Thursday, June 27, 2019

Film Quiz!

OK, drop everything! There’s a new film quiz at Dennis Cozallo’s place. It looks like Prof. Hemlock isn’t going to be giving the test. The proctor is Jemina Brown, if that really is her name.

Even though this came out yesterday or the day before, there are no answers yet. I hope this is because Ms. Brown is holding them back until the deadline.

1) Name a musician who never starred in a movie who you feel could have been a movie star or at least had a compelling cinematic presence

Tom Waits has actually starred in a movie, which I saw, and it was pretty hard to sit through. Dylan’s star turn, Masked and Anonymous, was pretty good, I thought. Let’s play it safe with Bruce Springsteen, with Little Steven to help out.

2) Akira or Ghost in the Shell *

Can we pick the live action ScarJo Ghost?

3) Charles Lee Ray or Freddy Krueger? *

Don’t watch slashers, haven’t seen.

4) Most excruciating moment/scene you've ever sat through in a film

I’m sure I’ve seen worse since, but the chest bursted scene in Alien is something else, isn’t it?

5) Henry Cavill or Armie Hammer?

Ms. S says that I can’t pick Jim Caviezel. Also, I systematically got Cavill and Hammer mixed up in my post on Man from U.N.C.L.E. So I’ll let Ms. S answer - Armie Hammer.

6) Name a movie you introduced to a young person, one which was out of their expressed line of interest or experience, which they came to either appreciate or flat-out love

This might be a cheat because he loved trains, but we introduced a friend’s 4-year-old to The General and he loved it. