They Fly Now

Since we enjoyed the first one so much (?), we figured we might as well catch the sequel Piranha II (1982). Directed by James Cameron, it at least had the underwater photography going for it. The rest was mostly a regular vacation sex comedy. Oh yes, and flying piranhas.

Tricia O'Neil is the diving instructor at a Caribbean resort, where she lives with her teenaged son. Her ex-husband, Lance Henriksen, is police chief. She takes a dive group out to a wreck, and one member doesn't come back - she sees the horribly chewed body, but Henriksen whisks it away and won't let her see it.

Another member of the dive group, Steve Marachuk, is hitting on her pretty relentlessly. Deciding to make good use of him, she takes him to the morgue to photograph the body - quite a first date. They get shooed out by a nurse, who then gets chomped by a piranha, hidden in the body (?). It then flies off. They fly now? They fly now.

O'Neil figures out that there is something nasty in the water and tries to shut down the beach, but her warnings aren't heeded. In the meantime, her son is crewing on a small sailboat owned by a rich idiot and his sexy topless-sunbathing daughter. 

In fact, we get a number of topless sunbathers. We also get some guys on the make, a desperate cougar, and enough hijinks to make you think you're watching Club Paradise. I kept expecting Rick Moranis and Eugene Levy to show up looking for ganja. 

According to sources (Wikipedia), Roger Corman sold the idea for the sequel to an Italian producer, Olivio Assonitis. Assonitis demanded a non-English speaking crew, and locked Cameron out of the editing process. So Cameron isn't very proud of this. There is a directors cut that only came out on VHS and laserdisk, so who knows if it's any better.

Of course, this isn't exactly bad-bad. The comedy is pretty shopworn, the horror kind of sparse, but theree are some good chewed up prosthetics, and you can almost see the piranhas in this. We will definitely be seeing Piranha III, a 2000s-era restart of the franchise. But we're in no hurry

Return of the Living Film Quiz

It's a miracle! Dennis Cozallo has revived the long dormant blog Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule. And there's a Film Quiz! Since it came out in June, I'm a little late with my homework, but here it is.

1) Movie that best reflects, describes or embodies the tenor of our times

The Great Dictator.

2) Favorite Don Siegel movie not starring Clint Eastwood

I haver a soft spot for The Big Steal, mostly for Jane Greer. 

3) Your favorite movie theater, now or then

The Coolidge Corner in Brookline MA. It wasn't that the theater wasn't great, especially after they made the balcony into a separate screen. But they had an amazing samurai film series for several years in the early 80s - two double bills a week. We saw so many movies, before and after we spent a wanderjahr in Japan. We also had a trick to get a good parking space, but it probably doesn't work anymore. 

4) You’re booking this Friday and Saturday night at that theater—What are the double features for each night?

Ooh, fun! Let's go with Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo and Gosha's Hunter in the Dark for Friday (a little bit of fun). Then Throne of Blood and Kill! with Tetsuya Nakadai for something a little more serious. I saw all these first at the Coolidge Corner.

5) Wendy Hiller or Deborah Kerr?

I've seen a bit of Hiller, but not enough to judge. Debora Kerr has made much more of an impression, in The Grass is Greener and The Innocents, to mention two very different roles. 

6) Last movie seen in a theater/on physical media/by streaming

Last time in a theater was 2022. See #31. Physical media was Monkey Man, a library DVD. Streaming, the Richard Widmark Hammer horror To the Devil ... A Daughter (see #11).

7) Name a young actor in modern films who, either physically or by personality, reminds you of an actor from the age of classic movies

It isn't a good answer, but in the first Fantastic Beasts movie, Dan Fogler managed a very classic period look and style. He reminds me of Jack Oakey or Jack Haley, or maybe Lee Tracy.

8) Favorite film of 2014

Probably The Grand Budapest Hotel, or maybe Under the Skin.

9) Second-favorite Louis Malle film

Tough one. I loved Murmurs of the Heart when I saw it in college - so transgressive. I wonder if I could stand it now. I'm going to say Viva Maria, just as a goof, without chosing a first favorite. 

10) The Ladykillers (2004 Coen Bros. version)—yes or no?

Haven't seen, due to bad reviews. Lately, I've heard better things, so I may try it.

11) Andy Robinson (Scorpio) or Richard Widmark (Tommy Udo)?

Widmark is unbeatable, especially as the lady killer Tommy Udo.

