You know, Ms. Spenser (I can't get used to calling her Dr.) says that I am evil and love making her watch terrible movies. But I like musicals, and I wanted to see Hugh Jackman sing and dance, so I queued up The Greatest Showman (2017).
It stars Jackman as P.T. Barnum, as he rises from orphaned tailor's apprentice to the greatest showman, by empowering/exploiting freaks. We were about 3-4 songs in when Ms. Spenser asked me again "Why do you hate me so much?" and my evil laughter rang hollow. Because as much as I was torturing her, I was only torturing myself. Because, aside from anything else you can say about this movie, the songs are TERRIBLE.
I don't know what this genre of music is called - it seems rooted on Broadway, but has just a touch of hip-hop and modern pop. It is everything I despise about Katy Perry, and Les Miz, and America's Got Talent, and Disney musicals not involving Lin Manuel Miranda, and I don't know what all, because I avoid it whenever I can. So I came to my senses, and we turned it off. The first movie we didn't watch all the way through since we started Netflix, I think.
Instead, we put on our new disk of Streets of Fire, the Walter Hill rock dystopia, starring Michael Pare (Eddie and the Cruisers) as the guy who comes to town because his ex-girl friend, rock singer Diane Lane, has been kidnapped by Willem Dafoe - wearing yellow rubber waders and wielding a sledgehammer. We also have Rick Moranis as the obnoxious agent who thinks he is Lane's boyfriend, and singer Amy Madigan as a soldier of fortune who just needed a job.
I had remembered Streets of Fire as kind of a misfire - also really confusing. It seems to be set in the 1950s or maybe the dystopian future, where it's always raining and nighttime. But this time through it seemed pretty straightforward. Also, I had remembered there being music, but I hadn't remembered how great it was - Ry Cooder doing the score, the Blasters doing 2 numbers on stage, and a fictional doo-wop group doing the hit, "I Can Dream About You." Ok, Michael Pare isn't that great a hero, but I can live with that.
So, about The Greatest Disappointment - it didn't seem like a bad movie. I felt something for Keala Settle, the bearded lady, who has a song about acceptance for freaks. But I just can't take that style of music. Also, the dancing was crap, mostly just wandering around. If you like it, I apologize. But mostly I apologize to Ms. Spenser, and hope she someday forgives me.
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