She is Barbarian

I've had my eye on She Is Conann (2023) for a while. Love those woman barbarian movies, and this was a French art film as well. Maybe that was the problem. 

It starts in black and white (and mostly stays there). An old woman is sitting in a sort of dream beauty salon, being menaced and caresses by dog-faced man with a woman's voice and a jean jacket with the his name on it, Rainer. She is being taken to meet Queen Conann.

From her throne in a sort of dystopian grotto, she tells her story. She was a young girl who came to close the barbarian women, and their queen, Sanja, kills her mother and takes her as a slave. Conann vows revenge. Rainer introduces her to herself, 10 years older and played by a different actress. He explains that the older Conann is ready to kill Sanja right now, if younger Conann doesn't want to wait to grow up. When she agrees, older Conann kills her, and now she is the only Conann.

Her attempt at revenge on Sanja goes wrong when she starts kissing her instead. And they become a killing team, ruling the barbarian women, glorying in the gore. And every now and them, Conann meets her older self and gets killed.

For a while, Conann and Sanja live as lesbian lovers in the Bronx, 1980s, with Conann becoming a celebrity stunt woman. It's all about the style. 

Towards the end, she has become very rich, and invites a bunch of the artistic glitterati for a feast with a deal. They inherit all of her wealth if they devour all of her corpse - or almost corpse. She will be heavily anesthetized and cooked while still alive. Now, this is a bit of a spoiler, but mainly a warning. This scene goes on FOREVER. There's lots of gore previously, but in flashes. This just goes on and on. 

All of this is done in a retro-cheapo style, mostly black and white, with color sections, mainly when there's blood being shed. It's full of attitude, sexiness, and punk rock cool. Unfortunately, like in Spine of Night, there wasn't a cool punk score to enhance this. 

If this hadn't been so gore-obsessed, it might have been fun. Or maybe if any of the characters had been interesting or at least less repellent. Oh, well, you pays your money (none, got from library) and takes your chances. Won't be searching out other movies directed by Bertrand Mandico. 

Do You Tube?

This blog started out as a tribute to my Netflix queue. I wanted to feature movies I enjoyed from a particular source, available to everyone with a red-envelope subscription. That time is over. Now a lot of what I write about it the videos I get from the library, with some streaming thrown in. The sources of entertainment are now many and splintered. One thing I've been watching are YouTube concerts. 

For example, we watched Shadows and Light (1980), a video release of a Joni Mitchell concert from 1979. I saw her on this tour, at Tanglewood in Western MA. She had an incredible band, with Jaco Pastorius, Pat Metheny, Lyle Mays, Michael Brecker, Don Alias on drums, and the Persuasions singing backup. This is a super jazzy and funky band, and so is her show. Her songs here have a lot of soul, and sleaze too, with Edith and the Kingpin and Raised on Robbery. The video includes some odd inserts, like some Rebel Without a Cause, ice dancing, and some stock footage of a coyote on Coyote. I think it's the same footage Scorsese uses in The Last Waltz. Note: Jaco gets a solo where he loops himself into a frenzy. We saw him do this in a small club in the 80s.

We also watched some Little Feat, like a RockPalast show. Then we checked out this Midnight Special TV show - the whole hour hosted by Little Feat. No link because it isn't on Letterboxd and it probably won't last on YouTube. But go look for it - it includes Emmylou Harris and Bonnie Raitt (what backup singers, as well as solo acts!), Jesse Winchester (just pardoned by Carter for draft dodging), and Weather Report. It went really well with Shadows and Light. We had some soulful, funky women singing, we had some a cappella (Jesse, Emmylou and Bonnie, singing You Can't Stand Up), and some hot Jaco action.

I suppose everyone knows that there are a ton of these concerts that come and go on YouTube. We never got around to watching them, but I think we're going to be watching more now.

Hard Reign

 When it came time to watch something Ms. Spenser could ignore, I just searched JustWatch for Michelle Yeoh movies and found Reign of Assassins (2010). Good choice.

After a little exposition about a magic McGuffin (mummified body of ancient Buddhist monk - ugh), and a secret league of assassins, we find a woman assassin entering a village and killing everyone there, starting with a little kid. Pretty brutal.

She has a mentor who is about to become a monk, and he is worried about her form. It looks unbeatable, but he says there are four weaknesses, and he's afraid she will be killed if she meets a master. He trains her to overcome them, so well that she kills him in training. His last words to her are, that if this convinces her to give up killing, he would be honored to be the last one she kills.

Wracked by guilt, she tries to reform. She gets cosmetic surgery (performed by under-the-skin parasites - ugh), and now she is Michelle Yeoh. She moves to a village, meets a nice guy and marries him. But the assassins are still looking for the McGuffin, and her old enemies are still looking for her.

This movie is a nice mix of old school and a more modern style. For one thing, it's more intense, violent and gory. For another, the fight scenes are very stylish and accomplished. But it still has the good old scheming eunuchs, mysterious assassins, and old feuds. It also has a touch of Buddhism underneath that makes all the violence go down a little smoother. 

I don't think this broke new ground, but was a nice updating of the old. It was directed by Su Chiao-pin, with help from John Woo. The cast came from all over the Asian sphere, Taiwan, China, Hong Kong, and Korea. I hope they all go on to make more movies like this. 

Deadwolf? Poolverine?

As mentioned previously, Ms. Spenser was asking why I wasn't getting the good DVDs from the library. Does Deadpool & Wolverine (2024) count?

It starts with Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) begging Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau) for membership in the Avengerss. He wants to prove to his girl that he has made something of himself. It does't go well.

He winds up as a badly scarred used car salesman, working for Peter (Rob Delaney), from X-Force. He's pretty bummed about how his life has turned out, although a surprise birthday party his friends throw him helps - friends including Peter, Blind Al, Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead and her kawaii girlfriend, etc. But a sparkly circle appears and he is whisked off to the Temporal Variance Agency.

Fortunately, we watched the Loki show, and we understood this bit. 

Agent Matthew MacFadyen wants to enlist Deadpool into the sacred timeline - although not as "Marvel Jesus" as he assumes. He explains that Deadpool's timeline is going to evaporate, because the anchor, Logan, is dead. There's a bit more exposition, but Deadpool figures he can just bring Wolverine back to the timeline, so he steals a timeline switcher gizmo, and takes off.

First, he finds out that Logan really is dead, and has a massive fight against a TVA squad using his unobtainium bones. Then he goes hunting timelines for a living Wolverine. He finds the comics accurate short Logan and a bunch more, and finally a drunk Logan (Hugh Jackman) in bar. This Logan is in disgrace because he failed to save tbe X-Men of this world. 

When he gets this Wolverine back to the TVA, MacFadyen explains that you can't just replace an anchor like that. And Wolverine figures out that MacFadyen is up to something shady, so MacFadyen sends them to the Void, a timeline outside time.

There they meet a number of "orphaned" superheroes, starting with Chris Evans as, of course, Johnny Storm. They also meet the evil ruler of the Void, Cassandra Nova (Emma Corrin), a nice looking bald lady who is Charles Xavier's twin sister. She can manipulate reality, and likes to run her fingers through your brain. And she has a whole bunch of evil mutants to hang with.

Our heroes find some other helpers: X-32 (Dafne Keene, grown up a bit), Blade (Wesley Snipes, still cool as hell), Elektra (Jennifer Garner), and Tatum Channing as Gambit - at last. Too bad no one can understand his accent. 

Strangely, this is all very reminiscent of Quantumania. Strangely not because it would mean Marvel is plagiarizing itself - it does that all the time. Strangely because that movie bombed, and because it sets up the now-cancelled Kang story arc. In fact, that was a lot of what Loki was about. I'm guessing mid-stream rewrites.

This isn't my favorite Deadpool movie - Reynolds' schtick is getting a little old. Also, I think we can all agree that Marvel is leaning too hard on the multiverse. But I did like the whole "Island of Misfit Superheroes" thing. Like in Multiverse of Madness and the Illuminati, we get to see some beloved or at least dimly remembered characters, played by the actors that fans have been longing for (like Gambit) or not (Johnny Storm). I suppose that means this is the last we'll see of them. 

No Country for Old Twisters

We liked the original well enough, but weren't really excited about Twisters (2024). But it showed up at the library, and it does have a Paul Scheer cameo...

It starts with Daisy Edgar-Jones and her college colleagues out storm chasing with a plan to stop tornadoes. It doesn't work and everyone gets killed, besides her and Anthony Ramos. She was hiding under an overpass, and the drone shot shows the path of destruction: The tornado's path was through fields, away from roads, and straight for the overpass. I'm beginning to think it's personal for these guys. 

Edgar-Jones retires from storm chasing, and goes to work at a DC weather bureau. But she gets a call from Ramos who has gotten funding for a new trial, and wants her to join. He talks her into a one-week jaunt. 

Back in the wide open country of Oklahoma, they get to chasing, but are almost run off the road by a bunch of YouTube yahoos in boosted pickups. The head of that crew is Glen Powell, an energy-drink guzzling, shit-talking macho man. It took a long time for me to realize that he was going to be the male lead of this dumb movie. 

So that's the setup: Edgar-Jones has a tornado super-sense, PTSD and a grudge. Ramos has the backing of a shady insurance company and a crush on Edgar-Jones. Powell and his gang of knuckleheads like taking extreme chances, but are doing it all to help the poor citizens who are threatened by these twisters. It is a bit icky.

The original was a silly bit of fun, but it felt more coherent and focused. The new one seemed more scattered, looking for random audience-pleasing beats (just the beats, please) and references to the first one. But there were no flying cows in this.

But the twister effects are cool, so there is that. But the original had twin twisters (and so should have been called Twisters), so shouldn't there have been at least four twisters in this one?

Ms. Spenser recognized Scheer before I did. It's a cute role, but maybe not worth watching a whole movie for. 

Get Stuffed

I guess I was looking for concert films, but due to poor filtering and hard luck, I picked How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965). I've seen it described as the worst of the Beach Blanket movies, but I've seen the same for all of them. 

