Hit Me One More Time

I remembered liking the remake (?), so I thought I'd give the original a shot: Hitman (2007). This version have Timothy Olyphant as Agent 47.

The agents are children, possibly genetically modified, raised to be assassins, with a barcode tattooed on the back of the neck. Olyphant gets an assignment to kill the Russian president Ulrich Thomsen, and to do it with a splash - he prefers to make it look like an accident. He completes the mission, but his superiors tell him that Thomsen survived, and also that a bystander, Olga Kurylenko, knows too much and must be killed.

But when he meets her, he can tell she had never seen him before. Then, someone tries to kill him, and he realizes that he has been set up. Kurylenko lets him know that Thomsen uses a body double. It turns out that the double ordered the hit on the real Thomsen, so he could take his place.

So Olyphant and Kurylenko go on the run, from both Thomsen and from the law.

As an action movie, this was fine - the action was about standard. It didn't feel quite as cool as I expected, although well-dressed bald assassins are always worth a few points. The best part was seeing logical, emotionless killing machine Agent 47 finding himself feeling for Kurlyenko. He is human after all. 

But I think I like the 2015 version better. I don't know if the director, Xavier Gens, wasn't up to it, or if I liked Rupert Friend better as Agent 47. Maybe it just had a better budget.

Fall of the Roman Movie

I picked up The Last Legion (2007) thinking it was either Centurion or The Eagle. I can never remember those titles. If it wasn't, I figured it was sort of based on the same Lost Legion story. It kind of is, but mostly not. Oh well, at least Ben Kingsley is in it.

It starts by telling the myth of a famous sword, forged in Britain, to be wielded by the ruler of the Roman Empire. Then we go to Rome, and meet Thomas Brodie-Sangster, a little Roman street kid, who sneaks into General Colin Firth's tent ot check out his sword. He is caught and is about to get his hand chopped off, when Ben Kingsley shows up, does a little kung fu, and takes him back to the palace. You see, he is actually the young Caesar, about to be crowned that day.

But these are the last days of the Roman Empire, and the Goths, led by Peter Mullan, take the city. They kill Brodie-Sangster's parents and are about to kill him, when Kingsley convinces them that he will be more useful as a hostage than as a martyr. He also uses some gobbledegook about omens and curses. So the kid and Kingley sent to prison on Capri. 

But Colin Firth and a few of his legionnaires are still alive, and are on the trail. With the help of a mysterious Eastern warrior, they set him free. But where can they go? The Eastern Empire has made a deal with the Goths, all Gaul and Germania are in their power, and only the famous 9th Legion in northern England is still loyal to Rome. So off they go.

But when they get to Hadrian's Wall, they find a desolate ruin. A nearby town has nothing but British farmers - or so it seems. Some are legionnaires who have married and gone native. After all, the empire deserted them. It's a good life, but they are threatened by a local warlord called Vortgyrn. This time, will they prevail?

On paper, this sounds fine - a kid's adventure, with lots of derring-do, great actors, and exotic locales. Sadly, it is not. Although there is a lot of action, it is all completely bloodless, to stay kid friendly, I guess. Kingsley's mystical character is hobbled by having him spout all kinds of pseudo-spiritual nonsense, sometimes in extended monologues. Nobody gets much characterization, except to be super evil or noble. The mysterious Eastern warrior I mentioned turns out to be a beautiful Indian woman trained in a martial art that doesn't exist. 

There was one instance of humor that I enjoyed - Firth is ready to fight off a three or four Goths, then four or five more show up, and he's still game. When a dozen more join the fight, he does this "Oh, for the love of..." expression that got a chuckle out of me. 

The end (SPOILER - Kinglsey is Merlin. The sword is Excaliber. Brodie-Sangster is Arthur's grandfather) is not bad. I liked the fall of Rome setting. Some kids might like this. I didn't.

Nuts in Mayhem

I picked Mayhem (2017) up on the strength of it's category, Comedy-Horror, and its stars, Stephen Yuen and Samara Weaving. Good choice.

It opens with Yuen explaining the setup: a new virus has become pandemic. It causes a loss of all inhibitions, making people act out their every urg, including lust and anger. It turns at least one eye red, hence its nickname, Red-eye. It doesn't kill you, but someone else might. 

