mission?

The first two acts are sort of standard SF. The first act is somewhat meditative, like, for ex, Solaris (either version) with some Alien. The second leans towards space disaster, with systems and people breaking down. The last act becomes horror, like Event Horizon. I won't go into a lot of the obvious influences and parallels (the crew dynamics of Alien, for ex). But I do want to mention something that Ms. Spenser noticed: The captain of the Icarus I is named Pinbacker - a callback to Dark Star's Pinback? 

I'm not a super fan of Danny Boyle, but he does great work. The cast of this is insanely stacked, the acting great. The writing is on point - the characters are fallible humans, but completely focused on the mission. Even if they don't like Murphy, for ex, he's the physicist, and they prioritize his safety. And when Michelle Yeoh is looking at the oxygen margins, she refers to some of the deaths by saying, "we're two breathers down." Cold, but practical. 

Glad I got to this. Maybe I'll try rewatching Solaris.

Summer Time

I mentioned that I am a Robert Heinlein fan. I was surprised to find that there was a movie version of one  of my childhood favorites, The Door into Summer (2021). And it was made in Japan.

It stars Kento Yamazaki as a young robotics engineer. He works obsessively at a big drawing board at home, often in the company of his pet cat, Pete, and his high-school aged step-sister, Kaya Kiyohara. He has designed an advanced autonomous robot that his small company is almost ready to go into production. Note that this takes place in 1985 - the past for the filmmakers, but the future for Heinlein.

He is visited by his fiancee, Natsuna, the office manager at the company. She is bitchy and controlling, and jealous of Kiyohara. And she has some paperwork, which transfers some of Yamazaki's stock in the company to her. I'm sure that won't be a problem.

The next day in the office, Kiyohara's partner, who runs the business side of the company, calls a shareholder meeting: that's him, Kiyohara and now Natsuna. Him and Natsuna immediately vote to fire Kiyohara and sell the company, robot and all. Kiyohara is stunned - he rushes to his lab to find all of his notes and prototypes gone. He's been screwed iout of his job and his inventions. 

So he gets drunk, and decides to go into cold sleep for thirty years. In this futuristic 1985, that is an option. He arranges for a sleep cradle for him self and Pete, but is rejected because he's drunk. He'll need to come back sober. But when he sobers up, be decidesto fight instead of run away. 

When he confronts Natsuna and his partner, they drug him and put him into cold sleep, using the paperwork already set up - using a sleazier company, who don't mind taking an unconscious customer. So he wakes up in 2025. He's broke - his investments went south. He is lost, with no friends, no cat, and no way to get in touch with his step sister.

To help ease his transition to the modern world, he is gived a robot companion for five days. This robot, named PETE, played by Naohito Fujiki, is very human, to the point that he seems to be malfunctioning, with humor, whims and sarcasm. 

So, even with his robot friend, he is still stuck in a future he doesn't know. But he thinks about his cat Pete. Pete didn't like snow, and would refuse to go out in the winter. Instead, he would meow at every door in the house, hoping that one would be the door into summer (based on Heinlein's actual cat). So Kiyohara starts looking for the door into summer - and finds it (SPOILER - time travel). 

This is a sweet, fun movie. Our hero is good and virtuous, the villains evil, and his revenge is sweet. The cat actor who plays Pete is appropriately scornful, but could have used a few battlescars. The retro-futuristic way they handled tech is good, especially when we get to 2025 where everyone has a smart phone, and maybe also a robot.

Also, their are plenty of nice, friendly people in the movie. For instance, in 2025, Kiyohara meets the CEO of a robot company who had met him in 1985 as a child, and considered him an idol. So he doesn't need to do everything alone (or with only a possibly malfunctioning robot).

The romance between Kiyohara and his step sister is tricky - it's clear that she is in love with him, but he doesn't seem to have any evil intentions towards her. In the end, due to cold sleep and time travel, they end up the same age, so they can get together - if you don't mind the spoiler.

I have only one minor quibble: In the book, our hero makes a new fortune by designing a robot drafting table. So Heinlein anticipated CAD, but on paper, not on screens. In the movie, Kiyohara is always behind a drafting boatd, but never automates it. I guess you can't put everything into a movie.