It starts in Tahiti, where Frankie Avalon is serving his Army reserve commitment - and being served grapes by a sweet native girl, Bobbi Shaw. He refuses to get heavy with her, because he is true (-ish) to his girl at home, Annette Funicello. She tells him that Annette is probably dallying the same way he is, and takes him to see the witch doctor, Bwana - Buster Keaton.

In exchange for "torpedo squeezings", Buster promises to keep an eye on Annette, and send a beautiful girl to keep all the boys' attention off of her. He then faces the camera and says, "That's all the plot you'll get out of me."

Back on the beach, as a pelican (inhabited by Keaton?) watches Annette, and an empty bikini sashays along. The bikini is soon filled by Beverly Adams, and all the boys go cuckoo over her. That includes Mickey Rooney as the bowler-hatted motorcycle company exec. He wants to use Adams in an ad campaign. His assistant, Dwayne Hickman, however, is more interested in Annette.

And that's all the plot you'll get out of me.

But I should mention that Harvey Lembeck as bike-gang leader Eric von Zipper is present with his crew of Rats (and their girls, the Mice). Brian Donleavy is Mickey Rooney's boss. The Kingsmen play a song that isn't "Louie Louie" and do a number with Funicello. I must also note that all of the songs stink. 

But I love Harvey Lembeck as von Zipper. Keaton's Bwana role isn't great, although it has an odd tiki feel. I don't think he was very impressed by it, but a paycheck is a paycheck.

There are probably worse examples of the Beach Party genre out there. And I'll probably find out. 

Tiny Dancer

I wasn't too sure about Abigail (2024). I knew it was about a gang that kidnaps a little girl and finds that they have bitten off more than they could chew. But I hadn't been too impressed by Becky, so I kept expectations low. I needn't have worried. 

It starts with a gang of professional crooks kidnapping Abigail (Alisha Weir), a little rich girl and ballerina. They take her to a secluded mansion (Wilhelm Mansion, what a scream!) where Giancarlo Esposito explains that he will be getting a ransom for her in 24 hours. They've just got to keep her in the mansion until then and they can split $50 million.

Melissa Barrera is tasked with babysitting the girl, who she tries to treat tenderly. Abigail seems to be very frightened, but also apologizes to Barrera for what is going to happen.

There's a great scene where the gang sits around getting to know each other. They are all using aliases, and not letting anyone know about their backgrounds, for security purposes. But Dan Stevens tries to sum up their roles, and Barrera calls him the least perceptive person she's ever met. Stevens challenges her to guess one true thing about him - and she does, going around the room and cold-reading everyone. It's a nice way to introduce the characters. 

Things start to unravel when they find out that the girl's father is a vicious crime lord, with a mysterious enforcer. And then they start getting killed, starting with the most obnoxious, etc. It isn't much of a secret that the girl is actually an ancient vampire, and also the mysterious enforcer. And everyone is locked in the mansion. And maybe they didn't kidnap the girl, maybe it was arranged so she could feed.

The characters in this were lots of fun, particularly Kevin Durand. He plays a big dumb bruiser, both vicious and lovable. I guess he's been around for awhile, and now he's become a fave.

There's plenty of low-key comedy in this, like Abigail killing with balletic leaps. It ends with the last survivor leaving the mansion mouthing "What the fuck?", an apt summation.

This was directed by Bettinelli-Olpin and Gillett, who have done a bunch of horror or comedy/horror, like the 2022 Scream. We should probably watch those - they might be fun.

On the Road

I've been getting most of our DVDs from the library, and Ms. Spenser asked why I didn't get any of the good recent movies that are out. Well, it takes some time for them to show up on the shelves. That very day, I found Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024).

It starts in the Place of Abundance - a green paradise in the radioactive wasteland. Little Furiosa (Alyla Browne) and a friend are up in a tree, picking peaches when they notice a gang of bikers carving up a horse for meat. While her friend runs to warn the village, Furiosa sneaks up and starts to disable the bikes. But she gets snuck up on and is captured. The villagers assemble a posse, including Furiosa's mother, to follow. They want Furiosa back, but more importantly, to protect the secret of he Green Place.

Furiosa's mother takes out one raider after another with a sniper rifle, and Furiosa disables the bike she's on. But finally, Furiosa's mother sets her free and sacrifices herself - in vain, because Furiosa tries to go back and save her. The final surviving raider captures her, and takes her back his leader - Dementus (Chris Hemsworth). 

This raider refuses to tell anyone but Dementus where the Place of Abundance is. His lieutenants torture him for the info, and accidentally kill him. Hemsworth says he'll just follow the tracks back, but a sandstorm blows up. So he decides to keep her as a surrogate daughter - his tame doctor, the Organic Mechanic (Angus Sampson) certifies her as a pure, unmutated woman. 

Hemsworth is a minor warlord, and he decides to take over Immortan Joe's Citadel. When he gets there, he finds it pretty much impregnable. Plus Joe does Alexander the Great's trick of showing how his warboys will follow orders to kill themselves without hesitation. So Hemsworth trades Furiosa and the Organic Mechanic for some additional water and breast milk and leaves. 

So Furiosa grows up in the Citadel, until she escapes. She comes back as Anya Taylor Joy. She winds up riding shotgun on a war-rig with Praetorian Jack (Tom Burke). Burke is kind of an OK guy, like Max is in Fury Road. They are attacked by a cool gang with hang gliders. And so on.

There are definitely some great action chases. But this movie has more story than Fury Road, more back story of the Bullet Farm, Gas Town, and so on. It's got new-character-enter Dementus. who is a lot of fun. Ms. Spenser wanted to know when Hemsworth became Jason Momoa (complimentary). 

I'm not sure if I prefer the more thoughtful Furiosa or the more single-minded, straight out-and-back chase of Fury Road. I suppose we should watch both a few more times - maybe the chase is just what I remember most. I guess we can watch the while waiting for another good new movie to come to the library. 

They Fly Now

Since we enjoyed the first one so much (?), we figured we might as well catch the sequel Piranha II (1982). Directed by James Cameron, it at least had the underwater photography going for it. The rest was mostly a regular vacation sex comedy. Oh yes, and flying piranhas.

Tricia O'Neil is the diving instructor at a Caribbean resort, where she lives with her teenaged son. Her ex-husband, Lance Henriksen, is police chief. She takes a dive group out to a wreck, and one member doesn't come back - she sees the horribly chewed body, but Henriksen whisks it away and won't let her see it.

Another member of the dive group, Steve Marachuk, is hitting on her pretty relentlessly. Deciding to make good use of him, she takes him to the morgue to photograph the body - quite a first date. They get shooed out by a nurse, who then gets chomped by a piranha, hidden in the body (?). It then flies off. They fly now? They fly now.

O'Neil figures out that there is something nasty in the water and tries to shut down the beach, but her warnings aren't heeded. In the meantime, her son is crewing on a small sailboat owned by a rich idiot and his sexy topless-sunbathing daughter. 

In fact, we get a number of topless sunbathers. We also get some guys on the make, a desperate cougar, and enough hijinks to make you think you're watching Club Paradise. I kept expecting Rick Moranis and Eugene Levy to show up looking for ganja. 

According to sources (Wikipedia), Roger Corman sold the idea for the sequel to an Italian producer, Olivio Assonitis. Assonitis demanded a non-English speaking crew, and locked Cameron out of the editing process. So Cameron isn't very proud of this. There is a directors cut that only came out on VHS and laserdisk, so who knows if it's any better.

Of course, this isn't exactly bad-bad. The comedy is pretty shopworn, the horror kind of sparse, but theree are some good chewed up prosthetics, and you can almost see the piranhas in this. We will definitely be seeing Piranha III, a 2000s-era restart of the franchise. But we're in no hurry

Return of the Living Film Quiz

It's a miracle! Dennis Cozallo has revived the long dormant blog Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule. And there's a Film Quiz! Since it came out in June, I'm a little late with my homework, but here it is.

1) Movie that best reflects, describes or embodies the tenor of our times

The Great Dictator.

2) Favorite Don Siegel movie not starring Clint Eastwood

I haver a soft spot for The Big Steal, mostly for Jane Greer. 

3) Your favorite movie theater, now or then

The Coolidge Corner in Brookline MA. It wasn't that the theater wasn't great, especially after they made the balcony into a separate screen. But they had an amazing samurai film series for several years in the early 80s - two double bills a week. We saw so many movies, before and after we spent a wanderjahr in Japan. We also had a trick to get a good parking space, but it probably doesn't work anymore. 

4) You’re booking this Friday and Saturday night at that theater—What are the double features for each night?

Ooh, fun! Let's go with Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo and Gosha's Hunter in the Dark for Friday (a little bit of fun). Then Throne of Blood and Kill! with Tetsuya Nakadai for something a little more serious. I saw all these first at the Coolidge Corner.

5) Wendy Hiller or Deborah Kerr?

I've seen a bit of Hiller, but not enough to judge. Debora Kerr has made much more of an impression, in The Grass is Greener and The Innocents, to mention two very different roles. 

6) Last movie seen in a theater/on physical media/by streaming

Last time in a theater was 2022. See #31. Physical media was Monkey Man, a library DVD. Streaming, the Richard Widmark Hammer horror To the Devil ... A Daughter (see #11).

7) Name a young actor in modern films who, either physically or by personality, reminds you of an actor from the age of classic movies

It isn't a good answer, but in the first Fantastic Beasts movie, Dan Fogler managed a very classic period look and style. He reminds me of Jack Oakey or Jack Haley, or maybe Lee Tracy.

8) Favorite film of 2014

Probably The Grand Budapest Hotel, or maybe Under the Skin.

9) Second-favorite Louis Malle film

Tough one. I loved Murmurs of the Heart when I saw it in college - so transgressive. I wonder if I could stand it now. I'm going to say Viva Maria, just as a goof, without chosing a first favorite. 

10) The Ladykillers (2004 Coen Bros. version)—yes or no?

Haven't seen, due to bad reviews. Lately, I've heard better things, so I may try it.

11) Andy Robinson (Scorpio) or Richard Widmark (Tommy Udo)?

Widmark is unbeatable, especially as the lady killer Tommy Udo.

12) Best horror movie from the past ten years

The Witch? Is that almost 10 years old?!?

13) Upcoming movie release you have the highest hopes for in 2024

2024 is almost over, but there's a lot we haven't seen yet. How did everyone like Alien: Romulus? 

