Thursday, December 28, 2017

Whoreson Welles

Chimes at Midnight (1965) seems like a good movie to ring out 2017 on. It is Orson Welles’ take on Falstaff,  combining a bunch of Shakespeare’s History plays. It appears to have been made on a shoestring, with Spanish hills masquerading as England, and a bare stone cathedral standing in for a castle - but beautiful.

Basically, the rascal Falstaff entertains Prince Hal, along with a disreputable crew at Mistress Quickly’s (Margaret Rutherford) tavern. When Hal’s father, John Gielgud, dies, Hal repudiates Falstaff. He dies and is mourned by his low companions, including the prostitute Dolly Tearsheet (Jeanne Moreau - not very English). In between there is a great battle scene, filmed with the most minimal number of extras and horses, but made great by skillful editing.

The whole thing is all tied together with a great condensation of Shakespeare’s writing. HOWEVER, and this is the movie’s fatal flaw, the sound recording is a bit muddy (probably recorded on location). It has a nice “presence” and atmosphere, but you can’t always hear the lines. Of course, it can be challenging to understand Shakespeare with modern ears, but this doesn’t help.

What I did understand were some of the great insults from the play. In particular, Falstaff is called “whoreson” any number of times. I can only assume that Welles understood it as a pun on his name.

King Sunny Saves the Day

The latest film quiz had a question about O.C. and Stiggs (1985), and we hadn’t seen it yet. Now we have, but we’re still not sure about it. The easiest explanation is that it is an 80s teen comedy directed by Robert Altman.

O.C. And Stiggs are two high school boys who are dedicating their summer to annoying their Phoenix neighbors. They break into his yard when he (Paul Dooley) gathers his family around the TV to watch the commercial for his insurance company. They call up the president of Gabon to rack up his phone bill, and because they like his name, President Bongo. They then precede to tell him the story of their summer.

They start by building the ugliest, most annoying monster truck they can devise. Then they crash a wedding - the daughter of their enemy, the insurance guy, is marrying an Asian stereotype, Victor Ho. There, Stiggs meets and begins to woo bookish Cynthia Nixon (whose boyfriend is insurance guy’s son, Jon Cryer - so maybe this is part of the plan?). They also float down to Mexico to see a King Sunny Ade concert, and invite him back to Phoenix, and...

There is a lot of other stuff, most of it random. Some of it is funny, but the fatal flaw is probably that the two kids are so obnoxious that it’s hard to root for them. They are loud, rude, future frat jerks. At least they love King Sunny.

I’ve left out a bunch of great bits, like:
  • Jane Curtin as insurance guys drunk wife
  • Ray Walston as O.C.’s Gramps, full of inappropriate stories
  • Dennis Hopper as a Vietnam vet, who grows pot and supplies the kids with weapons and air support
  • Martin Mull as the swinging next door neighbor with the tiki themed backyard
There’s a lot of Altman onscreen - sometimes Stiggs even sounds a little like Donald Sutherland from MASH - mostly in his cadences. Altman’s story is that this was supposed to be a parody of a stupid teen comedy, not but I’m not sure I see it.

In conclusion, at least King Sunny got a payday.

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Great Atomic Power

Atomic Blonde (2017) has a lot of problems - its plot, for example. I still thought  it was a lot of fun.

It is set in Berlin, just before the wall comes down. We see an English spy being killed by a Russian agent, who takes his MacGuffin. Cut to “ten days later” - Charlize Theron is being aggressively debriefed by MI6’s Toby Jones and CIA John Goodman. Most of the movie will be played out in flashback.

Theron arrives in Berlin, and is picked up - by what turns out the be East Germans. She beats everyone up and meets her actual handler, James MacAvoy. He drives too fast and trades American booze for info, but he’s no Willy Garvin. Him and Theron are at odds right away.

