Morbin', Morbin', Morbin'

 We finally got on the Morb Bus, and streamed Morbius (2022). It was partly so we could listen to the podcast takedowns, but mostly because I watch comic book movies - all of them.

It starts with a helicopter landing on a remote mountain, and Jared Leto as Dr. Morbius hobbling to a cae entrance. He has a rare blood disease that makes him weak and weedy, and needs to study vampire bats to find a cure. As he cuts his palm to get some blood-bait, a swarm of bats fly out of the cage - and we go back 25 years.

At a small hospital in Greece, a young Morbius meets a young Milo - played by Matt Smith later in the movie. These kids bond over their disease. Morbius even saves Milo's life by jury-rigging a fix for his medical gizmo. This established Morbius as a genius, and kindly doctor Jared Harris sends him to America to study medicine.

Back in the present, we see Leto getting the Nobel prize for inventing artificial blue blood. What we don't see, but are told about, is that he told them to fuck off, for some reason - maybe he's just a maverick. We do see him working with his lab assistant/romantic interest (?) Adria Arjona. We also get to meet Milo, now a grown-up Matt Smith, who is a rich, dissolute cynic, still crippled by his disease, now with Harris as his personal physician/ineffective conscience. Milo agrees to help fund Morbius' research, which is illegal and unethical, so it will be done on a Russian freighter outside the 12-mile limit. 

He takes the cure just as the crew decides to come down to the lab and maybe get rapey with Arjona. So it's a good thing that it works, but maybe it works too well. It gives him super-strength, speed, an ugly bat-nosed face, and a thirst for blood. 

Now Morbius is on the run. He can subsist on blue blood for a while, but it loses effectiveness. But he meets with Smith, who realizes that he is cured and wants a little himself. When Leto won't give it to him, but also won't explain the drawbacks, he steals a dose. So now Smith is another vampire, but not so ethical. 

So there you go. On the surface, this isn't a terrible movie. It's got some problems - for instance, there are too many scenes that happen off camera. Maybe they want the viewer to fill in the gaps, but why do they leave out so many fun scenes? Maybe because the action scenes aren't actually that great. Morbius zooms around leaving a trail of purple powder that may just be "trails", or nanobots (?) or just particle-based CGI. Another issue may be Leto's low-affect performance. This worked for Benedict Cumberbatch in the Dr. Strange movies,  but Leto may not have the charisma to pull it off.

But I've got to say, I didn't hate this! It's not my fave, but down around the lesser Hulk movies. Maybe above Wolverine: Origins. But what to I know? I like the Fantastic Four/Silver Surfer movies.