Yuen is a young idelaistic partner at a prestigious law firm. When they are defending a man who killed someone in the grip of the virus, he finds the loophole that leads to a ruling of diminished capacity: Someone with red-eye can't be held responsible, even for murder. So he's become a big man in the firm.

He has a meeting with Samara Weaving, representing a group of home owners being foreclosed on. Yuen basically blows her off and has security escort her out. But it turns out he has bigger problems. 

It seems there was a mistake made on the Vanda Corp account, and he is being set up to take the fall. It was probably Caroline Chikezie, known as the Siren for whispering poisonous rumors to the higher-ups. They take it to the lead partner, and long story short, Yuen is fired. The HR goon known as the Reaper comes to deliver the news and has him escorted out.

But right about now, red-eye has been detected in the air system of the building. The building is put on complete quarantine. They are trapped - and also infected. That's one of the fun parts of this movie. I had guessed that it was one of those zombie movies, where our protagonists are the only ones who aren't infected. Nope - they've got it too. And they both want revenge. And until the quarantine is lifted, they have legal immunity to do it. 

And so begins their fight to ascend to the top level, protected by key card elevators and corporate goons. They arm themselves from a tool cage. Weaving looks particularly fetching weilding a nailgun. This all plays out with pandemonium in the background - people throwing folders in the air, copulating freely, fighting or just taking a nap. And of course, our protagonists are no more sane than the rest, just a bit more calculating. 

This was a fun gore-fest with quite a bit of social satire mixed in. I liked the fact that Yuen and Weaving were as affected as everyone else. Made for a little cute humor. We've seen one other movie by director Joe Lynch, Suitable Flesh. We liked the humor in this more.

Cat Fever

I probably saw Cat Ballou (1965) once or twice as a kid, but it was Ms. Spenser who clued me into how awesome it was - because of the Greek chorus of Stubby Kaye and Nat "King" Cole.

It starts with these two banjo players waiting for Cat Ballou (Jane Fonda) to be hanged, and telling her story in ballad style. Her story starts when she gets out of school, trained as a teacher. She got on a train to go see her dad in Wyoming, when she meets a convict (Michael Callan) being taken to prison and a drunk preacher. The preacher turns out to be the uncle of Callan, (Dwayne Hickman) and he helps him get free of his guard. Callan takes refuge in Fonda's sleeper bunk. She is too kind to scream, but he does take liberties - oh, well, he's soon out the window and gone from her life forever.

Fonda gets home and finds her father (John Marley) as cantankerous as ever. But his ranch is threatened by the developers of Wolf City. His only ally is an Indian, Tom Nardini, who he considers Jewish, as the Indians were the lost tribe of Israel. Soon the outlaws show up and are enlisted to resist the developers - until a gunslinger with a silver nose (Lee Marvin) shows up. Now, they're ready to face the law.

But Nardini suggests that they hire a gunslinger of their own. Based on the Western dime novels they read, they hire Kid Shaleen (also Lee Marvin). He shows up a drunken bum, barely able to hold his gun. But a big gulp of booze sets him right, and he's a dead shot. It lasts about 10 minutes before he's too drunk to function, as Callan says, "I've never seen a man get through a day so fast."

Sadly, he is sleeping it off when Fonda's dad is shot from afar. So Fonda does the only sensible. She takes her "gang" and starts robbing trains. 

This is a fun little comedy Western. Fonda is spunky and a little sexy - all the men are clearly in love with her, although only Callan courts her openly. In fact, Nardini quietly leaves, gently letting her know that as an Indian, he needs to stay away from her. It's also just a little darker than expected, with a few deaths taken seriously. I wonder if Fonda gets the drop in the last scene?

Kicking the Gong

Of course I've seen Stephen Chao's Shaolin Soccer (2001). But I guess I've never blogged it, so here goes. I got the urge to see it again, and got it from Hoopla.

It starts with Team Evil soccer star Ng Man-Tat throwing a game. The fans break his Golden Leg and his boss, Patrick Tse, refuses to pay him off. So he becomes a drunk. Many years later he comes across Stephen Chow, a Shaolin practitioner who wants to teach people to use kung fu for everyday living. But no one's interested and he's a ragged bum. Ng sees the power of his legs, and falls in with his plan. 

Zhao Wei is a young woman who uses her kung fu to make steamed buns. When Chow sees her, he is impressed (and steals some buns). He calls her beautiful, although she has terrible acne. She takes his worn-out ratty shoes as payment for the buns.