But the scene where Theron tends her wounds after the first fight is what makes the movie great to me. She strips down and drops face first into a tub of ice cubes to bring the swelling down. Her body is beautifully muscled, even beyond the hard use it’s been put to.

Then there’s the house fight set piece. It’s a ten minute plus scene that seems to be shot in a single take. You see Theron give and take athletic beatings, roll down stairs, etc. and then see her face so you know that it wasn’t a stuntperson. BUT - 1. It’s faked, with at least 40 cuts hidden by camera whip takes and CGI. Theron didn’t do her own stunts. 2. It kind of comes out of nowhere - it’s the only long take (real or fake) in the movie.

Still, Theron is great in this, muscular and kickass. Sofia Boutella (The Mummy) shows up as a naive French agent who has an unnecessary but agreeable love scene with Theron. I think part of the idea of this movie was that all of the agents were unprofessional and emotional, not calculated geniuses. But it didn’t really come through, and also, it turns out that some were pretty clever.

In conclusion, the soundtrack of mostly 80s electro-pop was fun, but not really outstanding. Mostly just the hits.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Snow Red

Lady Snowblood (1973) is a classic revenge movie. I don’t think it was the first one, but it looks really modern.

It starts in a Tokyo women’s prison. A prisoner is giving birth and dying. As she dies, she asks her baby to get revenge for her. She and her husband and young son come to a town to teach school, and the crooks in town kill them and rape her. She goes to a monk for martial arts training and he declares that she must be no longer a woman, but a demon of revenge. However, she is arrested after she kills the first of her tormentors. So now her daughter must take over.

The style includes some over-the-top lighting and stylized violence - sprays of blood in the snow. There are other tricks, like introducing the list of Lady Snowblood’s targets in wanted poster style. No surprise that Quentin Tarantino stole a ton of it for Kill Bill.

For example, he used the theme song, which is an incongruously bouncy jazz-pop number. It shows up at odd times and suddenly cuts out to silence. It’s an odd effect, but it works.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Burn Down the Fillmore

Fillmore: The Last Days (1971) sounds cool, but it's kind of a dud. It's about Bill Graham closing down his San Francisco rock palace, the Fillmore, and semi-retiring from show biz. It includes several numbers from top SF bands and a lot of behind the scenes nonsense.

The problems: The behind the scenes nonsense is either boring or annoying. Graham could be quite a dick - maybe because people are dicks to him. One band is begging for a slot to play the last week, and Graham won't put him on. The guy from the band finally says, "Fuck you and thanks for the memories," and Bill goes off on him. C'mon, Bill, he meant that in a nice way.

Then the musical acts. They aren't that scintillating either. Maybe it's because it's all greatest hits, with no room to stretch out. We get Hot Fucking Tuna with Papa John Creach on fiddle, and it's kind of OK. Jefferson Airplane. Grateful Dead, Santana, all kind of "eh". It was fun to hear Lydia Pence and Cold Sweat - a blues shouter like Janis Joplin with a hot horn section.

About the only act I really enjoyed was Quicksilver Messenger Service - because "Fresh Air" is always hot.

Graham did tell a good story about Elvin Bishhop. Bishop's mom came to a show, and wanted Bill to tell him she was in the audience. He kind of forgot and only told him when he was going up the stairs to get on stage. Bishop panicked and said, "Tell her I'm not here!"

Monday, December 18, 2017

Towering Darkness

The Dark Tower (2017) was something we were looking forward to, but almost entirely to see Idris Elba being bad-ass. We got what we wanted.

I understand that the mythology of the Dark Tower series of stories by Stephen King is long and complicated, and some of that comes through here. But it's mostly pretty simple. Tom Taylor is a kid with problems. He has nightmares and draws pictures of his visions - a man in black, a gunslinger, a dark tower. Also, when he gets upset, earthquakes hit New York. His mother and evil step-father want to send him to an institution, but the people who come to pick him up are monsters from his nightmares, and he bolts.

