Kid Stuff

I think I'll the next two movies in one post. They aren't really thematically matched, but they were both pretty much mistakes.

First: Tank (1984). This was a "Long Wait" that suddenly showed up. I wanted to see it because it starred James Garner. He plays a Command Sergeant Major - a super-Sarge - moving to a new post with his wife Shirley Jones and son C. Thomas Howell. There is mention of a dead son, and an impending retirement to a fishing boat. There is also a tank that he bought surplus and fixed up as a project with his son.

Garner gets along on base, but the Officer's Club is a noisy disco, and he seeks a quiet place to drink. So he winds up in a townie bar, the kind with some trailers out back for the working girls. He's having a drink with one, just shooting the shit while singing sea shanties. But a deputy sheriff (James Cromwell!) doesn't like him. Since the law runs the hookers in this town, he orders the girl back to work and slaps her. Garner will put up with a lot, but not that. He slaps the deputy to the floor and it is on.

There's a bit of back and forth with the law in town, G.D. Spradlin, trying to get his hands on Garner, and the Army insisting that they have jurisdiction. So Spradlin and Cromwell set up Garner's son of drugs. When he's convicted by Spradlin's brother-in-law the judge, it's time for Chekov's Tank.

The first part of this is actually heavier than you might expect. The low-level misogyny, the violent misogyny, the background racism, the explicit racism against "Jew lawyers", Howell's feelings that he comes second to his dead brother, all pretty upsetting. So it's great to see Garner in his tank with the hooker running down the Sheriff's jail and freeing his son, then heading for the Tennessee line. But maybe not as great as it should be. Also, Shirley Jones gets nothing to work with, and tries too hard to make something of it. Sort of sad.

I queued up Sky High (2005) on. the recommendation of Laird Barron, Ms Spenser's favorite horror writer. But it isn't a horror movie, it's a teen superhero spoof. The setup is: Kurt Russell and Kelly Preston are the biggest superheroes in Superheroville. Their son, Michael Angarano, has no powers, but he can't tell his parents that. He is starting superhero high school, along with his best friend, Danielle Panabaker. She has the minor superpower of controlling plants. The school hovers above the clouds, served by a flying schoolbus.

At the titular Sky High, they fall in with a group of the usual goofballs, but Angarano is attracted by senior Mary Elizabeth Winstead (to Panabaker's distress). They also discover that they will be tested by taskmaster Bruce Campbell (yay!) to determine if their powers are great enough for them to be classed as heroes, or if they will be relegated to the sidekick track. Angarano and most of his goofball friends wind up as sidekicks.

But it turns out that Angarano has an arch-enemy, Warren Peace (Steven Strait, Holden from The Expanse). Strait is the smoldering, leather-jacket-wearing loner with long greasy hair that often threatens the hero in these teen movies, later becoming an ally. But first, he attacks Angarano in the cafeteria, and Angarano finds his powers. 

Now, that Angarano will be in the hero track, will he forget his sidekick friends? Will he drop Panabaker for Winstead? Will Winstead be good for him? And all that stuff. You know the answers - there's even a scene where he makes a date with Panabaker and forgets about it when Winstead offers to spend time with him. Ever seen that before?

Although this isn't all that original, even adding in the superpower stuff, it's all done well enough. The kids are cute, plot is handled competently, and it was a good role for Bruce Campbell. (And Lynda Carter as the principal.) There are also roles for Dave Foley as a forgotten sidekick, and Kevin McDonald as Professor Medulla, with a giant brain. But overall, this just isn't really our thing. 

So, Ms. Spenser enjoyed Sky High and wandered off during Tank. I guess I owe her some good movies.