14) Movie you’re looking forward to this year that would surprise people or make them consider that you might have finally cracked up.

Can't say I'm looking forward to anything particularly this year (which is almost up). And what I was looking forward to (like Dune 2) were pretty conventional. I was looking forward to Madame Web, even after the reviews came back. But people who know me expect that kind of bad taste. 

15) Favorite AIP one-sheet

Pass.

16) Catherine Spaak or Daniela Giordano?

Pretty sure I've never seen either in anything. But I recognize Spaak as a Euro-sexpot, so her.

17) Favorite film of 1994

I may not have seen as many as I should have, but I'm going to go with In the Mouth of Madness. Was tempted to say The Shadow, which I recently re-watched and liked better than I expected. But no.

18) Second-favorite Wim Wenders film

Bueno Vista Social Club, edging out Wings of Desire. Sorry, #44, I didn't change my choices.

19) Best performance by an athlete in a non-sports-oriented movie

Surfer Gerry Lopez as Subotai in Conan. 

20) The cinema’s Best Appearance by A Piece of Fruit

The apple in The Apple (haven't seen it, really)? How about the apple in Daddy-O? Fans of Mystery Science 3000 will recognize it from the "Want some" scene.

21) Favorite film of 1974

Lots of good choices - how about Blazing Saddles?

22) Most would probably agree we are not currently living in a golden age of film criticism. Given that, who, among currently active writers, do you think best carries the torch for the form?

Why our host, Dennis Cozallo, of course! Just kidding, sorry. I don't read much, but Rod Heath of This Island Rod and Film Freedonia (two blogs!) writes extensive and comprehensive film reviews, often about very silly movies. His taste suits mine as well. 

23) Favorite movie theater snack(s)

We don't go to theaters, like ever. Like, once a decade, and then only for Fathom events or oldies at the Stanford. And then we don't usually get snacks. I tried the frozen cocktails at a modern cinema, but I had to pee during the show.

24) Marion Lorne or Patricia Collinge?

Pass.

25) Recent release you wish you’d seen on a big screen

I suppose Dune 2. I still refuse to go to theaters. I had a chance to go to one of the Lord of the Rings movies for free on IMAX, and passed.

26) Favorite supporting performance in a Sam Peckinpah film

Did anyone answer anything other than Bob Dylan as Alias in Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid?

27) Strother Martin or L.Q. Jones?

They're both great character actors with great faces and great names. I guess I'll pick L.Q. because he took the name of his first big role. (I just checked and his birthname, Justus McQueen, is even better.)

28) Current actor whose star status you find partially or completely mystifying

Nic Cage. I can see enjoying him as camp ("Not the bees!"). But people seem to consider him a good actor, and I can't see it. I don't think I've ever seen him give a focused, nuanced performance. Of course, I haven't seen Raising Arizona yet. 

29) Reese Witherspoon – Election or Freeway?


Haven't seen Freeway, but I find Election rather repellent (as I suppose I should). Pass.

30) Second-favorite Michael Ritchie film

Haven't seen much, actually. Let's put Golden Child first, Fletch second.

31) Favorite theatrical moviegoing experience of the last three years (2021-2024)

Probably the Grateful Dead Meet-Up at the Movies from 2022. This is a yearly (more or less) Fathom event with a Grateful Dead archive concert on the big screen. The 2022 one was the Tivoli Concert Hall show from Europe '72.

32) Favorite Southern-fried movie sheriff

Jackie Gleason as Smokey. 

33) Favorite film of 1954

Lots of choices, but I nominate Ugetsu. A great Japanese ghost story with some interesting pottery making. 

I did just see Secret of the Incas recently. Not really a favorite, but lots of Yma Sumac.

34) A 90-foot wall of water or the world tallest building on fire?

This refers to Dwayne Johnson's recent disaster films San Andreas and Skyscraper, right? How about a giant irradiated gorilla?

35) Second-favorite Agnes Varda movie

Haven't seen a single one. Should I?

36) Favorite WWII movie made between 1950 and 1975

Kelly's Heroes. Want to hear my dog imitation?

37) After the disappointing (against predictions) box-office weekend for The Fall Guy, writer Matt Singer, perplexed by the relative indifference from ticket-buyers toward a film most expected to be a big hit, asked in his piece for Screengrab, “What the hell do people want from movies?” To focus the question slightly more narrowly, what the hell do you want out of movies?

If I could tell you that, I'd be rich. Personally, I liked Fall Guy a lot, but Netflix makes a lot of movies that look like this on paper, but aren't good. Like Red Notice, or The Grey Man. I can see why people would be reluctant. Also, this movie may be just as bad as those, but I was in a better mood.

38) Ned Sparks or Guy Kibbee? 


I do a wicked Ned Sparks drawl, so him.

39) Favorite opening line in a movie

"A screaming comes across the sky"? No? "Call me Ishmael"? Honestly can't think of one, unless Scaramouche starts with a voice over "He was born with the gift of laughter and the sense that the world was mad."

40) Best movie involving radio or a radio broadcast

Pontypool, the language-is-a-virus horror movie. Or maybe The Vast of Night. Both had nice small scales, limited characters and locales - radio movies can be very easy on the budget.

41) Buddy Buddy—yes or no??

OK, it isn't Wilder's best, and not what he wanted to go out on. Also, I'm not a big fan of the Matthau/Lemmon style. But it is Billy Wilder, and I actually like it better than The Fortube Cookie. 

42) Favorite film of 1934

Another year full of promise, but I have to choose The Thin Man, one of my favorites of any year. 

43) Kay Francis or Miriam Hopkins?

Neither is a favorite (although Trouble in Paradise, which stars both is). I feel that Francis is a bit more mannered, or the roles she got were. I might like Hopkins more as a comedian, which is important to me.

44) What’s the oddest thing a movie theater employee has ever said to you?

I don't think one has ever said anything odd to me at all. I overheard someone trying to buy a ticket to Hamlet at a showing of Wenders' Hammet, but the ticket seller corrected him in a very normal way. 

I think I just found an answer to #14.

45) Is there such a thing as an ideal running time for a movie?

Since I watch at home and can pause for toilet or snack breaks, I don't mind long ones. But sometimes we prefer something shorter if it's late or we need to get up early. We put off watching Dune 2 for three weeks until we had time for it.

46) Favorite Roger Corman movie(s)

Strictly as a director, so many! Bucket of Blood, maybe. But we have a deep love of The Undead, the MST3K version of course. Sleep!

As a distributor, he brought Fellini and Kurosawa to American audiences. What a giant among movie men. I hope someday Joe Dante's script about the making of The Trip will be produced.

Daughter Dearest

We didn't really watch as much horror over Horrorween. Ms. Spenser was busy, and I'm not as much of a horror hound. But she did request we watch To the Devil a Daughter (1976).

It starts with priest Christopher Lee being excommunicated from the church for heresy. Much later, we find him running an order of nuns on a secluded Bavarian island. One nun, Nastassja Kinsky, is being released from the order to go to her father in London.

In London we meet Richard Widmark, an author of books about the occult, at a book signing. His agent, Honor Blackman, sees him meet up with a disheveled Denholm Elliott and have a long private chat (when he should be mingling with prominent guests!). 

It turns out that Elliott has asked Widmark to pick up his daughter, Kinsky, at the airport, for reasons that are not explained quite yet. Widmark does this, deftly separating her from her escort, and takes her home to his dockside apartment. She has had a very isolated upbringing, and seems sweetly innocent. 

Blackman and her boyfriend Anthony Valentine come by for breakfast, and we get some explanation: Widmark thinks that Kinsky was raised by a satanic sect, and will be sacrificed on the next day - Halloween. He then goes out, leaving her in his friends keeping. But Christopher Lee telepathically commands her to come to him, and she obeys. Widmark spots her just in time. And so begins the battle of wills. 

This movie obviously has a stacked cast, although only Lee seems to be giving it his all. Well, maybe Kinsky, who is fascinatingly strange as the nun for Satan. She also shows a lot of skin, but that's to be expected. The final act includes a gross little demon puppet, all red and slimy, who seems to be trying to crawl up Kinsky's hoohaw - not sure about that part, but a pretty good effect. 

All in all, a pretty satisfying, if not really good, Hammer horror. It was the last one they made before The Woman in Black. It was great to see Widmark in a later role - but we were very annoyed at how he kept running off to investigate, leaving Kinsky to get into trouble. Focus, man!

Can't Help Falling

With all of the weak movies from Netflix and the other streaming platforms, The Fall Guy (2024) gets it right. It's not a great movie, but compared to a lot of the action movies these guys make, it's a masterpiece. 

Ryan Gosling (or Reynolds? No. Gosling) is the titular fall guy, a stuntman, doubling Aaron Taylor-Johnson (who I kept calling Anya Taylor-Joy). He is having a great life, in love with camera operator Emily Blunt. But a fall stunt that goes a little too fast breaks his back and he retreats from his friends and his business.

Months later, he is living in a dumpy apartment, working as a parking valet for a Mexican restaurant. He gets a call from producer Hannah Waddington. Blunt has achieved her dream of becoming director, and she wants Gosling one the stunt team in Australia. So he burns rubber (of a car he has parked) and bridges and heads out.

When he gets there, Blunt isn't happy to see him. It turns out that Waddington was lying, and now the ex-lovers, director and stuntman, have to work out a professional relationship on set over megaphones. So far, a pretty standard rom-com setup.

But the premise of the TV series this is loosely based on is that the stuntman uses his stunt powers to fight crime. When does Gosling start to fight crime? Well, the reason that Waddington called on him is that Blunt's star, Taylor-Johnson, has gone missing. Maybe his stunt double can find him, and save Blunt's dream project.

His first clue leads him to a club. and Taylor-Johnson's drug dealer, who immediately spikes Gosling's drink with a hallucinogen. Should have gone with a sedative, because he can still fight while hallucinating. This was a fun section - Gosling doing all kinds of wild action while out of his mind. Even when he's back on an even keel, there's still a unicorn hanging around.