He finds a way into another world and meets the Gunslinger there: Idris Elba. He is fighting against the Matthew McConaughey, evil Man in Black (not the good one, Johnny Cash), who has a cool super-power - people do whatever he tells them, including "stop breathing". Only Elba is immune. MiB wants Taylor so that he can harness his brainpower to destroy the Tower, which holds up the mulitverse (or something).

There are touches of humor and horror here, but a lot of it is pretty standard action/fantasy. It's done quite well - it's a joy to see Elba reload his six-shooter by spinning the cylinder and thumbing the bullets in as fast as it spins. We were entertained. But not much more. I guess we would have either liked it better or hated it entirely if we had read some of the books. Guess we'll never know.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

First Time Out

I can't believe we hadn't seen Drunken Angel (1948) until now. It was Kurosawa's first film with Toshiro Mifune - and one of Mifune's best performances. And he isn't even the star.

The star, the titular angel, is Takashi Shimura (Seven Samurai), an outspoken, hard-drinking doctor. His office is in a poor neighborhood, centered around a stinking open sewer that the kids like to play in.

He meets Mifune when he comes in with a wound from a fight with some other gangsters. He is rough with Mifune, disgusted with his bravado, telling him he doesn't need a painkiller, because gangsters are supposed to be able to take it. But he notices that Mifune has a bad cough, and tells him he should get an X-ray, to check for tuberculosis.

There is a bit of cat-and-mouse between doctor and gangster, with gangster refusing to get checked, and the doctor accusing him of being a coward. He finally caves when a young girl the doctor has been treating shows up to report on her good progress - Mifune has to be at least as brave and strong as a schoolgirl. But the gangster lifestyle will make it hard for him to heal.

Through this all, Mifune is amazing - feral, cat-like, dressed in gaudy Western clothes. His expressions, from smile to sneer to grimace, reminded me a lot of Humphrey Bogart, to the point where I wonder if it was deliberate. We also get to see him cutting a rug with a taxi dancer, and he looks good. Shimura is also great, and I at least loved seeing his classic headrub.

Kurosawa also adds more than a touch of stylization to the direction. There is a guitar player who strums a little tune by the side of the sewer, and some of the characters move in rhythm with it, a subliminal dance.

Now, one of my favorite Kurosawa's.


Saturday, December 16, 2017

Cool Breeze

Keanu (2016) is a silly Key and Peele movie - not deep or scary like Peele's Get Out.

It starts with a couple of scuzzy characters taking out a drug operation (scuzzy characters played by Key and Peele in heavy makeup and wigs). The entire operation is taken out, except their kittie, who escapes - and is taken in by Jordan Peele.

Peele is a bit of a loser, who is watching bad TV and smoking dope because his girlfriend left him. But this kitten that he names Keanu, changes his life and lifts his spirits. After a wild night out with his strait-laced friend (a Liam Neeson movie), he comes home and finds his apartment trashed and his kitten stolen.

A visit to his wigger pot dealer next door (Will Forte) gives them the idea that a local bad actor, played by Method Man, may have been responsible. Peele is determined to do whatever it takes, brave any danger, to get Keanu back. So they go to Meth's club and act as gangster as possible.

The trope of milquetoasts acting tough is not an original one (it wasn't when Bob Hope did, either - who knows how old it is?). But their take is fun. They have to make deliveries of the new drug Holy Shit to get back Keanu - remember Holy Fucking Shit from 21 Jump Street? Any way, this winds up in a hilarious segment involving a drug party where they kill Anna Faris, as herself. And as Peele is falling for cute gang-banger Tiffany Haddish, Key is using his team-building training to help the rest of the gang communicate (and love George Michael).

