Aqua-Wan

We went into Aquaman (2018) expecting something better than the sorry run of DC comic movies and we got it. But that’s a low bar to clear.

It starts with the keeper of a lighthouse (Eddystone?) Temuera Morrison (a kind of Mark Ruffalo looking guy), meeting and marrying a mermaid, Nicole Kidman. They have a son together, Arthur Curry. She has run away from her kingdom under the sea because they were trying to marry her off to some noble jerk. One day, the jerk sends an squad of well-armed sea dwellers to bring her back. Even though she fights them off, she decides to return to protect her husband and son.

Years later, after being intermittently trained by undersea vizier Willem Dafoe, Curry is now Aquaman (Jason Momoa). We see him rescuing a submarine full of advanced weapons from father and son weapons dealers and pirates Michael Beach and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II. He doesn’t kill or apprehend these guys, but pointedly leaves Beach trapped to die, so that Abdul-Mateen can swear vengeance. That about completes the set up. Actual movie starts now.

When Kidman went back to her kingdom, she married the king and they had a son, Curry’s half-brother Patrick Wilson. He plans to unite the undersea kingdoms and attack the surface world, because of pollution. OK, valid point. He has the allegiance of King Nereus (Dolph Lundgren) but not his daughter, Mera (Amber Heard). So when Wilson unleashes tidal waves of garbage on the land, Heard goes looking for Momoa.

The rest of the movie is a series of somewhat random quests - for the clue to the map to the other clue to the magic trident. It’s kind of arbitrary, but does have Momoa and Heard bickering and fighting, which is fun. There is also all kinds of underwater scenery, also fun. It ends with Momoa finding his mother, then defeating the Karathen (voiced by Julie Andrews) by talking to her nicely, and getting the trident McGuffin.

Then there’s a big fight. Momoa already fought Wilson for the kingship and lost (shades of Black Panther) but I guess he gets a do-over. I mainly enjoyed this fight because Aquaman rides a sea horse and manages not to look (too) goofy.

It all ends happily ever after, except for Abdul-Mateen, who got his hands on some Atlantean weapons. He will now (or in the sequel) be known as the Black Manta! Aren’t all mantas black?

I enjoyed watching this a lot - Ms. Spenser less so. And after a while, I could see why. There’s not much there. All the scene setting, the computer game quest of the middle, the worn out Chosen One plot (hey, his name is Arthur, get it?). At least he has mommy issues instead of daddy issues.

Actually, his dad may have been the best part - just a simple lighthouse keeper, deeply in love with a mermaid.

It seems a little funny that James Wan directed this - of Saw, Insidious, Conjuring, and other super-scary franchises. I feel like he is most famous for low-budget, atmospheric horror - none of which are on display in this. Then I remembered he directed a Fast and Furious.