I like the way this movie perfectly matches action and rom-com beats, especially with Blunt as the girl. She's smart, ambitious, independent, and Gosling loves and respects her for this. When the whole plot unravels, she is ready to give up on her first movie, but Gosling insists that she finish and use their combined director/stuntman powers to put everything right. 

There are also a few (just a few) cute meta touches. Like the writer comes up to Blunt with an idea: How about solving the problem with the third act by having the movie within the movie have probleks with the third act? Blunt says, no, we won't be doing that. And they don't!

The stunts were pretty great, including some "cannon rolls". If you watch the "Making of" feature for the Rogen Green Hornet, you can find out more about this. Like that movie, they avoided CGI as much as possible here. There is also a meta-joke about Taylor-Johnson lying about doing his own stunts - but they don't really give much credit for Gosling's doubles.

Back in the day, we tried to watch the TV series this was based on, starring Lee Majors. We gave up - there just weren't enough stunts. This movie did not have this problem, plus it had Emily Blunt.

Ape Man

We watched Monkey Man (2024) mainly for Dev Patel (in front of and behind the camera). But also because it looked like a John-Wick-era action classic.

Patel is a desperately poor man, living in an unspecified (?) Indian (?) city, sleeping on the floor with a dozen or so others. He orchestrates the theft of a rich woman's wallet, in a lovingly choreographed scene. The woman runs a high-class nightclub, and when he returns it, he asks only for a job as reward. His resume is his scarred hands, scars he claims to have gotten from working the dangerous jos no one else will take. He gets a chance.

At night, he fights in an underground MMA ring, wearing a gorilla mask (so he's really an ape man?). Here, he throws fights for cash, taking terrible beatings as a result. 

We slowly learn his story: He was raised in a peaceful village and taught by his mother the story of Hanuman, the monkey god. Then the corrupt system came and burned the village, killing his mother and scarring his hands.

His plan, then, is to infiltrate the nightclub to get close to the people who did this to him. He buys a gun from a dealer who asks: "You like John Wick?" Yeah, I'm thinking he likes John Wick.

It's a good plan, with some nice twists, but it fails. He makes it out and hides in a temple. The temple has roots in his old village - a temple of intersex and transsexual worshippers. They nurse him to health, then start him training. Table master Zakir Hussain teaches him to fight to an internal rhythm. These scenes might not be strictly necessary, but we love Ustad Zakir.

The final fight puts him up against the corrupt policeman who burned his town and the political swami who was behind it all.

So there it is, a movie about corruption, Hindu nationalism, trans rights, inequality and revenge. All in the height of modern action style. Some have said they think Patel bit off more than he could chew as first time director. I think he's done a great job, and I hope he continues. 

Tiny Jaws

I've wanted to see Piranha (1978) for a while now. It was Joe Dante's second movie for Roger Corman, with a John Sayles script. This is enticement enough, but I particularly want to see some of the sequels.

It starts with two teens hiking in the woods after dark. They hop a fence with a prominent No Trespassing sign around an old research facility. They decide to go skinnydipping in a pool, and ... the water turns red.

Later, on that same mountain, we find Keenan Wynne delivering groceries (booze) to surly backwoods drunk Bradford Dillman. Then we meet our other protagonist, Heather Menzies, a skiptracer who is assigned the task of finding those missing teens. When she gets to the mountain, she starts bossing Dillman around to get him to help her find the kids. 

They go up to the research facility and start looking around. There are jars full of all kinds of specimens. There is also a little Harryhausen-esque monster running around, but nobody really sees it. Turns out they had plans for it but no budget. Still a cute little bonus. 

They want to see if the kids wound up in the pool, so they find a lever and start draining it. But mad doctor Kevin McCarthy comes yelling at them. Then he steals their car, and drives it into a tree. 

Next morning, back at Dillman's place, McCarthy wakes up and tells them that the pool was filled with mutant piranhas, which were emptied into the river when they drained it. Oh no! What about the kid's summer camp below the dam?

Since they have no working car, they get on a raft and start floating down to alert the authorities. How many swimmers or boaters will get chomped before they get there? And will the mysterious government agents lead by Barbara Steele help or let everyone die?

First of all, this was campy fun. Menzies seems to be competent and pushy, but also sort of ditzy. Dillman seems like a depressed loser, so of course him and Menzies get together. We get a lot of Dante/Corman regulars, like Dick Miller as a resort developer (who doesn't want to close the beach on July 4? Not really, but...) and Paul Bartel as the head of the summer camp, who wants to make sure the little girl who's afraid of the water gets in and swims doggone it. 

But it's also pretty gory, with teens and children being chewed on left and right. No one seems to consider getting out of the water when the bitey things attack. What a concept!

Anyway, the sequel was supposed to be written and directed by James Cameron (who loves those wet movies), but it seems that the exec producer fired him and did a ton of reshoots/re-edits. Took out most of the camp and humor. I guess we'll watch that, if only to get to the latest sequel, Piranha 3DD. 

In conclusion, there is about one second's worth of piranha or piranha model in this movie. Mostly just paper cutout silhouettes. 

Sodium for Godzilla

I figured we should check out Shin Godzilla (2016) since we enjoyed Minus One so much. It was completely different in every way, except that it was a novel re-imagining of the concept. Also, very fun.

It starts with news reports of an abandoned yacht in Tokyo Bay, then a leak in a subway tunnel. There's an investigation, but it doesn't get very far until the monster starts showing up, in the bay and soon, the city. The monster looks very weird, not Godzilla-like at all. 

The governments response team is led by the unconventional but handsome Hiroki Hasegawa. America sends Japanese-American Satomi Ishihara as liaison (note: the actress doesn't do that well with the English dialog - just roll with it, she's great otherwise). She tells them about surpressed research on radioactive mutations, including the code name they gave a hypothetical monster: Godzilla. She lets them know that the monster would mutate further - and it does, looking more like her classic Godzilla self each time they encounter it. 

The fun part is that most of the movie is a bureaucratic procedural, showing how Japan's institutions would deal with a threat like this. There is a lot of responsibility shifting in the first part. There are solutions offered up by the lower levels, which are brought up to higher and higher levels, until the Prime Minister has to decide. Halfway through, he is killed (by Godzila's atomic breath), and replaced by the sleepy, unambitious Farm Minister. This man, though completely out of his league, makes the right decision at a crucial time.

You see, Ishihara-san has assembled a misfit ragtag team of outsiders and nerds, who plan to use blood coagulants in industrial amounts to freeze Godzilla. Now, he literally gives a speech about how they are all ragtag misfit outsiders who need to think outside the box. Heck, his character's name is "Rando". And the solution they come up with is coagulants? Clearly, this is a comedy, a spoof on bureaucracy and disaster movies. At home, we just kept saying "sodium" (ref. MST3K #817, Horror of Party Beach). 

So, like Godzilla Minus Zero is largely a post-war neo-realist film, this is a movie about how the rigid Japanese system deals with disasters and novel situations. And, of course, atomic monsters. 

Dune It Two

Well, we finally watched Dune: Part Two (2024). I say finally, because we have been getting it from the library for weeks, but never watching it, due to its length and our busy schedule. Also, we tried it once, and I fell asleep about an hour in. Ms. Spenser was not having that. So it took a while to clear some time early on an evening.

It starts right after Part One ended. Paul, Chani, Ladt Jessica and the crew are headed for a sietch. They are carrying the body of the Fremen that Paul had killed in a duel. A band of Harkonnen attack, using antigrav, but the Fremen fight them off. Chani thinks Paul was distracted, and she is right - he is having prophetic visions due to the spice he is ingesting. 

In the sietch, the Fremen want Lady Jessica to take the poisonous Water of Life and replace their aged Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother. After she takes the drink, they realize that she is pregnant - meaning that the child, Paul's sister, will be affected. I wonder how a Reverend Mother could have missed this. 

This middle section mainly deals with Paul joining the Fremen in fighting the Harkonnen, disrupting the spice harvest and falling in love with Chani. Of course, Chani still doubts that Paul is the Mahdi, considering it to be Bene Gesserit propaganda. Paul gets his names Usul and Maud'Dib in there, and meets up with old Gurney Halleck (Josh Brolin), who has been doing some guerilla spice harvesting on his own.

They are doing so well that Baron Harkonnen demotes Beast Raban, and replaces him with Feyd-Rautha (Austin Butler), who is even sicker and nastier. So Paul's group retreats to the deep South. There, Paul is convinced to drink the Water of Life, and see his fate, and the fate of the universe. 

It goes without saying that we loved this movie. It was beautifully made, with some great acting. That said, we also were a little ... not disappointed, but maybe amused by it. The battle tactics never quite made sense. They never discussed the uses and limits of shield technologies, so you see soldiers switch from lasers to swords for no special reasons. Slow-knife fights could be so cool on film, but not here. 

The romance between Paul and Chani never really took off for us, either. She was always too skeptical of him, so when he betrayed her in the end, it didn't quite work. 

The worm-riding scenes were pretty cool, but again, seemed to lack some logic. Ms. Spenser complained, "The segments open the wrong way!" Also, seeing the worms scooting around in the background emphasized their speed, but made them seem a little cartoonish - zoom!

Oh well, this is a hard story to adapt, particularly because the noble hero knows that he is destined to kill billions, and that's his best chance. Villeneuve and Chalamet do a pretty good job of showing how Paul sort of goes dead inside when he accepts this. Of course, this facet of the tale really develops in the next movie. I guess we'll have to wait a while. 

Just Came Dragon Inn

I finally found Dragon Inn (1967), recently released on Criterion. I'd seen the remakes/reimaginings already, Dragon Inn (1992) and Flying Swords of Dragon Gate (2011), but hadn't seen the original, King Hu version.

As usual, the Imperial eunuchs are causing trouble. Cao Shiao-qin is trying to kill off the family of a rival general, who have fled to the west. His intelligence agencies set up an ambush at the Dragon Inn, a low-down spot near the border. They meet up with martial artist Shih Chun, who wants to meet innkeeper Tsao Chien for some unknown purpose. Another pair of fighters show up, one of whom is referred to a handsome young man, although she's clearly a woman... And it turns out that the innkeeper is quite a martial artist, too. These four will protect the general's family against the secret police, and eventually, the eunuch himself.