12) Best horror movie from the past ten years

The Witch? Is that almost 10 years old?!?

13) Upcoming movie release you have the highest hopes for in 2024

2024 is almost over, but there's a lot we haven't seen yet. How did everyone like Alien: Romulus? 

14) Movie you’re looking forward to this year that would surprise people or make them consider that you might have finally cracked up.

Can't say I'm looking forward to anything particularly this year (which is almost up). And what I was looking forward to (like Dune 2) were pretty conventional. I was looking forward to Madame Web, even after the reviews came back. But people who know me expect that kind of bad taste. 

15) Favorite AIP one-sheet

Pass.

16) Catherine Spaak or Daniela Giordano?

Pretty sure I've never seen either in anything. But I recognize Spaak as a Euro-sexpot, so her.

17) Favorite film of 1994

I may not have seen as many as I should have, but I'm going to go with In the Mouth of Madness. Was tempted to say The Shadow, which I recently re-watched and liked better than I expected. But no.

18) Second-favorite Wim Wenders film

Bueno Vista Social Club, edging out Wings of Desire. Sorry, #44, I didn't change my choices.

19) Best performance by an athlete in a non-sports-oriented movie

Surfer Gerry Lopez as Subotai in Conan. 

20) The cinema’s Best Appearance by A Piece of Fruit

The apple in The Apple (haven't seen it, really)? How about the apple in Daddy-O? Fans of Mystery Science 3000 will recognize it from the "Want some" scene.

21) Favorite film of 1974

Lots of good choices - how about Blazing Saddles?

22) Most would probably agree we are not currently living in a golden age of film criticism. Given that, who, among currently active writers, do you think best carries the torch for the form?

Why our host, Dennis Cozallo, of course! Just kidding, sorry. I don't read much, but Rod Heath of This Island Rod and Film Freedonia (two blogs!) writes extensive and comprehensive film reviews, often about very silly movies. His taste suits mine as well. 

23) Favorite movie theater snack(s)

We don't go to theaters, like ever. Like, once a decade, and then only for Fathom events or oldies at the Stanford. And then we don't usually get snacks. I tried the frozen cocktails at a modern cinema, but I had to pee during the show.

24) Marion Lorne or Patricia Collinge?

Pass.

25) Recent release you wish you’d seen on a big screen

I suppose Dune 2. I still refuse to go to theaters. I had a chance to go to one of the Lord of the Rings movies for free on IMAX, and passed.

26) Favorite supporting performance in a Sam Peckinpah film

Did anyone answer anything other than Bob Dylan as Alias in Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid?

27) Strother Martin or L.Q. Jones?

They're both great character actors with great faces and great names. I guess I'll pick L.Q. because he took the name of his first big role. (I just checked and his birthname, Justus McQueen, is even better.)

28) Current actor whose star status you find partially or completely mystifying

Nic Cage. I can see enjoying him as camp ("Not the bees!"). But people seem to consider him a good actor, and I can't see it. I don't think I've ever seen him give a focused, nuanced performance. Of course, I haven't seen Raising Arizona yet. 

29) Reese Witherspoon – Election or Freeway?


Haven't seen Freeway, but I find Election rather repellent (as I suppose I should). Pass.

30) Second-favorite Michael Ritchie film

Haven't seen much, actually. Let's put Golden Child first, Fletch second.

31) Favorite theatrical moviegoing experience of the last three years (2021-2024)

Probably the Grateful Dead Meet-Up at the Movies from 2022. This is a yearly (more or less) Fathom event with a Grateful Dead archive concert on the big screen. The 2022 one was the Tivoli Concert Hall show from Europe '72.

32) Favorite Southern-fried movie sheriff

Jackie Gleason as Smokey. 

33) Favorite film of 1954

Lots of choices, but I nominate Ugetsu. A great Japanese ghost story with some interesting pottery making. 

I did just see Secret of the Incas recently. Not really a favorite, but lots of Yma Sumac.

34) A 90-foot wall of water or the world tallest building on fire?

This refers to Dwayne Johnson's recent disaster films San Andreas and Skyscraper, right? How about a giant irradiated gorilla?

35) Second-favorite Agnes Varda movie

Haven't seen a single one. Should I?

36) Favorite WWII movie made between 1950 and 1975

Kelly's Heroes. Want to hear my dog imitation?