In conclusion, I couldn't help but think of Keegan-Michael Key as an un-buff Dwayne Johnson, with his bullet head and mild mannered speaking style, while Jordan Peele seemed to be played by Craig Charles (Lister from Red Dwarf). Shows that I need to watch more Key and Peele.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Friendly Neighborhood

Well, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) was a surprise - a Spider-Man movie that we liked! The Sam Raimi trilogy was probably good (I didn't even mind the last one more than usual), but I just never liked Spidey as a character, so they weren't really my thing. The Andrew Garfield duology was a bit of a fizzle, although I liked him in the first, not so much in the second. I'm glad we kept trying.

It starts with some "found footage": some cellphone movies Spider-Man (Tom Holland) took when Tony Stark and Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau) took him for the big melee at the end of Capt. America: Civil War. Then, it's over, and he's back in high school. He tells some people that he was interning for Tony Stark, which is cool, but they never call again. He's bugging Happy every day, leaving pathetic voice mails, but they think he's just a kid (and they are kind of busy). So he hangs out with his chubby friend (Jacob Batalon) and sighs over cute fellow debater, Zendaya.

Meanwhile, Michael Keaton and his team have the contract to clean up the alien trash left over from the Event, when the government comes in and puts him out of a job. So he keeps a little here and there, and gets ahold of a little more, and starts building alien tech weapons.

Spidey notices something is up when some punks in Avengers masks use one the weapons to push over an ATM across the street from his favorite bodega. He doesn't have Stark's high-tech suit, so he makes due with PJs and a ski mask, more or less. Then his buddy Batalon finds his secret identity.

So there's a cute mix of superhero action and John-Hughes-style high school drama (seriously - the cast watched a bunch of Hughes to get in the mood). But mostly, it's just fun. This seems to be one of the things that Marvel has been getting right - not just the quips and the webslinging, but an overall sense of joy and exhilaration.

Lots of fun little things in the movie, like the recorded messages from Captain America the kids have to watch in school. When the (black) gym teacher turns it on he mutters, "Whatever. He's probably a war criminal now or something." This all pays off after the credits in a way that is totally worth waiting for. And waiting...

Semi-SPOILER: the capper in the last act is when Peter Parker picks up Zendaya to take her to the Prom, and her dad is Michael Keaton. So it's that uncomfortable kid-meets-date's-father thing, and the father is a super-villian who immediately figures out your secret identity. I won't say Keaton is the only actor who could pull this off, but he sure pulls it off.

In conclusion - no origin story for this Spidey!

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Just the Blues, Ma'am

Pete Kelly's Blues (1955) isn't quite what I expected. I am a lover of old-time radio, so I've heard Jack Webb's radio show of the same name. I was expecting something black and white and gritty. It was actually pretty colorful, and kind of romantic. But, because Webb is an old jazz-head, there are some pretty happening numbers.

It takes place in Prohibition era Kansas City. Webb plays cornet and is band leader with a hot little combo. When gangster Edmond O'Brien wants 20%, Webb tries to hold out. It works for a while, but the drummer gets shot and clarinetist Lee Marvin quits the band - he saw enough killing in Europe.

So now Webb is working for O'Brien. He is also being aggressively courted by Janet Leigh, a rich party girl who he snubs in his deadpan, monotone Jack Webb way. But now O'Brien wants to put his girlfriend in the show, Peggy Lee playing a drunk chantoosy. So we've got Leigh and Lee, dueling platinum blondes in this movie.

Meanwhile, Police Officer Andy Devine wants Webb to help get evidence to put away O'Brien. Maybe Ella Fitzgerald, who runs the gin joint on the colored side of town can help out, or at least sing a few numbers (Hard-Hearted Hannah and the title song).

The movie is full of Webb's colorful patter - like saying that an amputee "ran out of legs". It's got a lot of hot jazz, although it could have more. There's not as much tough stuff as you might think, though, as Webb just wants to get along and play. Also, the color palette and sets (no locations, of course) make this seem like a more prestigious movie than the crime B-movie we were expecting.