There are some nice little set pieces, like when someone tries to stab Shih Chun when he's drinking. He grabs the point of the sword between his thumb and finger, with the winecup balancing on the flat of the blade. The assassin can't move it in any direction, and is thrown back into the wall when he flicks the sword away.

But, and I may be jaded by more modern styles, the fighting is good but pretty old fashioned. There's no wirework (I think), but a lot stunt tricks. Also, the Tartars aren't as cool as in Flying Swords. 

Still, it was great to see one of the old school wuxia movies. Hu made this in Taiwan, after making Come Drink with Me for the Shaw Brothers in Hong Kong. I think I liked Drink, better, but I'd watch more of these if I find them. 

Killer Content

This entry is about one of my favorite movies: Once More, My Darling (1949). Ms. Spenser and I taped it off of AMC, back in the eighties or nineties or whenever we recorded VHS tapes of cable channels, and AMC was a movie channel.

We watched it together many times over the years. I found myself daydreaming about the movie on lunch breaks or when out walking. I had things to say about Ann Blyth - so I started a blog as was the fashion of the time. But I don't think I've really said much about Ann Blyth on it.

Then let's talk about Robert Montgomery. who directed this, as well as starring. He plays Collier Laing, a very minor actor from a rich family of lawyers. He is perfect in every way and extremely handsome (Maybe he wrote this too). His mother, Jame Cowl, wants him to give up acting (and running around with women), take up law and settle down. But before he has to make up his mind, he gets a telegram from the government. He's been drafted - re-activated.

You're going to have to take this next part on faith. It's the plot of the movie. You see, a notorious jewel thief has disappeared, but left a necklace with his girl. To flush out the thief, they want to make him jealous, which means Montgomery has been drafted to seduce the girl.

And the girl is Ann Blyth.

When he first meets her, he doesn't recognize her as his assignment. She is dressed in tennis shorts, a tee shirt that says "KILLER", big sun glasses and a ball cap. She tells him right away that he is a very attractive man. He basically tells her, go away kid. But once he realizes it's her, he starts the seduction - except that she has already fallen for him, and wants him all to herself.

Before their first date, she wants to meet his mother, who's hosting a party for a few legal sorts. She shows up in her pajamas (she snuck out of bed), doused in perfume. The maid, Lillian Randolph, says she could wear those pajamas to the races, and inhales the perfume deeply (while everyone else is gagging on it). See, it's always the black actors in the tiny roles who know what's what. 

Her scene at the party is brilliant. She is socially correct, doesn't want to intrude, remembers all the guests names, and speaks quite freely about love at first sight, "youth calling to youth", and her attraction to Cowl's son.

But by the next day, it seems like she wants to get married. Immediately, in Las Vegas.

Blyth is wonderful here. Of course, she's beautiful, a sort of elfin beauty, with a high forehead, almond eyes and a tiny nose and chin. But the way she plays Killer! As she tells Montgomery, she's nineteen years old, American, her friends tell her she isn't bad looking, and as for money, she's rolling in it. She's nearly perfect and she is going to get him if it's the last thing she does.

Montgomery is good too, but he's 45 and looks it, or worse. Blyth is 24 and having no trouble playing 19. The idea that teenagers would go nuts over him might have worked for Cary Grant, but for him ... well, just suspend disbelief. Anyway, he's directing so of course.

In conclusion, Blyth is playing a very particular type of teenaged girl, a very serious, intelligent girl who thinks she's sophisticated and adult, who's just as ditzy as any bobbysoxer in her own way. We don't see it that often. 

Bone Voyage

For the first horror movie of spook season, we picked The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023). It's based on the voyage that Dracula took to England. SPOILER - Everyone on the ship dies. 

It starts with a set of coffins boxes being loaded on the Demeter in some Eastern port. The quartermaster Wojcek (Daniel Dastmalchian) hires a band of laborers for the voyage. An educated black man, Corey Hawkins, tries to get a place, but they pick a stronger looking man. However, when he sees the dragon labels on the boxes, he bails, and Hawkins gets to go onboard.

One of the boxes broke open in moving, and after they are underweigh, Hawkins goes to investigate. He finds a comatose girl, Aisling Franciosi, in a pile of dirt. He starts giving her transfusions to see if he can save her. Most of the crew is against the idea of a woman on board, but the captain won't put her off, if Hawkins takes repsonsibility.

He soon has her awake, and she tells them that there is a horrible monster aboard, and they all need to get out!

Soon, all hell breaks loose. The animals are all killed, then the ship's dog, then the captain's cute little son. Good riddance. Through all of this, Hawkins tries to find a scientific explanation. And if you think Franciosi can give them some advice in killing the monster, she says if they knew how to kill the monster, they would have killed it centuries ago. 

This is the part people call "Alien on a boat". We know there were no survivors - no live survivors, ecept the rats. So we watch people getting picked off one by one. Sadly, this is hard to watch, because they all die so dumb. For instance, they figure out that he needs to be in his coffin by day. Then they ignore that, even after seeing several of the bitten go up in flames in the sun. 

So, in spite of a good idea and best intentions, this wasn't thatgood. Partly the lack of tension - everyone dies - except the undead. Then, the stupidness. Maybe the monster could have been more effective, but it wasn't bad, and you got to see a lot of. We liked Hawkins, Franciosi, and Dastmalchian. I guess it's worth watching, in Spooktober, anyway.

Girl Fighters

For the last action double-bill of my solo viewing weekend, I went with the trieds and true female-lead type: Sri Asih (2022) and Becky (2020).

Shri Asih is a bit of an oddball - a comic superhero movie, but based on an Indonesian comic. It starts with a tourist couple visiting an Indonesian volcano (Mt. Toba?). The volcano explodes, and more than that, we see an evil face in the ash cloud. The couple flee, but are killed in a car crash. She is pregnant, and manages to give birth before she dies.

In the orphanage, the daughter is a strong willed girl. She has a friend who is a mild and bullied boy - and she always fights for him. But she is adopted by a nice woman, who starts training her in fighting arts. Now grown, she is played by Pevita Pierce. She is a strong fighter, but has trouble controlling her anger. 

When she meets up with her friend from the orphanage, she finds him as part of a semi-underground group trying to protect his apartment complex from gangs and corporate goons, who want to tear it down and [some corporate plot I don't really remember]. So she becomes their defender.

But then she learns that she is part of an ancient race of heroes with super-powers (good!) but that the evil volcano demon is trying to possess her, for evil (bad). To avoid this, she'll have to learn to control her temper. 

The action here is very much sub-Iko Uwais. But it's still a lot of fun. 

I wanted to watch Becky because I had seen some good reviews of its sequel, Wrath of Becky. It's about a defiant teen girl, Lulu Wilson, who has recently lost her mother. Her father, Joel McHale, is taking her to their lake house to grieve (good), but has also invited his new girlfriend, Amanda Brugel and her young son (bad - especially because they announce that they are getting married).

While she is out in her playhouse/treehouse brooding, a small gang of White Supremicists invade the house. Although McHale and Brugel try to hide the fact that there is one other member of their group, the Nazis figure it out and send one of the crew out to get her. She is ready for him, and kills him with a broken ruler and a bundle of sharp colored pencils. 

That's sort of what this movie is about - a teen girl Home-Aloning a bunch of Nazis. It's pretty brutal - a dog gets killed, McHale gets killed, etc. The lead Nazi is played by, of all people, Kevin James, and not in a funny way at all. His enforcer, Robert Maillet (pro wrestler Kurgan), is pretty scary, but in the end, a little more sympathetic.

But it's all based on Wilson feeling that she has nothing to lose, especially after her father is killed. The gang offers to let her go in the custody of her new stepmom, and she essentially goes fuck that, never liked the bitch (Brugel is not a bitch, she is very understanding, but you know how girls are).

However, I felt the movie spent too much time on the teen angst, not enough on the Nazi-killing. The kills are all right (lawn mower to the head, for ex), but they just take too long to get to. I think I would have preferred something campier and more off-the-wall. I think I'll skip the sequel.

So this long weekend was a bit more successful than the last. I took fewer chances, went with more crowd-pleasers (me, I'm the crowd). Ms. Spenser even caught part of Equalizer 2, and thought she might enjoy it. Well done, me. 

One-Man Armies

The next pair of movies I watched on my batchelor weekend were assassin movies, both sequels for no special reasons.

I've been aware of Hitman: Agent 47 (2015) for a while, as well as being aware of the widespread opinion that it isn't very good. It stars Rupert Friend as the eponymous hitman. He's an Agent - a gene modified superkiller with heightened strength and reflexes, and diminished conscience and introspection. He s supposed to track down Hannah Ware, daughter of the scientist who developed the agents. He has gone underground, and this is a plot to get him back. 

It turns out that Zachary Quinto is a more advanced agent, with subcutaneous armor, making him bulletproof. Friend goes over to Ware's side against Quinto. Fortunately, it turns out that Ware is the most advanced Agent of all.

I actually quite liked this - mostly for image of Friend in a sharp suit, skinhead haircut, jug ears and no expression. The action is sort of John Wick adjacent (not as good, but what is?), and fun. I never played the video game this is based on, and I guess that's good. I also had no idea that there was an earlier Hitman (2007) movie, which is also supposed to be bad. But I'll watch it if I come across it. 

I picked The Equalizer 2 (2018) because I've given up looking for part one. Is it really bad? I guess it's on Paramount+, so next time we want to stream Star Trek, I'll check it out. Anyway, Denzel Washington is the Equalizer, a Boston Lyft driver who sometimes helps the people he drives for. When some douchebags load an obviously drugged woman into his car, he takes her to the hospital, then comes back and beats the douchebags up. He also gives a black teen a job cleaning and repainting the wall outside his apartment.

But the real plot is about Pedro Pascal, who was in DIA with Washington, but is now running a kill-for-hire company. Thwarting them involves a little globe-trotting and braving a hurricane on the North Shore. 

I liked the action, and of course Denzel is always a treat. The Boston locations were fun too, for an old Masshole. I wasn't that thrilled by the various subplots, although some of them did pay off. 

I guess this was originally a TV show, which I didn't see, and later another TV show (starring Queen Latifah!), which same. The latest entry is The Equalizer 3, which features Washngton coming out of retirement for one last job. I'm looking forward to that. 

