Mega-fauna for Mega-Fans

Speaking of movies we knew were going to be bad going in: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018). Actually, it’s possible that this isn’t a bad movie. It’s just that we are over it.

When we last left the J-World, the last remaining dinos were left on Isla Rebar to die a natural death. When the island’s volcano shows signs of becoming active, Professor Jeff Goldblum testifies before some committee that they should be allowed to once more go extinct. Bryce Dallas Howard, however, wants to save them. She is no longer the high-fashion business exec from Jurassic World - now she’s a bleeding heart counterculture Dino lover. So James Cromwell, playing the other tycoon involved in Dino cloning, offers to send her with a team to bring back the livestock. She, of course, recruits Chris Pratt, although their love affair from the last movie has cooled off a bit. They add Justice Smith as hacker and cute paleovet Danielle Pineda to the team. Also, a squad of mercenaries led by creepy Ted Levine.

I’ll skip through most of the island stuff except to ensure you that Levine does betray the good guys and reveal that the real purpose of the expedition is to bring some dinos back to be sold as weapons.

Our heroes make it back to America, hiding with the T. Rex. There, they find out about the arms auction run by Toby Jones in Cromwell’s mansion by his assistant Rafe Spall and B.D. Wong. They are aided by Cromwell’s little grand-daughter (or is she?), Isabella Sermon.

It’s kind of interesting that the last half at the mansion plays more like an Old Dark House story than Dino adventure. But not interesting enough for us. This movie is full of neat set pieces - the death of the last brachiosaurus has a very Disney look, for ex. I bet it was a swipe from Fantasia. It’s cool that so much animatronics was used, with subtle CGI work for the eyes, for ex. And the dinos are very cute, as is the little kid. The bad guys are suitably evil, and so forth. But I just got the feeling this wasn’t for me. It’s for the mega-fans. That’s great, but it’s not us.