Now, Chow needs a team. He manages to convince his brothers, also kung fu experts in a variety of specialities, to join as well - there is an open entry tournament with a cash prize that seals the deadl. So they begin playing a demo game, and get clobbered, until they remember that they are Shaolin. Then they destroy the opposing team.

Also, Wei gets herself fancied up for Chow, but he liked her better before. She gets fired around her. But that may help her get her skin cleared up.

In fact, they go all the way to the finals - vs. Ng's old nemesis, Team Evil. It's a dirty game, and their goalie is taken out. They are about to forfeit, when Wei appears, with clear skin and a shaved head, ready to play.

This synopsis is sort of beside the point. The point is amazing stunts of kung fu integrated into soccer and other daily pursuits. The movie is often surreal - costumes might change arbitrarily, characters might comment on the movie they're in, and so on. That's not even to mention the impossible wire-fu/CGI-fu involved. 

It's also funny as heck. Maybe his best, edging out Kung Fu Hustle. 

Chan the Man

I went to another library book sale to pick out some cheap DVDs, including The Black Camel (1931), a Warner Oland Charlie Chan movie.

The movie is set in Honolulu, and at least partly filmed there. Movie star Dorothy Revier is making a movie, but seems distraught. She gets her psychic adviser, Bela Lugosi, to come and help her out. Her friend Sally Eilers is worried that Lugosi isn't a good influence. 

Oland as Chan enters undercover as a Chinese merchant, asking to see Lugosi. But Lugosi sees through the act, and Oland tells him that he is investigating the death of an actor a few years earlier. And then Revier is found murdered, and Eilers is acting pretty suspicious, especially since her boyfriend found the body.

I've seen a few Charlie Chans, and most have been stinkers. This one was much better. The location shooting is plain to see, not just because Diamond Head is in the background. It looked like there would even be a hula scene, but sadly, we only see some schoolgirls watching something that isn't shown. The comic relief wasn't Number One Son, but a police assistant (Otto Yamaoka?). His bit is to run in with a piece of irrelevant evidence, usually when Chan is in the middle of figuring something out. Oland tells him to go find something else, and he rushes off. It's a pretty good gag.

Lugosi is good here, as a suave psychic, and -- SPOILER -- and not the villain! All in all, very worth watching. 

Luc Besson's Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula

Did you know that Luc Besson made a Dracula (2025) movie last year? Us neither. But I was willing to give it a shot. based on that alone.

Dracula is played by Caleb Landry Jones. The movie starts with Jones going to war against the Ottomans, ordering his priest to tell God to protect his beloved Zoe Bleu. When he returns and finds Bleu dead, he kills the priest, renouces God, and so becomes a vampire. That's all it took.

He will use his immortality to search for the reincarnation of Bleu. Wasn't that the Mummy's deal, not Dracula? He develops a special cologne that women can't resist, so that will help with the search.

Much later, Jonathan Harker (Ewens Abid) visits Castle Dracula about a land deal. Jones is now in extreme old age makeup, with a wig very similar to the one Oldman wore in Coppola' Dracula. He sees a locket with a portrait of Harker's intended, Mina, and realizes that she is the one he has been seeking, Zoe Bleu come back to life. 

So he has his CGI gargoyles hold him prisoner and sets off the Paris for find her. A little blood, and he's looking like a young dandy again, and is soon courting Bleu and trying to get her to rmember her past life.

But Abid has gotten free of the gargoyles and found Father Christoph Waltz, vampire hunter. Not van Helsing, though. He was Jewish, Walz is Catholic. But will they be able to save Bleu?

This is a good looking but odd movie. The gargoyles, the perfume, the non-van-Helsing, and so many other details that don't quite belong. But other details seem to come from other movies, to the extent that I wondered if there were elements of parody in Besson's plan. 

But I think the main impetus for this movie was to allow Caleb Landry Jones to go wild, with multiple make-up and acting styles. We haven't seen him in much (X-Men: First Class), but he seems to be fun to watch. The rest of the movie is luxurious and lovely, but that might be more of the Coppola homage. 

Not a great Dracula, but not bad. I can see how Nosferatu overshadowed it. 