Exotic Adventure

Ms. Spenser was off for the weekend, so I tried another experiment in watching lots of maybe-not-so-great movies. I'll be blogging them in pairs, matched thematically. First, old-fashioned exotic adventure.

Secret of the Incas (1954) is known mostly as the movie where Charlton Heston acts as the prototype for Indiana Jones. Harry Steele (Heston) wears a beat-up leather jacket and fedora, acting as a tour guide and amateur gigolo in Cuzco. He picks out middle-aged Glenda Farrell (or she picks him out) as his latest conquest. 

But is real passion is treasure hunting. He's looking for clues to the hiding place of the great Inca gold sunburst, working with local scuzzball Thomas Mitchell (Uncle Billy from It's a Wonderful Life). Uncle Billy tells him of a new woman coming to town on a truck - that means she doesn't have any papers.

She turns out to be Nicole Maury, a Romanian refugee who is desperate to get to America. Since she doesn't have any money, you know how she's been paying her way. When Farrell comments that Heston is "changing horses in mid-stream", he grins at her and says, "Wouldn't you?" He is a cad.

The last act takes place in Machu Picchu, where we meet archeologist Robert Young, who is also taken with Maury. So Heston will have to steal the sunburst from under their noses. He knows where it is based on the old "light from a window reflected of the shiny thing placed in the secret spot" that Dr. Jones popularized. 

The movie also features vocal acrobat Yma Sumac both as a native servant and as singer on the soundtrack. That, plus the Cuzco and Machu Picchu locations would make this a great watch. But Heston is maybe too much of a heel to make it completely enjoyable.

The Indian Tomb (1959) is a Fritz Lang film, based on a book by his wife, Thea von Harbou. It is the sequel to Tigers of Enchnapur, which I couldn't find easily, so I skipped it. Prince Ramigani (Rene Deltgen) is in love with temple dancer Seetha (Debra Paget), who has run away with German engineer Paul Hubschmid. Deltgen wants him dead and her returned. 

While they are on the run, Deltgen's sister and her brother, another German engineer are brought in to build a tomb for the prince's lost love. When he finds out that she's not dead, just lost, and that she hates him, he wants out. But they are held captive.

The movie is filmed in India, including the water palace Jal Mahal. It's full of exotic locales and characters, but also (like Incas) a lot of brown face makeup. There are some tigers, but no tiger attacks (maybe in part 1?). Really, the biggest draw is Paget's extended dance sequence, where her costume is a strapless, backless bra and open-sided bikini. And it's not because she's a fabulous dancer. 

Both of these were more fun that I would have guessed, which is good enough for a bachelor's weekend.

Prog-Rock Destroyer

Jonah Ray Rodrigues is back in another horror flick: Destroy All Neighbors (2024).

He plays a prog-rock musician who is toiling over a planned record in the bedroom studio of his crappy apartment. but his loud new neighbor is destroying his concentration, playing EDM, banging on the walls and screaming. Rodrigues doesn't want a confrontation, but he finally pounds (taps) on the wall. His neighbor shuts up, but appears at the door - we see him through the peephole. He's a hideous troll-like old man, who hawks a loogie on the door. Under all the makeup, he's played by Alex Winter.

Jonah calls the police, but when they show up they find the neighbor having tea with Jonah's girlfriend. He has come over to apologize, and is charming to everyone. He promises to keep the music down, but behind everyone's back, gives Jonah the throat cutting gesture.

Jonah's day job is as studio engineer. He gets harassed in the parking lot by a drunk, and harassed in the studio by the musician he's working with, who gets him fired. When he comes home to Winter blasting the EDM, he finally works up the nerve to go over and confront him. Winter mocks him, tries to get him to dance, tries to get him to fight, and in the confusion, beheads himself. Cue Jonah going to YouTube - "How to get rid of a body." He winds up with a dismembered corpse, who unfortunately comes to life.

And this isn't the last body he will wind up with - all of them mysteriously re-animated. 

Rodrigues is kind of playing his usual nerdy character, but a little more spineless, a little less self-aware. He is obsessed with a prog-rock Youtube bass player, who advises that if people like and understand your music, you're doing it wrong. He has nothing but contempt and pity for anything non-prog. It's a little frustrating at first, because he's so unlikable, but then the killing starts. 

Not the scariest or funniest horror-comedy we've seen, but a fun low-budget B-movie. 

Who You Gonna Call This Time?

We didn't watch Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024) because we're completists, or to make fun of it. We kind of liked Afterlife, and we kind of liked this one.

So the whole kid Ghostbusters family has moved to New York, to the old fire station. There are ghosts to be busted, and they mount up ECTO-1 pretty early on. But William Atherton, the EPA guy from the first movie, is now mayor of New York, and he wants these Ghostbusters shut down! Especially because McKenna Grace, on gunner seat, is fourteen, clearly underaged. So her mom, Carrie Coon, drops her from the team. Paul Rudd, not her dad, just mom's boyfriend, is sympathetic, but supports Coon.

While everyone is out on a bust, she sulks in Central Park, and sits down at a chess board. Sixteen-year-old ghost Emily Alyn Lind shows up to insult her and beat her at chess. Grace clearly becomes infatuated. This live/dead underaged lesbian romance drives the plot.

The original Ghostbusters are also on the job: Ernie Hudson is a philanthropist businessman who funds the operation. Bill Murray still runs a curio shop. And Dan Akroyd, with the help of Podcast (Logan Kim), collects possibly dangerous magical objects. Kumail Nanjiani sells them an orb he got from his deceased mother. With the help of Patton Oswalt, they determine it's an... Oh, never mind. It's a ghost McGuffin.

And of course, the ectotrap still hasn't been emptied, and is getting kind of overstuffed. Maybe Atherton was right. 

I'll say right off that I didn't love the whole thing with Paul Rudd trying to not try to be a dad to Coons' kids - he's still just a boyfriend. Probably pretty relatable to many, but kind of boring. I loved seeing Ernie Hudson getting some respect and some screen time. And all the running around, chasing ghosts, pursuing secrets, etc., while not really worth writing about was fun to watch. And of course, it was great to see Akroyd and Murray, and new guys Nanjiani and Oswalt, doing their stuff. 

Jason Reitman passed the director's role to Gil Kenan, and there were no more Ramis appearances. So I think this franchise can go on as long as people keep watching. I expect we will. 

Stormy

Ms. Spenser asked me to put on Creation of the Gods: Kingdom of Storms (2023). Not because she wanted to watch it - she just wanted something not too distracting to put on in the background while she worked. It's one of those amazing tales of the ancient Chinese empires. Because it isn't in English (subs over dubs!), it doesn't distract her much.

It is set in the Shang dynasty, one of the oldest. It starts with Prince Fei Xiang leading an army against a rebel king. One of the rebel's sons, who has been a hostage of the emperor, pleads with him to surrender, but is met with arrows. To show his dedication to the empire, he attempts to kill himself in front of his rebel father. But Fie Xiang has to help him through it, with foster-fatherly care. 

It seems that choosing between loyalty to family versus loyalty to the empire will be a big theme here. 

The rest of the movie is a little vague in my mind. Kings and hostages are killed, and war and suffering fill the land. Some immortals come from the Kunlun paradise, including a warrior, a sage and a little kid who is surrounded by a decorative ribbon, which he can also use a weapon. There is a seductive fox demon. There is palace intrigue, prophecies and weighty philosophical issues.  It's all a bit hazy.

That's partly because I was just reveling in the cool sets and costumes. Everything is richly ornamented and beautifully filmed. Even Ms. Spenser looked up now and then and said she might want to actually watch this sometime.

Since it's the first of a planned trilogy, we might get to see more. 

Minus Nothing

After the latest American kaiju offering, we were psyched for Godzilla Minus One (2023). It's a Japanese mid-budget movie with a lot of buzz. It was hard to get to see for a while in the US, presumably to give the domestic product a chance.

It starts during WWII. A kamikaze plane makes an emergency landing on a Pacific island. Munetaka Aoki, the head mechanic, figures that the pilot, Ryunosuke Kamiki, is faking a mechanical issue to get out of his mission. He tacitly approves. But when a giant lizard attacks the island, Kamiki has a chance to use his plane's machine on the monster, but freezes. When the fight is over, only Kamiki and Aoki are still alive, and Aoki blames Kamiki.

When the war is over, Kamiki goes home to Tokyo. He finds only rubble where is old house was. His parents are dead. A woman who was his neighbor gives him the news, then remembers he was supposed to be a kamikaze pilot. Now she blames him for not doing his duty and dying in battle to protect Japan. 

He runs into a young woman, Minami Hanabe, with a baby. He tries to get rid of them, but she follows him back to his spot in the ruins, and refuses to leave. She knows he can't leave them to die. The hostile neighbor eventually comes by to show them how to take care of the baby, both scornfully and tenderly. 

He gets a job clearing mines from the harbor. It pays well because of the danger. His crewmates include naval scientist and a man too young to have fought in the war. When he says he wished it lasted longer so that he could have fought, Kamiki sees red. But when Godzilla shows up again, now much bigger and with atomic heat breath, they are going to have to help take him down.

The first part of the movie is almost a simple Japanese post-war drama, with the Godzilla attack as just one other terrible thing along with the war, the fire-bombing of Tokyo and everything. Kamiki suffers from PTSD and survivor's guilt. Although people keep telling him to come back alive, when he does he is ashamed. He wants to help Hanabe and the baby, although he isn't in love with Hanabe, and the baby isn't his, or even hers. He's mostly good at his job, but gets very twitchy when faced with danger. 

The last part is almost all a modern action movie attack on Godzilla. Here, Godzilla is a horrifying force of nature, earthquake and volcano combined. But our scientist has a plan to stop him. Kamiki will fly a prototype jet fighter to distract or lure the monster. He even gets the mechanic Aoki to help - and so he can partially atone. He doesn't tell the scientist, but they plan for him to kamikaze into Godzilla if nothing else works. 

And I'll put in a SPOILER. Japan has finally gotten around to building ejector seats into their planes. He does come back alive.

