Fall of the Roman Movie

I picked up The Last Legion (2007) thinking it was either Centurion or The Eagle. I can never remember those titles. If it wasn't, I figured it was sort of based on the same Lost Legion story. It kind of is, but mostly not. Oh well, at least Ben Kingsley is in it.

It starts by telling the myth of a famous sword, forged in Britain, to be wielded by the ruler of the Roman Empire. Then we go to Rome, and meet Thomas Brodie-Sangster, a little Roman street kid, who sneaks into General Colin Firth's tent ot check out his sword. He is caught and is about to get his hand chopped off, when Ben Kingsley shows up, does a little kung fu, and takes him back to the palace. You see, he is actually the young Caesar, about to be crowned that day.

But these are the last days of the Roman Empire, and the Goths, led by Peter Mullan, take the city. They kill Brodie-Sangster's parents and are about to kill him, when Kingsley convinces them that he will be more useful as a hostage than as a martyr. He also uses some gobbledegook about omens and curses. So the kid and Kingley sent to prison on Capri. 

But Colin Firth and a few of his legionnaires are still alive, and are on the trail. With the help of a mysterious Eastern warrior, they set him free. But where can they go? The Eastern Empire has made a deal with the Goths, all Gaul and Germania are in their power, and only the famous 9th Legion in northern England is still loyal to Rome. So off they go.

But when they get to Hadrian's Wall, they find a desolate ruin. A nearby town has nothing but British farmers - or so it seems. Some are legionnaires who have married and gone native. After all, the empire deserted them. It's a good life, but they are threatened by a local warlord called Vortgyrn. This time, will they prevail?

On paper, this sounds fine - a kid's adventure, with lots of derring-do, great actors, and exotic locales. Sadly, it is not. Although there is a lot of action, it is all completely bloodless, to stay kid friendly, I guess. Kingsley's mystical character is hobbled by having him spout all kinds of pseudo-spiritual nonsense, sometimes in extended monologues. Nobody gets much characterization, except to be super evil or noble. The mysterious Eastern warrior I mentioned turns out to be a beautiful Indian woman trained in a martial art that doesn't exist. 

There was one instance of humor that I enjoyed - Firth is ready to fight off a three or four Goths, then four or five more show up, and he's still game. When a dozen more join the fight, he does this "Oh, for the love of..." expression that got a chuckle out of me. 

The end (SPOILER - Kinglsey is Merlin. The sword is Excaliber. Brodie-Sangster is Arthur's grandfather) is not bad. I liked the fall of Rome setting. Some kids might like this. I didn't.