The Hood

For a while now, every movie about Robin Hood had been bad, and Robin Hood (2018) is no exception. So why did we watch it? Basically, I saw the trailer and a guy was jumping up in the air and firing four arrows before he came down. Sign me up.

The movie starts with Maid Marian (Eve Hewson) trying to steal a horse from Locksley (Taron Edgerton). I guess she’s supposed to be Roma or something, by her dark skin, horse-thieving ways, and revealing décolletage (“Well-made” Marian, indeed). Soon, they are happily romping about, until Robin gets his draft notice.

A literal parchment that says “Draft Notice”.

Now we cut to the Crusades, in a scene modeled after modern Afghanistan/Iraq battlefield. Robin cuts off the hand of Saracen Jamie Foxx, then saves his life. He has a complicated infidel name, so they just call him “John”.

When Robin gets back from the wars, he finds his manor pillaged by the Sheriff of Nottingham, and himself officially dead. He finds Marian, with a new lover. And he spots Jamie Foxx. The two get together in fight the Sheriff, with Foxx showing Robin the way of the recurved composite bow. There’s a great training montage here.

I’ll skip the rest of the plot except to say:

• Nottingham has an industrial slum full of starving miners
• There is no King John in this story
• Also, no archery contest
• They don’t get to Sherwood Forest until the end, setting up the never-to-be-made sequel

The overall idea is summed up by the costume design: The direction was 1/3 period, 1/3 modern, 1/3 futuristic. This carries over into the sets and plot. The very conscious and unsubtle introduction of modern themes (Mideast war, electoral politics, industrial poverty, church corruption) is an idea that could work, but doesn’t. Likewise, the action scenes are well done, but never really satisfying. Still, I have to say I kind of liked it. Like I said, guys shooting arrows while jumping in the air. I think the actors were trained by that stunt archer from YouTube, Lars Andersen.

I guess my favorite part was Friar Tuck, played by Tim Minchin, a musical comic and prominent atheist. He also does the narration.