The combination of a sensitive post-war drama and action monster movie is really incongruous. Post-war Tokyo is filmed really well, and so are the monster scenes, especially at sea. There's a black-and-white version, and we really want to see that too.

Gentlemen Don't Open Each Other's Mail

I was looking forward to The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024) as a classic stupid action movie. But was it stupid enough or too stupid?

It starts with two men in a sailboat being stopped by Nazis. Beefy Henry Cavill and beefier Alan Ritchson claim to be Swedes on a sailing holiday. When the Nazis start to get heavy, they start goofing. "I'll give you 100 francs to kill that man." "Oh, no, don't kill me! I've been a naughty boy." Just being silly drunks, with broad Swedish accents. But when the Nazis discover Henry Golding below decks, gunfire breaks out, ending with all Nazis aboard dead. That would leave the Nazis on the cruiser nearby, but diver and demo expert Hero Fiennes Tiffin has just gotten back from putting a bomb on the side. So far, so successful.

Back in England, we see Cavill getting their assignment from Cary Elwes and Winston Churchill, Rory Kinnear. They are to go to the African island of Fernando Po, and destroy the ship the Nazis are using to supply their subs. They will be aided by sexy Eiza Gonzalez and Babs Olusanmokun, who runs a popular nightclub and gambling den in Casablanca. 

First, they need their buddy Alex Pettyfer, who is being held by the Nazis on a neighboring island. With 60 soldiers guarding him, that will only be about 15 a piece for our gang. Easy peasy.

You see, these guys are hard core. Ritchson, in particular, plays a Danish wildman, skilled at hunting and tracking, and killing silently with bow. It's funny seeing someone who's so buff that he makes Cavill seem slender. And they are loosely based on real people, the early secret agents who inspired Ian Fleming to write James Bond. In fact, Fleming himself is present, played by Freddie Fox. 

But sadly, movie is never as good as the goofball set piece at the beginning. They pretend to be Swedish sailors again when when an Allied ship stops them, but they just cop to being English right away. Since this is directed by Guy Ritchie, we hoped for more humor.

But Ms. Spenser, who is usually neutral on action movies, did ask to see that first scene again when we finished. Since they used it in the trailer, I assume they knew what they had.

X = ?

In preperation for watching Godzilla × Kong: The New Empire (2024), I rewatched Kong: Skull Island. It's funny how far the franchise has moved. K:SI is, among other things, a re-imagining of the King Kong story as an Apocalypse Now flavored Vietnam meditation. The later movies, much less.

GxK catches us up with the state of the monsters. Godzilla stomped a bit of Rome, but is curled up asleep like a cat in the Colosseum. Deep beneath the Earth, Kong is feeling a bit melancholy - and has a bad toothache. In the Hollow Earth observation station, scientist Rebecca Hall calls in rogue veterinarian "Trapper", Dan Stevens. He's the type to swing from a copter to lasso the infected fang and yank it out. Sort of an Indiana Jones type, or maybe a parody thereof. It's hard to tell if he's comic relief or not. 

But scientists are picking up an odd signal, and so is Kaylee Hottle, the deaf girl who is the last of the Iwi tribe of Skull Island. So, with the help of conspiracy podcaster Brian Tyree Henry, they head to the underworld to see what's what.

Among other things, Kong picks up a little friend, a mini-Kong. Although Kong is the last of his species, there are some other giant apes around (these guys look more like orangutans). They are enslaved by an evil king ape, and also kept locked up in a special area of the Hollow Earth, along with a tribe of Iwi. Hottle finds out that her new family have been broadcasting a warning, one that will take Kong and maybe even Godzilla as well, to combat.

Unlike Skull Island, this is a very modern movie. Lots of exposition is done via cable news, Henry's modern comic relief, etc. It's nice to see Mothra brought in to mediate between Kong and Godzilla, and Hottle is a lovely presence. Mini-Kong is sort of mixed - Kong tries to treat him as a protege, but he's a little shit (of a giant ape). I guess he had a lot of trauma. 

In connclusion, I'd say not enough Godzilla, Kong was too mopey, and Mini-Kong too much of a brat. When do we get Godzuki?

Also, did I miss the movie where Godzilla defeated Mecha-Godzilla? Or did it just run off of my mind like water off a duck?

Dislodged

Ms. Spenser asked for a spooky movie, and I had The Lodgers (2017) in one of my watchlists. It seemed perfect: a spooky house, old-timey setting, some mysterious monsters... Well.

Twins Charlotte Vega and Bill Milner live alone in an old run-down mansion. We learn through a nursery rhyme that the three rules of their lives are: Never leave the house after midnight, never admit a stranger to the house, and never leave each other alone. But Vega is clearly chafing at these restrictions. She stays out late and gets chased home by vague creatures. Milner is more timid, also pale, neurotic and neurasthenic. He begs Vega to be careful, to follow the rules, and not leave him alone.

When Vega goes into town, the rough men there bully her, but one-legged war veteran Eugene Simon comes to save her, and they begin to become close. She begins to hope that he will take her away from the cursed house. 

Since we find out early on that their parents were twins as well, and killed themselves, it's pretty easy to guess the nature of the curse. 

The monsters, or "lodgers" who enforce the curse are a little less clear. There is a bit of oily fluid that drips upwards, and some glimpses of bony monsters. I don't actually see them lodging much, but maybe I just don't get it.

Also, I fell asleep. This happens a lot, so it's really no judgement on the movie. But it did move pretty slow. Ms. Spenser reported that the ending was icky and disgusting, and not in a good way. It did have a nice atmosphere of corruption, but that was about it. big disappointment. 

Black Comedy

The first I heard about The Blackening (2022) was the tagline: "We can't all die first". That was all I needed to convince me.

It starts with a young black couple coming to a secluded house in Marin (according to the travel montage). They are preparing for a Juneteenth reunion with their college friends group. In the (ominously locked, then unlocked) game room, they find a game called "The Blackening". It features a blackface Sambo caricature that asks black trivia questions. When the guy answers one wrong, he gets a crossbow bolt through the neck. The woman tries to escape, but is pulled back.

Then we meet the rest of the crew driving up. DeWayne Perkins, a typical gay best friend, is driving two of his friends Grace Byers and Antoinette Robinson, who don't want him to know they've invited Byers oft-cheating boyfriend. When Perkins starts asking, "Who all's going to be there?", I get it. Comic Brandi Brown does a bit about always asking this before going to any party or gathering.

X Mayo is driving up separately and meets a very geeky fellow student Jermaine Fowler at a country store. His car broke down, and Mayo very reluctantly drive him up. When they all arrive, they find Melvin Gregg being interrogated by a white park ranger, who didn't expect to see black people in these parts. He came up with Byers' ex(?)-boyfriend, Sinqua Walls.

They settle into house (cabin in the woods), and start the party with some drinks, some smokes, maybe a molly or two, and some cut-throat Spades. Then they find the game room, and The Blackening game. 

The movie is partly based on horror/black horror tropes - Black guy dies first, never split up, don't go down in the basement, etc. They do reluctantly split up, amd one group meets the white ranger. When they tell him they split up, he says, "But you're black!". The Blackening's trivia questions are tests of basic black knowledge: name 25 black inventions, sing all the verses of the Black National Anthem, name the 5 black actors who appeared on Friends. (The correct answer to the last is "I don't watch that white shit.")

But it's also based on the range of black characters: gay friend, successful businesswoman, slightly dangerous bad boy, party girl, African from Africa, and even a geeky loser who voted for Trump. The message is: There's many ways to be black. And none of them are safe from the police.

Maybe I liked this because it was pretty tame, both in scares and racial politics. I got most of the jokes, although I probably missed a bunch too, due to whiteness. Any way, I picked up my copy at the local library book (and DVD) sale, and am proud to have it in my collection 

Floppy Haired Emo Horror

The horror-fest continues! We had an interesting double bill: Insidious: The Red Door (2022) and Suitable Flesh (2023).

I:TRD is the fifth Insidious movie, and it is suppposed to be the final entry (until the next one). It goes back to the story of Patrick Wilson and his son. It starts with them being hypnotized to forget the trauma of those movies, and the whole Further thing. It catches up with the family ten years later, at the funeral for Wilson's mom. He is divorced Rose Byrne, and his son has grown up to be Ty Simpkins, an emo arty type going to college in the next week. He and Wilson don't get along, mostly because Wilson has been physically absent and mentally vacant for a long time. But he does drive him to college.

At college, Wilson encourages his son to join a frat, and finds out that he has been assigned a black woman roommate, a goofy math major played by Sinclair Daniel. She's fun. 

Simpkins' art classes are pretty intense, with cult-leader type Hiam Abbass presiding. To get them to dig deep for creativity, she uses something like a hypnotic induction, which causes him to see and paint "The Red Door", which he must close. To get him to lighten up, Daniel drags him to the frat party, which is pretty funny. It includes frat president Nick the Prick in a diaper talking about letting men be men, excessive drinking etc. After agreeing this is lame, Daniel gets him to go upstairs to look through everyone's shit. But in one room, Simpkins sees a puking ghost, probably of a student who died in the frat from alcohol poisoning. 

So we have Simpkins seeing ghosts, astral projecting (on purpose), and having visions of the ghost world intruding on daily life (while also goofing around with Daniel). Meanwhile, Wilson is only trying to figure out his problems a little bit. He does look up a YouTube made by Specs and Tucker introducing Elise (the best part of these movies, killed off too soon). That's it for them.

It wasn't very good, although I did like Daniel. The only sane one in the movie, I guess. But note the following: floppy haired emo boy, astral projection, hypnotism...

It starts in the psychiatric ward of Miskatonic University. Barbara Crampton is visiting Heather Graham, who is confined to a padded cell. She seems to have killed someone, mangled him beyond recognition. But Crampton is a friend, and wants to know the story...

Graham was a psychiatrist, happy with her life. (By the way, she wrote a book on astral projection.) One day, a young man comes in, shaking with fear. Now, we were positive this was Ty Simpkins, but it turns out he is just the same type (floppy haired emo) and actually Judah Lewis. It turns out he is afraid that his father is trying to take over his life. Graham treats this as a normal abuse situation, but then Lewis gets a call from his father. He has some kind of seizure, and comes to with a completely diffferent personality. He's no longer afraid, cocky and sarcastic. He just leaves.