Downfall of the Goofer Dust Man

I've known about Scott Joplin as a brilliant composer of ragtine since at least The Sting. I may even have known that he composed an opera in 1910. But I just found out that Treemonisha (1982) was staged and recorded, and is available on Archive.org. So I queued it up.

This is the story of an educated black girl in a small Southern town in the late 19th century. It starts with a conjure man named Zodzetrick is trying to sell a bag of luck to Treemonisha's mother Monisha, who is a bit susceptible. But her husband Ned shoos him off, telling him that they don't believe in superstiition. Treemonisha arrives to give Zodzetrick a lecture on dnagers of superstition. 

The Pastor Alltalk comes and preaches to the people - and while he has them distracted, Zodzetrick kidnaps Treemonisha. They plan to throw her into a giant wasp nest, for the crime of opposing their conjure scam. 

But her boyfriend Cletus uses a scarecrow to dress as a demon, and rescues her. The third act is a big celebration, with Treemonisha pleading for the conjure conmen to be treated with mercy and released. Zodzetrick promises never to reform - but he does get out fast. 

Now, this isn't a "ragtime opera". It is mostly an opera in the classic European tradition, with some touches of ragtime, spirituals, cakewalks, etc (a little too early for blues). I loved the music in general - more than most operas, I would say.  But I should also note that the version I watched did not have subtitles. I can't understand "operese" very well, so I didn't get all the plot. But I did hear Zotzetrick refer to himself as "The goofer dust man, king of goofer dust land!"

But I did get the dancing. This production, by the Houston Grand Opera, was great, with some very impressive dancing, including a second act "ballet". 

So, a fun musical evening. Sadly, Joplin never saw a staged production, and his self-staged read-through with piano accompaniment lost him money. So glad we have this record. 

Master Class

I have never watched a He-Man or She-Ra cartoon, nor have I seen the Dolph Lundgren movie, But I do like big dumb action movies, so I figured I'd give Masters of the Universe (2026) a shot. 

It starts on the planet Eternia, a perfect land of beauty and heroes presided over by Castle Greyskull. Prince Adam is being trained by Duncan (Idris Elba) and his daughter Teela. He is young, small, unserious and not a good fencer. His father, King Rando, is ashamed. Then Skeletor and his army attack. 

Duncan, the king's Man-at-Arms, promises to hold the castle, but fails. At the last moment, the little prince is given the magic sword and tossed into a portal to Earth. On his way down, he loses the sword.

When we next meet him, he is a young adult played by Nicholas Galitzine. He is on a first date, telling the girl about his past, the story above. She leaves in a hurry. He works in HR, but spends too much time searching for the lost sword. He finally finds it the hands of a heroic statue in a comic book store. When he grabs it and says the magic words - nothing. The store wants it back, so he absconds with it.

But it looks like a signal gets sent to Eternia, because Galitzine is attacked by a beast man, and is in big trouble until grown up Teela (Camila Mendes) shows up to help, and takes him back to Eternia. But Eternia, under Skeletor's rule, is a burnt out dystopia. And Galitzine and Mendes are thrown in a dungeon.

In the same cell are a drunken wreck who turns out to be Idris Elba, and a robot janitor, voiced by Kristen Wiig. Galitzine recognizes her as a decommisioned war robot, and gets her to break them free. They meet up with the remaining loyal heroes. Galitzine remembers them from his childhood, but only by the silly nicknames he's given them: Fisto, Ram-Man, etc. It takes them a while to accept these, but I think it's cultural. After all, the enemy os named Skeletor and has a skull for a face, and his lieutenant is named Evil-Lynn (Alison Brie).

When they go up against Skeletor, Galitzine finds that he can call on the sword to become incredibly strong and buff. But he also wants to use the Earth skills he learned in HR: teamwork, communication, inclusivity. This is mostly just played for laughs. 

In fact, the general tone of the movie is silly. It's not all for laughs, but they definitely aren't taking any of this seriously. Sometimes it's characters striking a heroic pose and nothing happens - don't you hate that? A lot of it is making fun of the source material, like Galitzine telling people on Earth that he's a prince of Eternia, and having them think he's crazy. Or everyone hating their very basic nicknames. 

And I should mention the elephant in the room - Skeletor is played by box-office poison Jared Leto. And he isn't bad. His face is covered, which is a plus, and he reads his lines in a sort of greasy mid-Atlantic accent, sort of Vincent Price style. He's a good one for making villainous monologues and getting deflated. He met the assignment. 