All in all, I think I like his early radio show, Pat Novak for Hire, better.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Strange Movie

The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears (2014) is an odd, abstract giallo. If you don't know what that is, it is an Italian genre from the 70s-80s of stylized crime films. They feature sexualized violence, lurid colors, and usually knife murderers or stranglers wearing black gloves. They have odd titles, like "Five Flies in a Dead Doll's Eye" (I might have made that up).  Strangely, we watched this after seeing exactly zero gialli.

Business man Klaus Tange comes home from a trip to his Belgian apartment, and finds his wife, Edwige, is gone. He does the obvious thing, and gets drunk, then calls the police, then keeps drinkin. He starts pounding on the neighbors' doors in the middle of the night, pissing everyone off. Then the old lady on the top floor invites him in and shows him a flashback about how her husband disappeared.

One night when they were making love, he heard a noise in the ceiling. When he climbed up to investigate, he found there was a lot of space in the walls, left over from when they cut the house into apartments. He reported back to his wife that he could see the neighbors doing ... things. And he was never seen again.

I guess. It was all kind of vague and elliptical. Another neighbor is a sexpot; she tells him confusing stories and they have sex while covered in broken glass. I had to look away for that. There's a lot of blood in this movie, and our hero wears a bloody shirt when interviewed by the police about his missing wife. "I cut myself."

There are little pieces of plot and narrative in the first half or so, but they get pretty tenuous, and by the end, they are abandoned entirely (SPOILER). What this is really about is mood and style. The apartment is old Belgian art nouveau or de Stijl building, looking very chic and a little ominous. The music is borrowed from old gialli, with a Morricone feel. Some sections are in black and white or silent. And it gets weird.

So if you are interested in seeing wild, weird imagery and/or are interested in an abstract giallo, give this a watch. If you want a plot, not so much.

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Don't Make Me Do It Without My Fez On

After the classic mummy fest recently, I felt like we should watch The Mummy (2017), the one with Tom Cruise. Let's just say that I did not break out my fez for this one.

It starts with Cruise and buddy Jake Johnson as soldiers banging around Iraq, looking for antiquities to loot - in an Tomb Raider/Indiana Jones way. When an airstrike uncovers an ancient tomb, archaeologist Annabelle Wallis comes in to take over, and they extract the mummy (from Iraq - not Egypt. Because reasons). On the flight home, over England, the plane starts to go down (due to swarm of bats?). Cruise gives Wallis the last parachute and augers in.

And he somehow survives. It seems that he is the beloved of the mummy, played by Sofia Boutella (Kingsmen, Star Trek Beyond), and she is going to possess and/or sacrifice him.

But Cruise and friends have an ally, in the secret monster-fighting organization run by Dr. Henry Jekyll (Russell Crowe). Let me just say, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen did it better. Heck, Van Helsing did it better.

There's some nonsense with the Knights Templar. Also, Jake Johnson is now a ghost, used mainly for comic relief. And there is essentially no Egypt in this movie, no tanna leaves, hardly any mummy for that matter.

My recommendation, skip this and listen to Frank Conniff, Trace Beaulieu, and Carolina Hidalgo  cap on it in their Movie Sign with the Mads podcast.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Love that Witch

I learned about The Love Witch (2016) listening to a Projection Booth podcast where director Anna Biller was interviewed. Since I hadn't watched yet (and was driving through some unknown highways), I didn't get much out of it, but it sounded cool. For one thing, Biller didn't just direct - she also wrote, art directed, and sewed most of the wardrobe herself.

It stars Samantha Robinson in the title role. She is leaving LA to go hang in Arcata CA. Since her husband died ("and everyone thinks she killed him" is left to your imagination), she needs to get away. She has a friend in Arcata who rents her a room in a charming Victorian, decorated with mystical paintings. Her friend's friend takes her to a ladies' tea room, all frills and lace. You see, Robinson is a witch.

