Silent Cage

We aren't really Nic Cage fans. We appreciate his commitment to weirdness, but it isn't always our thing. So I don't really know why I queued up Willy's Wonderland (2021).

It starts with Cage getting a flat on a lonely country road. A voluble tow truck driver comes by and picks him up. Cage responds to his questions with a silent pained look - which is all you get from him this entire movie.

Since he doesn't have cash to pay for the repairs, the tow truck driver offers to let him clean up Willy's Wonderland overnight. Willy's Wonderland is a kiddy's restaurant with animatronic characters from an obscure TV show - a sort of local Chuck E. Cheese. But when kids started to go missing, it closed and fell into disrepair. But with a little clean up, they might re-open.

So the driver and a local business man lock Cage in the restaurant, and share some conspiratorial comments. Cage puts a six-pack of energy drink in the fridge, sets an alarm on his watch, and starts cleaning.

Meanwhile we meet Emily Tosta, the teenaged ward of Beth Grant, the crusty old sheriff. Tosta and a group of her friends, including a slut and her jock boyfriend, a puppy-dog good guy, and another guy, are all dedicated to destroying Willy's Wonderland, which they believe is evil, and responsible for the death of many young people. We never doubted it.

It turns out that the townspeople are propitiating the spirits in the animatronics by bringing them sacrifices. Oh, you figured that out already? Right. 

While he is cleaning, Cage is attacked by one of the animatronics - and he crushes it, kills it with his mop. Then his alarm goes off, so he takes a 15-minute break, drinks an energy drink, sets the alarm again, and gets back to work.

Tosta and crew are ready to burn down the place, but she insists on going in to warn Cage. They all wind up inside, and of course, start dying. When they find Cage and warn him, he gives them that silent pained look and goes back to cleaning. He only stops to kill a doll when it attacks, or to take his breaks when the alarm goes off. Even if it's in the middle of an attack. 

It's a pretty funny movie, as far as the action goes. The kids are pretty 2D, except Tosta and her friend Caylee Cowen, a tart with smarts. The animatronics kills are accompanied by "cute" songs which are pretty forgettable, for which I guess I'm thankful. 

And through it all, Cage never speaks, or, I think, changes expression. Honestly it's a good look on him.