In fact, most of the movie does. It doesn't do as much with Eternia as it might, but there are some backgrounds. I thought the humor and action were good, but not excellent. I'll compare this the recent D&D movie. Same idea, not as good. 

Dirty Dozen Minus One

11 Rebels (2024) is an interesting new addition to the samurai genre. Condemned criminals must hold a fort in exchange for pardons, in a Japanese civil war.

It starts with peasant Takayuki Yamada running home to find that his sister has been raped by a samurai. He finds the samurai with a buddy, drunk and pissing in the canal. So he kills him. He is quickly taken prisoner. 

Then we go behind the scenes. The local Mizoguchi clan is deciding whether to side with the old Shogun or the new Imperial Army. They plan to defect to the Imperials, but will need to hold one particular run-down fort to pull this off. They gather up ten condemned prisoners and offer them a deal: Defend the fort and be granted freedom. But if any one of them defects or deserts, they all will be killed. 

The group sets out under the leadership of two samurai. Some of them are killers, like a monster called "Cut-em-up". Some are gamblers and con artists. One is mentally deficient. It starts quiet, but they are soon besieged - by the Imperial Army, who they are supposed to support. 

At least I think that's what happens. Between the Mizoguchis, the Shogunate and the New Imperials, it gets a little confusing. Clan crests help a little, but just a little. I'm afraid I might have gotten some of the ten mixed up, too. Only a few had what I felt were strong characterizations. But that might just be me. 

The action was pretty strong, with a a decent amount of grit. Since the theme of this war was modernization, we see fights using firearms and cannon as well as swords. Also, the dummy turns out to be a fireworks expert, so they get to use some explosives. 

As a kind of Dirty Dozen pastiche, it didn't strike me as strong as it could have been. As a straight action movie, pretty enjoyable. 

White Jazz

King of Jazz (1930) is about Paul Whiteman, a man about as white as you can get. His music is also pretty white. It's not what we would call jazz - unless we are Guy Lombardo. But it was extremely popular, maybe number one in the US until Benny Goodman. This movie documents the peak of his power.

I won't talk about the plot - there isn't one. There is a cartoon, some numbers with his orchestra, some blackout skits, some small groups, Whiteman's rendition of Rhapsody in Blue, and so on. The musical numbers range from the sappy to - well, to Rhapsody, about as jazzy as it gets. There were also huge sets, camera tricks like double exposures, and the genial, avuncular and rotund band leader himself. 

One of the acts was the Rhythm Boys, with Bing Crosby, although only as one of the trio. That's about it for recognizable names, although Joe Venuti and Eddie Lang were in the band. I just didn't notice them (I think Lang got a solo - obviously didn't make a big impression.

The final number was about the American melting pot, and how it created jazz. He shows all the nationalities that came to America and influenced jazz: the English, Irish, Swedish, Scots, Danes,... Let's see, who are we leaving out? Hint: There is exactly one black person in the movie, a little black girl sitting on Whiteman's lap as a joke. 

But with all the racism, unjazzy jazz, and schmaltz, this was a fun watch. Whiteman is a charming presence, and his music isn't bad if you think of it as, say, operetta. And some of the production is boggling. One set has a giant piano that the whole orchestra fits on. Shades of 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.

Streets of Venice

I picked up Casanova (2005) at a library DVD sale. How bad could Heath Ledger as Casanova be? Not bad at all.

It starts with Casanova as a little boy. His mother leaves him with his grandmother, and promises to come back. In the next scene, Heath Ledger is the grown-up Casanova. Mom is taking her time. 

Ledger, apparently incognito, walks through Venice, listening to scandalous gossip abouit himself. He visits his friend the Doge, who likes him, but lets him know that the church will force him into exile unless he changes his ways. So Ledger gets engaged to a beautiful blonde virgin, Natalie Dormer. 

But Ledger later runs into, and fall in love with, Sienna Miller. Miller is an intellectual, who secretly writes feminist tracts under a pseudonym. Since she abhors the libertine Casanova, he pretends to be his servant. Since her family has run out of money, she is engaged to be married to rich Patrizzio (Oliver Platt). So Ledger decides to reveal his true identity - he is Patrizzio! When the real Patrizzio shows up, Ledger and crew waylay him, tell him his hotel is closed, take him to a palazzo, steal his clothes, etc. The old sit-com run-around.

