Modern Times

So, the wife was out for a Fri evening, so it's a Guy's Movie Night! Something she'd never watch in a million years: a 2-hour-plus midcentury semi-musical: Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967).

Julie Andrews is Millie. We are introduced to her as a sensible turn-of-the-century woman, with a full dress, long curls and a sensible hat. In a montage on the streets of New York, we see her get her hair bobbed, get a short skirt, a cloche hat, and finally, a long string of flapper beads. Next we meet Mary Tyler Moore as Miss Dorothy, a sheltered, spoiled, and oblivious orphan girl from California. Their rooms are across from each other in a women-only hotel. The proprietress is a moral old woman played by Beatrice Lillie. We know a secret about her - she and her Chinese laundrymen are kidnapping her guests and selling them into "white slavery". She has her eyes on Moore.

Andrews has a plan in life - she is going to be a Modern Girl, have loose morals, make out in the rumble seat of roadster, and marry her rich boss. She just has to find a job with a single boss. In the meantime, she meets James Fox, a devil-may-care paperclip salesman, at a dance. He charms her by creating a new dance craze, the Tapioca.

I'm afraid this big dance number is atrocious - I suppose it is intended to be. The movie isn't quite a musical, but it does have several musical and dance numbers. My favorites, however, are the ones that just sort of slip in, with Andrews and Moore just breaking out in a few simple steps. The elevator in the hotel won't work unless you bang on the walls and stomp on the floor, so they always do a little dance number to get it to go. These aren't big production numbers, just some accomplished hoofers doing their thing.

Andrews does get a single boss, impossibly handsome John Gavin. But she is being chased by Fox, who has a boss who lends him cars and even an airplane. He takes Andrews and Moore to a party at a palatial estate in Connecticut. It's owned by Carol Channing. It's a swell party, but Andrews sees him sneaking Moore into his room and is disillusioned.

But she can't seem to get Gavin to tumble for her. He is strictly business - nicknames her "John" because she's one of the boys. Worse, he falls for Moore. Will Millie find love with a rich man? Will Miss Dorothy be abducted by the Chinese? And what of Carol Channing?

She's my favorite part - a real 1920's cartoon character, with a couple of great numbers including the suggestive Jazz Baby. The next best number is a Jewish wedding party (Trinkt Le Chaim), with a surprising klezmer twist. No idea how it got in this movie. 

This is a long movie, and really isn't great. But there's at least a bit of bouncy fun in some of the dances. And at least Ms. Spenser didn't have to sit through it.