Road (Space) House

We knew we'd watch it sooner or later, so we put on the new Road House (2024).

This one stars Jake Gyllenhaal as the new Rick Dalton. We meet him at an underground fight scene where the champion forfeits the fight as soon as he finds out who he is. We don't know why, but Jake is totally jacked, so we go with it. In the parking lot, Jessica Williams approaches him about a job as bouncer for her house. He turns her down, but later decides not to kill himself. So he has nothing better to do...

He takes a bus down to the Florida Keys, Glass Key in particular, for you Hammett fans. At a little strip mall, he meets a young black woman who runs a bookstore with her father, dedicated to the lore of the Keys. It's next door to the Double Deuces Diner for you fans of the original Road House. Williams' place is just down the road. 

It's pretty nice for a dive bar - a long A-frame, very tropical. Williams explains that things have gotten a little rowdy, and they just need someone for a few weeks to calm things down. The current bouncer is a nice beachboy type, who just needs a some mentoring. Some bikers come in and start making trouble, so Gyllenhaal goes to earn his pay. He gets them out in the parking lot, makes sure there's a hospital nearby, and checks to see if they all have insurance and good dental plans. Then creams them all.

And drives them to the hospital. He even warns them when there's a bump coming so they can brace their broken bones. The doctor who checks them in is Daniela Melchior, and she isn't too impressed by the mayhem he caused. But you don't have to have seen the original to know where they will end up. 

There's a few more fights, and a bad guy is eaten by a gator, before we find out that the bad guys are trying to put Williams out of business. They decide to bring the real muscle, a man who brings chaos where ever he goes: former UFC Scotsman Conor McGregor. We're introduced to him wandering through a Mexican marketplace buck naked, demolishing everything in his path. He grabs some clothes and heads to Florida.

Even though Gyllenhaal is pretty buff, this guy is built like a brick leprechaun. The last act is going to be these two going up against each other. 

This is pretty fun, if you like fighty movies. Directed by big action director Doug Liman, it does what it's supposed to do. I feel like it doesn't have the same cheesy goodness that the original had, but I suppose we'll see how we feel about that in a few years. Gyllenhaal looks great, and has an interesting way of staring off into the distance with one side of his mouth quirked up. Thinking about the futility of violence and fragility of life, I guess. He looks a bit like Ryan Gosling, or acts like him or something. 

In conclusion, the bands playing the Road House weren't bad, some R&B, gospel, reggae, and a few zydeco numbers by Rockin' Dopsie. But they're no Jeff Healey.