All of this is mildly amusing, and very beautiful. The movie was filmed in Venice, and uses it well. The actors are good looking, and include a few faves, like Jeremy Irons, Lena Olin, and Charlie Cox. However, I can't say this really stuck with me. The romance(s) struck me as a bit shallow (makes sense for Casanova), and the hijinks not fully "rollicking". 

All in all, a pleasant watch, but maybe not needed as part of my permanent collection. 

Abracadabra

Well, they finally figured out how to title a sequel: Now You See Me: Now You Don’t (2025). Except this coming after Now You See Me 2 kind of spoils the effect. 

This one starts with an underground Four Horsemen magic show in a warehouse. The four magicians bring a volunteer on stage, and then merge into his body, performing their tricks thriugh him. The big trick is to steal the phone of an asshole crypto-bro and distribute his account to everyone at the show.

After the show, the volunteer and two other young people are walking home. You see, the Horsemen were just deep-fake projections, the volunteer (Dominic Sessa) was an impressionist, the girl (Ariana Greenblatt) was an audience member who pickpocketed the phone, and Justice Smith was the hacker and behind the scene guy. We learn a lot of this because Horsemen ringleader Jesse Eisenberg shows up. He has a mission from the Eye, the shadowy magician crime-fighting organization. It is to take down diamond dealer Rosamund Pike. The rest of the crew won't be available - for reasons. Probably because Eisenberg is a dick.

Pike, with a fulsome South African accent, is the owner of the top diamond mines in the world. She keeps her prices high by converting dirty money from arms dealers and despots into clean gems. She owns the world's largest diamond, and displays it at a party. And of course, Eisenberg and the new kids steal it. And they get away because the other Horsemen show up: Jess Franco, Woody Harrelson, and Isla Fisher. 

So what next? A coded message directs them to a magic-themed mansion, where they meet Morgan Freeman, and search for clues. But the police show up, and half the group is captured. 

It goes on like this for a while, with puzzles, tricks, cold-reading and peril. It ends (SPOILER) with all the Horsemen (including Lizzie Caplan, who was replaced by Isla Fisher in the second movie) and the three new guys together, all back in the eye and ready for another adventure.

Will there actually be another adventure? Now You See Me: Now You Don't: 2? This entry was a bit tired, and maybe didn't hold together as well as the first two. I liked the new guys, but not sure if we really need eight Horsemen. The personal relationships didn't seem to be very strong. And the twists and tricks seemed a little weaker, although the finale was pretty sweet. 

We'll see. I'll probably watch it if it comes out.

Dragons All the Way Down

Just a quick note on Dragon Fist (1979), a Jackie Chan movie that Amazon Prime suggested the we "finish watching" = we auto-started this and you didn't watch it - why?

Anyway, Jackie is a student at a good martial arts studio, but another teacher shows up to challenge the master. This teacher beats master so badly that he dies. So Jackie takes his master's wife and daughter to go get revenge.

But when he gets to the other teacher's school, he apologizes sincerely, and reveals that he has cut off his own leg as penance. Jackie isn't really satisfied, but what can he do? Fight a one-legged amn?

So Jackie settles in with his late master's family. To take care of them, he goes to work for another master, and gets into the war between this guy and another master. When he figures out who the bad guys are, it might be too late.

This is a relatively early film for Jackie Chan. It's a bit on the dark side, with no real good guys once the master is killed. There aren't any jokes or funny stunts or fights. Some of the fights seem a little weak, although Jackie delivers throughout. Director Lo Wei is pretty influential (Fists of Fury), but I don't this is one of his best. It doesn't use Jackie to his best advantage. But still fun 

All for One

I'm a sucker for a Three Musketeers movie, so I was pretty psyched for the recent French version: The Three Musketeers: D’Artagnan (2023).

I should give a quick plot synopsis, but it's pretty much the story that you know. I also won't be listing the cast, because I don't recognize a single actor, except Vincent Cassel as Athos and Eva Green as Milady. A few points of interest:

• In the first scene where D'Artagnan fights in the inn courtyard, he is shot and left for dead, and has to crawl out of his shallow grave. The whole fight takes place in a rainstorm, and there is a lot of mud.
• Porthos tries to seduce D'Artagnan - yes, he swings both ways, sometimes with Aramis (?).
• There was a bit more Cmdr. Treville in this one - he even fights with the Musketeers sometimes. 
• It ends on a cliffhanger, with Constance abducted and D'Artagnan knocked out.

