Damnit Barry!

You know, I didn't think The Flash (2023) was so bad. There, I said it. 

It starts with Ezra Miller as Barry Allen at a coffeeshop, trying to get his usual breakfast PBJ. He preseents as on the spectrum, upset that the usual barista hasn't made it for him already. And of course, he's late for work - classic gag, fastest man alive is always late. Then Batman (Ben Affleck) calls, with an emergency, and all of the other (better) superheroes are busy. A hospital is collapsing, and a maternity ward is falling, with eight babies, a nurse and a therapy dog in peril. This is one of the things I like about this movie - they way they comically heighten the stakes by adding the dog. And Barry's having a blood sugar crash, so he has to raid a snack machine before saving everyone.

We get a flashback of the Allen trauma, where his mother (Meribel Verdu) is kiled while his father (Ron Livingston) is out shopping. Overcome by grief, he accidentally discovers that his powers lets him go back in time. So he makes it so that his father doesn't need to go shopping - and winds up on a new timeline.

In this timeline, Barry Allen is a normal young slacker with no superpowers. Also, there's no Superman or any other superheroes, and Zod is coming to subjugate Earth. So the two Allens try to replicate the circumstances that gave Flash his powers, and it works. Except the old Flash now doesn't have his powers.

It turns out that there is one super(ish)hero: Batman. They head to Wayne Manor and find Michael Keaton, fat, drunk, and unhelpful - except to explain that meddling with time doesn't work out well. But he does let them have his Batplane.

They head to Siberia, where they believe there is a Kryptonian, and find, not Superman, but Kara-El, Supergirl (Sasha Calle). So now they have a chance. But it doesn't work out. So - back to time travel. Guess how that works out.

I guess I can see why people weren't really into this. Of course, there's Miller's history of mental and legal problems (Although Rebekah Jones of Florida feels like these have been exaggrated and/or due to transphobia.) And this movie features Miller playing two Barry Allens, one traumatized and one just a dude. Plus, it's the same old story, time travel and multiverse stuff. 

But for one, it's kind of funny. The hospital rescue is Deadpool-level silly. New-timeline Barry is a normal kid with normal roommates, like Gary, who's just crashing on their couch. There's even a joke where they are sneaking into a secret facility and one of the Allens knocks over some equipment, loudly. And when he gets his powers, the younger Allen never lets the more experienced one finish his sentences, leading to contretemps. 

OK, it's not great. But I enjoyed it - more than say, Shazam II. And in the end, Barry puts everything back the way it was. Except Batman (spoiler) is now George Clooney! No!