37) After the disappointing (against predictions) box-office weekend for The Fall Guy, writer Matt Singer, perplexed by the relative indifference from ticket-buyers toward a film most expected to be a big hit, asked in his piece for Screengrab, “What the hell do people want from movies?” To focus the question slightly more narrowly, what the hell do you want out of movies?

If I could tell you that, I'd be rich. Personally, I liked Fall Guy a lot, but Netflix makes a lot of movies that look like this on paper, but aren't good. Like Red Notice, or The Grey Man. I can see why people would be reluctant. Also, this movie may be just as bad as those, but I was in a better mood.

38) Ned Sparks or Guy Kibbee? 


I do a wicked Ned Sparks drawl, so him.

39) Favorite opening line in a movie

"A screaming comes across the sky"? No? "Call me Ishmael"? Honestly can't think of one, unless Scaramouche starts with a voice over "He was born with the gift of laughter and the sense that the world was mad."

40) Best movie involving radio or a radio broadcast

Pontypool, the language-is-a-virus horror movie. Or maybe The Vast of Night. Both had nice small scales, limited characters and locales - radio movies can be very easy on the budget.

41) Buddy Buddy—yes or no??

OK, it isn't Wilder's best, and not what he wanted to go out on. Also, I'm not a big fan of the Matthau/Lemmon style. But it is Billy Wilder, and I actually like it better than The Fortube Cookie. 

42) Favorite film of 1934

Another year full of promise, but I have to choose The Thin Man, one of my favorites of any year. 

43) Kay Francis or Miriam Hopkins?

Neither is a favorite (although Trouble in Paradise, which stars both is). I feel that Francis is a bit more mannered, or the roles she got were. I might like Hopkins more as a comedian, which is important to me.

44) What’s the oddest thing a movie theater employee has ever said to you?

I don't think one has ever said anything odd to me at all. I overheard someone trying to buy a ticket to Hamlet at a showing of Wenders' Hammet, but the ticket seller corrected him in a very normal way. 

I think I just found an answer to #14.

45) Is there such a thing as an ideal running time for a movie?

Since I watch at home and can pause for toilet or snack breaks, I don't mind long ones. But sometimes we prefer something shorter if it's late or we need to get up early. We put off watching Dune 2 for three weeks until we had time for it.

46) Favorite Roger Corman movie(s)

Strictly as a director, so many! Bucket of Blood, maybe. But we have a deep love of The Undead, the MST3K version of course. Sleep!

As a distributor, he brought Fellini and Kurosawa to American audiences. What a giant among movie men. I hope someday Joe Dante's script about the making of The Trip will be produced.

Daughter Dearest

We didn't really watch as much horror over Horrorween. Ms. Spenser was busy, and I'm not as much of a horror hound. But she did request we watch To the Devil a Daughter (1976).

It starts with priest Christopher Lee being excommunicated from the church for heresy. Much later, we find him running an order of nuns on a secluded Bavarian island. One nun, Nastassja Kinsky, is being released from the order to go to her father in London.

In London we meet Richard Widmark, an author of books about the occult, at a book signing. His agent, Honor Blackman, sees him meet up with a disheveled Denholm Elliott and have a long private chat (when he should be mingling with prominent guests!). 

It turns out that Elliott has asked Widmark to pick up his daughter, Kinsky, at the airport, for reasons that are not explained quite yet. Widmark does this, deftly separating her from her escort, and takes her home to his dockside apartment. She has had a very isolated upbringing, and seems sweetly innocent. 

Blackman and her boyfriend Anthony Valentine come by for breakfast, and we get some explanation: Widmark thinks that Kinsky was raised by a satanic sect, and will be sacrificed on the next day - Halloween. He then goes out, leaving her in his friends keeping. But Christopher Lee telepathically commands her to come to him, and she obeys. Widmark spots her just in time. And so begins the battle of wills. 

This movie obviously has a stacked cast, although only Lee seems to be giving it his all. Well, maybe Kinsky, who is fascinatingly strange as the nun for Satan. She also shows a lot of skin, but that's to be expected. The final act includes a gross little demon puppet, all red and slimy, who seems to be trying to crawl up Kinsky's hoohaw - not sure about that part, but a pretty good effect. 

All in all, a pretty satisfying, if not really good, Hammer horror. It was the last one they made before The Woman in Black. It was great to see Widmark in a later role - but we were very annoyed at how he kept running off to investigate, leaving Kinsky to get into trouble. Focus, man!