This was a decent swashbuckler, with some nice modern touches. I thought the amount of dirt, mud, and brown clothing a little excessive. But mostly I found it a little generic. Athos was olde than the others,  but Aramis isn't particularly handsome and Porthos wasn't that portly. D'Artagnan didn't have a lot of character either. Even Milady was a bit plain. 

A lot of the time, I found myself comparing this to the Richard Lester version, which was much more vivid, with stronger characters and clearer motivations. Maybe the problem was that I was watching in translation, and missing some of the subtleties. Maybe this just wasn't my style. 

But I'll probably watch the sequel. 

Ghost Face

This was a random pick Ghost Killer (2024) - Japanese action with a comedy twist.

It starts with a fight in an alley - four against one, Masanori Mimoto, in fast, almost silent hand to hand combat. Mimoto has defeated the four when he is shot.

Then we meet Akari Takashi, an ordinary college girl who works in a restaurant and has terrible dates with "influencers". On her way home one day, she notices a shell casing and picks it up. It came from the bullet that killed Mimoto in the opening. 

When she gets home, she meets her friend Ayaka Higashino, whose boyfriend has been knocking her around. When they go inside, she sees Mimoto in the apartment and freaks out. But Higashino can't see him - he's a ghost. It appears that he can't be released from the mortal coil until he can avenge himself. And he will need her help.

First, he shows her that he can help her. It turns out that he can take over her body and use his excellent fighting skills to help her beat up bullies like Higashino's boyfriend. He was a paid killer for an "antisocial organization". She doesn't like the association, but it does turn out to be handy. 

There are two things going for this movie. First is the fight choreography, by directort Kensuke Sonomoto, who seems to be getting a good name in the action genre, along with Yugo Sakamoto, who wrote this. The second is the "average college girl" dropped into the yakuza milieu. There are some cute scenes where she is punching someone out (under ghost control), and complaining about how much it hurts her fists. 

I enjoyed this, although I'm not sure how well they executed on this second part. Not sure they have the Japanese teen girl thing completely figured out. Or maybe it's me that's wrong. But the action was flawless. I'll definitely look up a few more of their films. 

Everyone Knows It's Windy

After watching Spinal Tap II, we had an urge to watch A Mighty Wind (2003). We mainly wanted to refresh our memory and then watch the commentary track.

This is a Christopher Guest mockumentaty, much in the style of Spinal Tap. A great manager of folk acts has died, and his son (Bob Balaban) wants to put on a memorial concert with his biggest bands: The Folksmen, The Main Street Singers, and of course, Mitch and Mickey. 

The Folksmen are Harry Shearer, Michael McKean, and Christoper Guest (same lineup as Spinal Tap). They are basically the Kingston Trio, three preppy guys singing train songs, phony calypso and of course, songs of the Spanish Civil War. 

The New Main Street Singers are basically the New Christie Minstrels, and have a similar complicated back story. The original band was a neuf-tet, a combo of a quartet and a quintet. The reformed around the one surviving member, and the new group includes a long-time fan, an ex-porn star, now witch, and Parker Posey, daughter of a founding member, taken in off the streets. Their sound is peppy and polished. 

Then there's Mitch (Eugene Levy) and Mickey (Catherine O'Hara), a romantic duet who had broken up years ago. I'm reminded of Richard and Linda Thompson, but more so to Ian and Sylvia. My reason: Mickey and Silvia (Love is Strange) x Ian and Silvia (Four Strong Winds) = Mitch and Mickey. After the breakup, Mickey settled down, married an catheter salesman and model train enthusiast. Mitch went insane - but he's doing much better now. He can koind of talk coherently and everything. 

Their big song, A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow, has them kiss at the last chorus. But will they on the night, or will they leave the audience hanging? Or will Mitch even show up?

Now, I was alive and a fan during the big Folk Music Scare of the 60s. I have continued to be, and it's plain that these guys love the milieu as much as me, or anyone. They get so many little details right. For example, when they are interviewing O'Hara as Mickey, the camera holds on her twisting the clunky rings on her hands. This could just be a character beat, but it also reminded me of Joan Baez, whose partnership with Bob Dylan was famously fraught. Just adding another layer. 

