Scary Monsters, Super Freaks

Freaks of Nature (2015) is the sort of thing we've seen a few times, so it doesn't exactly come across as original. But we kind of like it, so we keep queuing them up: teen horror comedies. John Hughes with a body count.

It starts with our three main characters on the run through suburban streets, chased by a mob of zombies and vampires. Then, in the distant downtown, we see the flying saucer. Then, we do a "how did we get here."

We find out that this little town is famous for two things: the "riblet", an industrial meat-like product, and the fact that humans, zombies and vampires all live together in loose harmony. Our main protagonist is Nicholas Braun, a normal guy. His claim to fame is his fastball, so he plays on the team managed by the owner of the riblet factory, Denis Leary, a kind of Elon Musk of meat products. Braun has had a crush on his sexy next-door neighbor since childhood (Vanessa Hudgens). He holds her stash, and she comes over to his bedroom to get high and cock-tease him. Braun's parents are embarrassing hippies Bob Odenkirk and Joan Cusack.

His old best friend is Josh Fadem, a nerdy genius who's brother and father are total jock meatheads who never miss a chance to remind him that he is a loser. When a zombie girl is kind to him, he begins to think it might be nice to have nothing to worry about but "brains".

Then there's Mackenzie Davis, an ordinary nice girl who is being courted by the hottest vampire in school. When she tells him she's ready, she thinks they are going to have sex. Instead, he drinks her blood and turns her.

Then the aliens show up and start disintegrating people. The humans, vampires, and zombies do what you'd expect - they turn on each other. 

And that's about it. The kids spend the last half/third of the movie rnnning away from the various menaces, before they come up with a plan and emerge victorious. There are funny little touches of Leary, Cusack, and Odenkirk, plus Keegan-Michael Key, Patton Oswald, and werner Herzog. But I have to say, not enough. 

The working title for this was Kitchen Sink, and I can see why. Not just the zombie/vampire/aliens (why no werewolves? Just wait). There are a lot of characters and incidents, a lot of arcs, just a lot of stuff. I feel like it could have either been less cluttered or more crazy. Instead, it's weirdly grounded. In a town of humans, vampires, and zombies, the baseball team is the source of a lot of the drama (and the resolution of the plot). 

Still, it was kind of cute, and definitely overstuffed with talent. I hope they had fun making it. We had fun watching.