She performs a spell and meets an English professor, full of Kerouacian cool. They go to his place in the hills, she slips him some drugs, they fool around, he freaks and dies. So sad. She sets her sights on the realtors husband, a decent, righteous man. He kills himself when she gets tired of him. A macho police detective starts investigating her. She takes him to a Ren-Faire-like coven gathering in the woods, where her Wiccan friends hand-fast them. The scene reminds me of the nude grape-stomping scene in Seconds, and the detective is hooked, just like Hudson was. It doesn't work out much better for him.

This movie was made in the style of a 60s-70s technicolor thriller, full of bright colors. The costumes Biller designed are full of polyesters and day-glo paisleys, and Robinson wears the heavy eye makeup and piled up hair of the period - but it isn't a period piece. People drive modern cars and have cell phones. So it's a retro feel. It was even shot on 35-mm negative film.

But it is the story that is so unnerving. Robinson is a femme fatale, a black widow, but she only wants a man to pamper and fulfill. So she's in some ways anti-feminist. But her female-centric earth religion empowers her - she wants to pamper and fulfill a man so she can control him and bend him to her will.

Now, I have Wiccan friends. I have been to a hand-fasting. In some ways, this movie seemed like, not blasphemy, but religious bigotry. The Wiccans in Arcata have friends in high places, are feared by the townspeople. And they look pretty goofy, especially the male side of the leading couple, a chubby bearded fellow with a slimy leer. You can tell why he practices sex magic. Suppose these were Jews, not witches.

But, hey, they aren't Jews, and witches I've known have a pretty good sense of humor (although still a little sore about the Burning Times). The rituals can be pretty goofy. And no one can deny Biller sense of style.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Ashes to Ashes

Just a quick note on our TV viewing. We don't just use Netflix to watch movies - we use it to watch TV series, generally one a day over dinner. Sometimes we don't wait until they are streaming. If it is good enough, we go for the disc. Like Ash vs. Evil Dead (2015).

If you aren't familiar with the movies, the first Evil Dead was a low budget horror movie, directed by Sam Raimi and starring Bruce Campbell. Evil Dead II was pretty much a straight remake, and Evil Dead: Army of Darkness takes Campbell to the past. They get goofier as the the series progresses, with over-the-top gore. Also, Campbell loses a hand and replaces it with a chainsaw. The last movie has Campbell back at his job as stock boy, but ready to fight evil if the need arises.

The TV series starts 30 years later, with Campbell still a stock boy. He lives a sleazy life in an Airstream trailer (like in My Name is Bruce). When it looks like Evil is back, he teams up with co-workers Ray Santiago and Dana DeLorenzo to fight it. Lucy Lawless also appears to be working either with or against.

As you might expect from a movie where the hero replaces his hand with a chainsaw, this is a really gory series. We sometimes regretted watching during dinner. There's also a bit of nudity, some quite disturbing, like the corpse with the pierced penis. See, Campbell gets his head stuck in the corpse's butthole and has to wear it for a mask... Never mind, you've got to watch it. But only if you aren't squeamish.

It also has a great soundtrack, by our friend from Leverage, Joe LoDuca. He uses a bunch of 70s hard rock - even if you don't watch this series (it's pretty gross and stupid), check out the playlist on Spotify.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Devil and Son House

Even though it's after Thanksgiving, I'm still catching up on the Halloween horror. We had a nice run one weekend, starting with The Devil Commands (1941).

TDC is an almost perfect mad scientist movie. It stars Boris Karloff as the absent minded professor who has invented a way to record brainwaves. He demonstrates on his wife Shirley Ward. It is a sweet scene, as she bustles in to remind him they are picking up their daughter at the train for her birthday. They have the easy, loving feel of a long-term couple. However, before they can pick up their daughter, the wife is killed in traffic.

Now, Karloff becomes withdrawn. His daughter, Amanda Duff, can't get him out of the laboratory, where he works with his assistant Cy Schindell, a janitor or handyman (but not a hunchback). However, an experiment goes wrong, and Schindell's brain is damaged and - YES! - he develops a hunchback! So we have a mad scientist, his beautiful daughter, and a hunchbacked assistant. A phony psychic, Anne Revere, completes the team, as they try to use science to contact the spirit of Karloff's wife.