Can't Help Falling

With all of the weak movies from Netflix and the other streaming platforms, The Fall Guy (2024) gets it right. It's not a great movie, but compared to a lot of the action movies these guys make, it's a masterpiece. 

Ryan Gosling (or Reynolds? No. Gosling) is the titular fall guy, a stuntman, doubling Aaron Taylor-Johnson (who I kept calling Anya Taylor-Joy). He is having a great life, in love with camera operator Emily Blunt. But a fall stunt that goes a little too fast breaks his back and he retreats from his friends and his business.

Months later, he is living in a dumpy apartment, working as a parking valet for a Mexican restaurant. He gets a call from producer Hannah Waddington. Blunt has achieved her dream of becoming director, and she wants Gosling one the stunt team in Australia. So he burns rubber (of a car he has parked) and bridges and heads out.

When he gets there, Blunt isn't happy to see him. It turns out that Waddington was lying, and now the ex-lovers, director and stuntman, have to work out a professional relationship on set over megaphones. So far, a pretty standard rom-com setup.

But the premise of the TV series this is loosely based on is that the stuntman uses his stunt powers to fight crime. When does Gosling start to fight crime? Well, the reason that Waddington called on him is that Blunt's star, Taylor-Johnson, has gone missing. Maybe his stunt double can find him, and save Blunt's dream project.

His first clue leads him to a club. and Taylor-Johnson's drug dealer, who immediately spikes Gosling's drink with a hallucinogen. Should have gone with a sedative, because he can still fight while hallucinating. This was a fun section - Gosling doing all kinds of wild action while out of his mind. Even when he's back on an even keel, there's still a unicorn hanging around.

I like the way this movie perfectly matches action and rom-com beats, especially with Blunt as the girl. She's smart, ambitious, independent, and Gosling loves and respects her for this. When the whole plot unravels, she is ready to give up on her first movie, but Gosling insists that she finish and use their combined director/stuntman powers to put everything right. 

There are also a few (just a few) cute meta touches. Like the writer comes up to Blunt with an idea: How about solving the problem with the third act by having the movie within the movie have probleks with the third act? Blunt says, no, we won't be doing that. And they don't!

The stunts were pretty great, including some "cannon rolls". If you watch the "Making of" feature for the Rogen Green Hornet, you can find out more about this. Like that movie, they avoided CGI as much as possible here. There is also a meta-joke about Taylor-Johnson lying about doing his own stunts - but they don't really give much credit for Gosling's doubles.

Back in the day, we tried to watch the TV series this was based on, starring Lee Majors. We gave up - there just weren't enough stunts. This movie did not have this problem, plus it had Emily Blunt.

Ape Man

We watched Monkey Man (2024) mainly for Dev Patel (in front of and behind the camera). But also because it looked like a John-Wick-era action classic.

Patel is a desperately poor man, living in an unspecified (?) Indian (?) city, sleeping on the floor with a dozen or so others. He orchestrates the theft of a rich woman's wallet, in a lovingly choreographed scene. The woman runs a high-class nightclub, and when he returns it, he asks only for a job as reward. His resume is his scarred hands, scars he claims to have gotten from working the dangerous jos no one else will take. He gets a chance.

At night, he fights in an underground MMA ring, wearing a gorilla mask (so he's really an ape man?). Here, he throws fights for cash, taking terrible beatings as a result. 

We slowly learn his story: He was raised in a peaceful village and taught by his mother the story of Hanuman, the monkey god. Then the corrupt system came and burned the village, killing his mother and scarring his hands.

His plan, then, is to infiltrate the nightclub to get close to the people who did this to him. He buys a gun from a dealer who asks: "You like John Wick?" Yeah, I'm thinking he likes John Wick.

It's a good plan, with some nice twists, but it fails. He makes it out and hides in a temple. The temple has roots in his old village - a temple of intersex and transsexual worshippers. They nurse him to health, then start him training. Table master Zakir Hussain teaches him to fight to an internal rhythm. These scenes might not be strictly necessary, but we love Ustad Zakir.

The final fight puts him up against the corrupt policeman who burned his town and the political swami who was behind it all.

So there it is, a movie about corruption, Hindu nationalism, trans rights, inequality and revenge. All in the height of modern action style. Some have said they think Patel bit off more than he could chew as first time director. I think he's done a great job, and I hope he continues. 

