Tales of Brave Ulysses, That Jerk

A film about Ulysses (1954) with Kirk Douglas in the leading role? That pretty much launched the peplum (sword and sandal) craze? Sign me up!

It starts with Silvana Mangano as Penelope, suffering the suitors as she wove and unraveled her tapestry, along with old Mentor and young Telemachus. Then we find Douglas as Ulysses, washing up on shore, all by himself. He has lost his memory, but is comforted by Rossana Podesta as Nausicaa. At this point, I'm a little miffed - the Odyssey is almost over. But after they fall in love and are about to be married, he gazes out to sea and remembers.

We get a quick rundown on the Trojan Horse, then the men set sail for home. But since they defiled the temple of Poseidon, their ship is thrown off course. Desperate for supplies, they find an island with a cave filled with sheep and set to work on them. This is, of course, the cave of the Cyclops, who eats one of them and traps the rest. Ulysses does the wine and blinding trick, but not the "My name is No Man" gag. Too bad, it's a favorite.

We also get the adventure of the Sirens and Circe's Isle (with Silvana Mangana also as Circe). Meanwhile, Anthony Quinn shows up as Antinous to woo Penelope, and he isn't some rude jerk - he's a powerful warlord who gets what he wants. 

When Ulysses finally gets back to Ithaca, though, watch out.

Once I realized that this story would be told largely in flashback, I settled down - of course the Odyssey traditionally has a full recap of the story every now and then, so that fits. I liked the the whole sword and sandals spectacle, especially the Cyclops, which was directed by Mario Bava, uncredited. Unfortunately, I didn't like wily Ulysses. His outright theft of the sheep, his years of dalliance with various babes on islands when he should have been attending to business - I suppose some of this was to show that things were different then, and some was in the original material. But it all left kind of a bad taste in my mouth. And it was worse for Ms. Spenser, who found the whole thing annoying.