All You Need Is Love

We wanted to like The Love Guru, and honestly, we didn't hate it. I won't lie to you though. It wasn't good.

Mike Meyers is Guru Pitka, a Canadian orphan raised (along with Deepak Chopra) by Guru Tugginmypudha (Ben Kingsley). If you think the funny Indian name gag is lame, the movie's best material is wasted on you.

Pitka becomes a wealthy and influential Love Guru, but he himself can't love - because his guru locked him in a chastity belt until he can learn to love himself. If you think this message is lame, um, you're right.

Still, there are plenty of silly body process jokes, including elephant sex. Stupid names, like Dick Pants and Punch Cherkof. Dopey self-help tags, like "BIBLE = Book of Instructions Before Leaving Earth" to which Pitka always adds "TM!" The best one, in our opinion is Pitka's universal greeting "Mariska Hargitay". We're going to use that one.

Unfortunately, no one will get it, because no one watched this, and if they did, they will pretend they didn't.

Now, I heard Mike Meyers on the radio, talking about the death of his beloved father. Austin Powers, for instance, was a gift to his dad, who loved James Bond and all the swinging 60s spies. After Mr. Meyers died, Mike was very dejected, and started reading works of spiritual self-help, like, possibly, Deepak Chopra. He didn't really seem to take them seriously, except that they did help. The message of love, self-love, love of others helped him grieve his father.

So, if you were wondering where this movie came from, that's the story I heard. Laugh at it if you want. That might be all you're laughing at.