The music, by the way, was great - and the actors played their instruments and sang their own songs. In fact, they sang them live on film, and according to the commentary, some scenes used the first take. The members practiced alone, then came together to play the song, and that's what was used. Mitch and Mickey's Next to You is a particularly sweet song. 

This isn't even to mention Fred Willard as a lame ex-kid star, or Jennifer Coolidge as ... it's hard to say what she is. And many more great improvisors in tiny scenes.

A mighty good film. 

You Know, For Kids

The Blank Check podcast did their Coen Brothers series a while ago. But I still hadn't rewatched The Hudsucker Proxy (1994), and had the urge, so pulled it out.

It is set in New York, 1958. Tim Robbins is a recent college graduate from Muncie, Indiana. He has come to New York to find work, but everything on offer requires experience. But fate, and the city wind, blows an ad for a mailroom job at Hudsucker Industries. He is hired and introduced to the chaotic, rule-bound, cut-throat world of the Hudsucker mailroom. 

Meanwhile, in the boardroom at the top of the Hudsucker Building, the annual report shows that the company is thriving in all areas. But the chairman and founder takes this opportunity to climb up on the conference table, take a long running start, and jump through the window to his death. 

One of the directors, Paul Newman, realizes that the founders shares will be sold to the public in a months time. The board will lose control of the company - unless they can depress the stock price by enough so that they can buy up the shares. All they need is a patsy - a figurehead so dopey it will scare off investors.

While the board is brainstorming nincompoops, Robbins is tasked with delivering a Blue Letter - a top-priority communication between board members to be delivered directly into Mr. Newman's hand. But when he gets to see Newman, instead of delivering the letter, he shows him his big idea: a sketch of a circle. "You know, for the kids." Newman has found his patsy, or proxy. 

So Robbins becomes the President of Hudsucker Industries. The press is puzzled - girl reporter Jennifer Jason Leigh thinks he's a phony, just pretending to be an idiot. She goes undercover as another Muncie girl, looking for a chance to get ahead. It's right out of Mr. Deeds Goes to Town. 

Leigh is the hero of this movie for me. She does a brilliant Katherine Hepburn mid-Atlantic accent, while talking thirteen to the dozen in snappy patter. The newsroom scenes with buddy Bruce Campbell and editor John Mahoney are very faithful to the screwball comedies this is clearly referencing. I've mentioned Mr. Deeds, but you get plenty of His Girl Friday, and even a touch of The Lady Eve. I've heard that the Coens' direction was mostly, "Faster."

So this was a lot of fun, although maybe Robbins could have been a little less clueless. I'd call it lesser Coen, which just shows how good their films are. 

Chin Chin

As I mentioned, Ms. Spenser visited Ischia, Italy, which inspired us to watch The Talented Mr. Ripley. The movie was filmed partly in Ischia, which they called "Mongibella". Coincidentally, a local shop had an sale on some Italian blood orange juice, brand name Mongibella. So I bought some, and made a simple cocktail:

Mongibella

3-4 oz. blood orange juice

2 oz. gin

Mix in a highball glass with ice. Add

1 dollop of pomegranate molasses (can sub grenadine)

Top with sparkling water

Wrong Way

I've mentioned the Goes Wrong Show before, but it was only on a trip to NYC that I found there's a Broadway verion. 

And we just found Peter Pan Goes Wrong (2016).

The concept is pretty simple. An amateur theatrical troupe puts on a play and it goes wrong. In this case, a Christmas presentation of Peter pan, David Suchet narrating. But it isn't a pantomime ("Oh, yes it is!", "Oh, no it isn't!") Some of the things going wrong are obvious: the flight harnesses, for example. Everyone plays several parts, and the costume changes don't always work. Props fail. One actor is tongue tied, and one has a large headset so he can be fed lines. 

Some are more unexpected. Tinkerbell gets electrocuted by her light costume (the audience believes in fairies, so she gets better). Also, the actor playing Pan is put out of commission by a harness failure, leading to almost everyone taking a turn. 

But Pan lives, and so does the girl crushed in a prop. And the kid playing the crocodile, who no one likes, gets to save the day. And when David Suchet is crushed, the tongue tied girl reads the final monologue successfully. It's a Christmas miracle. 

Next time we're in NYC, we'll try for tickets.