Graham goes home to her handsome, concerned husband, Jonathan Schaech. That night, when they make love, she imagines he is Lewis. This gets deep under her skin, and she goes to his address, where she finds Lewis' father, Bruce Davidson. He's a gross, very sick man, who almost dies in front of her until she puts his pills in his mouth. 

The next time she meets Lewis, he brings her home and tries to convince her to help him kill Davidson. The deal is, if he chants a spell, it causes a body swap. The third time her does this to you, it's permanent. He wants Lewis' young, healthy body. Lewis wants to kill him, and destroy his brain to stop this. But before he can, there is another body swap. Since Graham still doesn't get it, Lewis (with his father's mind in his body) manages to seduce her. During sex, he swaps bodies with her, and then back.

It gets wilder from there. 

Director Joe Lynch based the movie on an H.P Lovecraft story, and also on the schlocky movies Stuart Gordon made in the 80s. These were also based on Lovecraft, and starred Crampton. Since I haven't seen them, I don't know how close they are. But it was definitely creepy, gory and sexy - maybe a little too much sexy for my taste. But overall, a good horror. And it was fun seeing the modern Miskatonic U. campus.

But it was funny getting two movies, very different, with so many points of congruence. What a coincidence. OR WAS IT?

Hispanic Panic

It's hard to pass up a movie called Satanic Hispanics (2022). I didn't have much information about it other than that it was a Hispanic horror anthology. (Note: I got this from the library, where my phone reception is very poor, so no checking Rotten Tomatoes, etc). But it seemed likely. 

It starts with a massacre scene - a house full of people killed in various bloody ways. There is one survivor, Efren Ramirez. The police take him in for questioning, and he says he'll explain it all, but he has to be out of there in 90 minutes, or something bad will happen. He gives some random explanations, but decides to tell them a story.

This story takes place in a house in Argentina, where a young man, Demian Salomon, is waving his phone flashlight to show a pizza delivery guy something. But he doesn't see it. Salomon turns out to be a professional Rubik's Cuber, living in his deceased grandmother's house. But there is something there that he can only see if he waves the lights in the proper sequence. He brings in a psychic podcaster who doesn't see anything at first, then runs out. And that's before the thing appears in ordinary light.

This story doesn't do much for the police. So he tells another about a Halloween party at a bar, where a real vampire, Hemky Madera, has drained the whole crew. But he gets a phone call from his vampire girlfriend, Patricia Velasquez, reminding him about Daylight Savings Time, and that he needs to get home in a hurry. Since he can't turn into a bat like he used to, he needs a ride. This section is pretty What We Do In the Shadows, and also pretty funny.

The next story takes place in Mexico. Ari Gallegos has been working with the CIA to take down a politician. Now he is being chased by nahuales - traditional shapeshifters. This section is dead serious, and sort of shows an imagined ritual attack, with only a touch of actual magic. 

The last section features, surprise! Jonah Ray, from MST3K! What's he doing here - oh, yeah, he's credited as Jonah Ray Rodriques. He is meeting his ex, Danielle Chaves, at a Mexican restaurant to talk about their trip to Cuba. It seems that they and a group of friends recorded a ritual that she shouldn't have, and they are the last two left alive. So one of them must be possessed by nZambi Mpungu, king of the zombies. The only thing that can kill this creature is - the Hammer of Zanzibar. This section is both gory and hilarious, especially the story of the hammer.

After all this, the police still don't believe that Ramirez must be released, even though he's managed to fritter away his 90 minutes with pointless stories. Then, what he feared shows up.

Each of these stories have different directors and different styles, but tie together very well. I was surprised by how much humor there was - most of these anthology stories have one comic section. This one has two out of four (plus the frame story). We loved the vampire story, even if it was a bit familiar. The nahual story wasn't the strongest for us, probably because it leans on a myth that we weren't familiar with. Jonah Ray's was probably the most fun, but really, all of these are strong. We recommend. 

Lake House

Continuing with Ms. Spenser's early Halloween Spooktacular, we watched What Lies Beneath (2000). Directed by Robert Zemekis, script by Glark Greg (!) and starring Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer, it looked like it couldn't miss. But for some reason, Amazon Prime wanted to know if we wanted to watch it again - but we were sure we'd never seen it before. 

It starts with Pfeiffer and Harrison sending their daughter off to Princeton. That leaves them in their beautiful lakeside home in Vermont. Harrison is a researcher at a local college, and Pfeiffer looks after the house and lovely gardens. There is a brief scene, showing pictures and news articles hinting at problems in the past - death of a father, car crash, but we were talking over it, trying to remember if we'd seen this before. 

Pfeiffer is all alone in her empty nest, and begins getting a little jumpy. Small things, like doors that don't stay closed, start to unnerve her. The new neighbors are a little creepy - loud sex at night, pitiful crying during the day. It looks like a Rear Window situation, but that turns out to be a red herring. The real problem is closer to home.

This movie has a lot going for it. Zemekis knows how to bring the suspense, and isn't above a little flashy camera work. The script has a nice slow burn and then a wild last act. Pfeiffer does some great acting, and Harrison... well, let's say he fades into the background when he needs to. So I'm not sure why we didn't remember seeing this before. I'm sure we did; I remembered tiny bits here and there. Ms. S didn't remember a thing, so maybe I saw it by myself? 

Anyway, the whole thing didn't really do it for us. Maybe we're immune to the sexiness of Pfeiffer and Harrison in a hot marriage. Maybe the Rear Window fake-out turned us off. Oh well, since I've now blogged it, I'm pretty sure we won't get forget and watch it again.

The New Black

As I mentioned, Halloween season is already starting. Ms. B requested The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015), based on a recommendation from her usual crew of horror writers. I've had it on my radar since Rod Heath's review, so we gave it a try.

It is set in a conservative Catholic girl's school. It's the last day before winter break, and Keirnan Shipka has a dream that her parent's have died in a car crash. In waking life, as all the parents come and go, she is left behind, along with Lucy Boynton, who claims that she told her parent's to come get her the next day by mistake. Shipka is an odd detached girl, who wants the priest who runs the school to come to her recital that day. But he has to go away for a convention, and he reminds her that, ha ha, she "can't live here."

So the two girls will be left in the school overnight with two old nuns.

Meanwhile, Boynton sneaks out of the school to go driving with a boy. When they get back, it seems that she is breaking up with him because she is pregnant. She is clearly a wild child, not like the shy, proper and weird Shipka. Who, by the way, still hasn't heard from her parents. But she does hear strange noises and maybe voices. 

These stories are intertwined with a third girl, Emma Roberts. She is shivering in a cold bus stop out, and James Remar and his wife stop to pick her up. She resembles Shipka enough so I thought she might be the same character, maybe running away from the school. But she seems to be getting closer. Remar does everything he can to avoid looking creepy, and still looks creepy. It turns out that his daughter was killed near the school, and so he wants to help other young women. His wife doesn't want anything to do with this.

Most of this movie is slow and elliptical. There are enough time slips and cutting between characters to keep you off balance a lot of the time. We liked this atmospheric part pretty well. However, in the last act (SPOILER), it becomes a demonic possession slasher. There is even a scene with the killer standing with a dripping knife. 

The movie was written and directed by Osgood Perkins, Tony Perkins' son. He's obviously got a good background in horror. But nobody dies in a shower.

In conclusion, who, exactly, was the blackcoat?

Late Night Watch

Ms. Spenser wanted to get a jump on the Halloween season early, or at least wanted to watch Ghostwatch (1992). In fact, she got a Shudder (trial) subscription to see it. It was originally broadcast in 1992 on British TV, as if it was an unscripted look at the supernatural, War of the World style. It was presented by the usual crew of British presenters, Michael Parkinson in the studio, Mike Smith taking phone-ins, and his wife in the field at a haunted house. Also, presenting outside the house was Craig Charles (Red Dwarf) who says inappropriate things, because that's why you hire Craig Charles. 

The haunted house in question is inhabited by a single mother, and two girls, The younger has named the poltergeist Pipes, because her mother told that's where the noises are coming from. She doesn't seem very bothered, but her older sister isn't so calm. Back in the studio, a psychic, Gillian Bevin, assures skeptical host Parkinson that this is a very serious and spooky house. 

We hear some noises and maybe a few things fall over, but it looks pretty tame. But viewers keep phoning in to say they see someone in the shadows of the house - which the host can't find when looking over the tape. They even catch on off the girls making noises by pounding on the walls, and start thinking it is actually a hoax (over Bevin's objections). Then things start to get crazy.

Does this sort of sound familiar? One of the quiet hits from last year was David Dastmalchian's Late Night with the Devil (2023). Dastmalchian plays a late night TV host in the 70s whose show can't catch up to Carson. In desperation, he decides to invite the Devil on as a guest. Or not really - he invites Laura Gordon, an author on psychic phenomena and her subject, a cute little girl who is sometimes possessed by a demon named Mr. Wiggles. Also invited are Fayssal Bazzi, who plays a psychic named Christou, and ex-stage magician, skeptic and blowhard Ian Bliss. 

Christou does a cold reading of the audience, then contacts the spirit of Dastmalchian's late wife. When Bliss debunks this, Christou starts vomitting black bile and collapses. We find out in a commercial break that he died in the ambulance. 

Like in Ghostwatch, things get creepy, then are debunked, then get much creepier. 

The directors, Cameron and Colin Cairnes, needed an idea for a low-budget, high-impact movie, and they got it. 

I'm not going to say either of these is a better movie. Ghostwatch was written by one of Ms. Spenser's favorite horror writers, Stephen Volk, which is how she discovered it. It plays it a little straighter, without going too deep into the character and psychologies of the presenters and poltergeist victims. I guess audiences could fill those in themselves, knowing these personalities. Late Night explores Dastmalchian's character at length, his dabbling with the esoteric rich men's club, the Grove, the loss of his wife, his desperation to stay on the air. There is also a hint of a forbidden romance between him and Gordon, as well as a deep antagonism between him and the skeptic. Of course, Late Night is a period piece (beautifully executed), while Ghostwatch has only become one with the passage of time. 

I recommend watching as a double bill, in chronological order.