Get Stuffed

I guess I was looking for concert films, but due to poor filtering and hard luck, I picked How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965). I've seen it described as the worst of the Beach Blanket movies, but I've seen the same for all of them. 

It starts in Tahiti, where Frankie Avalon is serving his Army reserve commitment - and being served grapes by a sweet native girl, Bobbi Shaw. He refuses to get heavy with her, because he is true (-ish) to his girl at home, Annette Funicello. She tells him that Annette is probably dallying the same way he is, and takes him to see the witch doctor, Bwana - Buster Keaton.

In exchange for "torpedo squeezings", Buster promises to keep an eye on Annette, and send a beautiful girl to keep all the boys' attention off of her. He then faces the camera and says, "That's all the plot you'll get out of me."

Back on the beach, as a pelican (inhabited by Keaton?) watches Annette, and an empty bikini sashays along. The bikini is soon filled by Beverly Adams, and all the boys go cuckoo over her. That includes Mickey Rooney as the bowler-hatted motorcycle company exec. He wants to use Adams in an ad campaign. His assistant, Dwayne Hickman, however, is more interested in Annette.

And that's all the plot you'll get out of me.

But I should mention that Harvey Lembeck as bike-gang leader Eric von Zipper is present with his crew of Rats (and their girls, the Mice). Brian Donleavy is Mickey Rooney's boss. The Kingsmen play a song that isn't "Louie Louie" and do a number with Funicello. I must also note that all of the songs stink. 

But I love Harvey Lembeck as von Zipper. Keaton's Bwana role isn't great, although it has an odd tiki feel. I don't think he was very impressed by it, but a paycheck is a paycheck.

There are probably worse examples of the Beach Party genre out there. And I'll probably find out.