Tiny Jaws

I've wanted to see Piranha (1978) for a while now. It was Joe Dante's second movie for Roger Corman, with a John Sayles script. This is enticement enough, but I particularly want to see some of the sequels.

It starts with two teens hiking in the woods after dark. They hop a fence with a prominent No Trespassing sign around an old research facility. They decide to go skinnydipping in a pool, and ... the water turns red.

Later, on that same mountain, we find Keenan Wynne delivering groceries (booze) to surly backwoods drunk Bradford Dillman. Then we meet our other protagonist, Heather Menzies, a skiptracer who is assigned the task of finding those missing teens. When she gets to the mountain, she starts bossing Dillman around to get him to help her find the kids. 

They go up to the research facility and start looking around. There are jars full of all kinds of specimens. There is also a little Harryhausen-esque monster running around, but nobody really sees it. Turns out they had plans for it but no budget. Still a cute little bonus. 

They want to see if the kids wound up in the pool, so they find a lever and start draining it. But mad doctor Kevin McCarthy comes yelling at them. Then he steals their car, and drives it into a tree. 

Next morning, back at Dillman's place, McCarthy wakes up and tells them that the pool was filled with mutant piranhas, which were emptied into the river when they drained it. Oh no! What about the kid's summer camp below the dam?

Since they have no working car, they get on a raft and start floating down to alert the authorities. How many swimmers or boaters will get chomped before they get there? And will the mysterious government agents lead by Barbara Steele help or let everyone die?

First of all, this was campy fun. Menzies seems to be competent and pushy, but also sort of ditzy. Dillman seems like a depressed loser, so of course him and Menzies get together. We get a lot of Dante/Corman regulars, like Dick Miller as a resort developer (who doesn't want to close the beach on July 4? Not really, but...) and Paul Bartel as the head of the summer camp, who wants to make sure the little girl who's afraid of the water gets in and swims doggone it. 

But it's also pretty gory, with teens and children being chewed on left and right. No one seems to consider getting out of the water when the bitey things attack. What a concept!

Anyway, the sequel was supposed to be written and directed by James Cameron (who loves those wet movies), but it seems that the exec producer fired him and did a ton of reshoots/re-edits. Took out most of the camp and humor. I guess we'll watch that, if only to get to the latest sequel, Piranha 3DD. 

In conclusion, there is about one second's worth of piranha or piranha model in this movie. Mostly just paper cutout silhouettes. 

Sodium for Godzilla

I figured we should check out Shin Godzilla (2016) since we enjoyed Minus One so much. It was completely different in every way, except that it was a novel re-imagining of the concept. Also, very fun.

It starts with news reports of an abandoned yacht in Tokyo Bay, then a leak in a subway tunnel. There's an investigation, but it doesn't get very far until the monster starts showing up, in the bay and soon, the city. The monster looks very weird, not Godzilla-like at all. 

The governments response team is led by the unconventional but handsome Hiroki Hasegawa. America sends Japanese-American Satomi Ishihara as liaison (note: the actress doesn't do that well with the English dialog - just roll with it, she's great otherwise). She tells them about surpressed research on radioactive mutations, including the code name they gave a hypothetical monster: Godzilla. She lets them know that the monster would mutate further - and it does, looking more like her classic Godzilla self each time they encounter it. 

The fun part is that most of the movie is a bureaucratic procedural, showing how Japan's institutions would deal with a threat like this. There is a lot of responsibility shifting in the first part. There are solutions offered up by the lower levels, which are brought up to higher and higher levels, until the Prime Minister has to decide. Halfway through, he is killed (by Godzila's atomic breath), and replaced by the sleepy, unambitious Farm Minister. This man, though completely out of his league, makes the right decision at a crucial time.

You see, Ishihara-san has assembled a misfit ragtag team of outsiders and nerds, who plan to use blood coagulants in industrial amounts to freeze Godzilla. Now, he literally gives a speech about how they are all ragtag misfit outsiders who need to think outside the box. Heck, his character's name is "Rando". And the solution they come up with is coagulants? Clearly, this is a comedy, a spoof on bureaucracy and disaster movies. At home, we just kept saying "sodium" (ref. MST3K #817, Horror of Party Beach). 

So, like Godzilla Minus Zero is largely a post-war neo-realist film, this is a movie about how the rigid Japanese system deals with disasters and novel situations. And, of course, atomic monsters.