There's even grave robbing, a creepy old house, and a seance of space-suited corpses. Karloff is magnetic throughout - his love for his wife cutting through everything.

Son of Dracula/House of Dracula (1943/1945) are a nice pair. Son is directed by B-movie master Robert Siodmak, written by his brother Curt. It takes place in Louisiana, probably near where the mummy Kharis was last seen. Louise Allbritton is hosting a party at her father's mansion, where she hopes Count Alucard, who she met in Europe, will appear. He doesn't, but her father turns up dead - and then the count shows up. Her boyfriend, Robert Paige, doesn't like this at all. He goes a bit nuts and shoots the count several times, with Allbritton standing behind him. What really freaks Paige out is that the bullets pass through Alucard, killing Allbritton.

Paige is locked up for the murder, but Allbritton appears in his cell as a bat and tells him to kill Alucard, who we all know is Dracula. Then Allbritton will bite Paige and they will become immortal together.

There's a lot to like about this entry in the Universal Monsterverse. The bayou setting with the touch of voodoo, Allbritton's morbid gothiness, the shooting scene, even the bat transformation. One problem, though - Alucard/Dracula is played by Lon Chaney, Jr. This gives him all four monsters (Wolfman, Frankenstein's monster, Mummy, Dracula), but he is not a great Dracula. He has a brutal look and Midwestern accent, not the suave European at all.

House, on the other hand, is very different. First, Dracula is played by John Carradine, suitably suave and sinister. Second, the story is all over the map, with three big monsters. Dr. Onslow Stevens is practicing mad medicine in a castle in Europe, with a beautiful assistant and a hunchback - no beatiful daughter, but the hunchback is a woman, Jane Adams. Carradine shows up, looking for a cure, and the doc gets to work. Then Lon Chaney, Jr. shows up, looking for a cure for lycanthropy, only to be told to come back later. When he tries to kill himself, he winds up in a cave where Frankenstein's monster (Glenn Strange) has been stuck since House of Frankenstein. This is all a big muddle, but it does have a mad scientist plus beautiful assistant and female hunchback.

In conclusion, all mad scientists should have a beautiful daughter as well as a hunchbacked assistant. It's just the way it works.

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Mr. Blobby

The Blob (1958) kind of surprised me. For a B-movie, it had a lot more gloss than I expected.

It starts with Steve McQueen (in his first feature) parking with Aneta Coursault. He comes across as a sensitive teen delinquent (although he looks at least as old as his actual 28 years). They see a meteor land and go to look at it, but it has already been found by old codger Howlin' Olin Howland. When they find him, it has already blobbed onto his arm, so they race him to the doctor's.

We meet Dr. Stephen Chase just as he's leaving town for a convention. He sends the nurse home, locks up and is almost gone when the kids bring in old Howland. Pretty soon, the blob has eaten him completely, along with the doctor. The kids go to get the police, but when they get back, there's no sign of the blob. One of the cops thinks the whole thing is a prank, but the other thinks McQueen is a good kid. Still, with no proof, there's nothing they can do.

So our young couple gather up a posse of other teens from the midnight horror movie show. This is a cute bit of meta - even in 1958, horror B-movies are a thing. It's also a little pointless, because they don't actually find the monster. But the monster finds the midnight movie.

I did not know this movie was in color. I think that made it look a lot less cheap then good old black 'n' white. Also, the goofy surf-cha-cha-cha theme song (co-written by Burt Bacharach!) made me realize that this movie was a little more self-aware than I expected, if not exactly a parody. I liked the whole "the adults don't believe the kids, because the evidence keeps getting eaten" story, especially when the monster shows up and all the adults have to buy in.

In conclusion, Howland's dog survives. I know it's a spoiler, but I don't want anyone to stress.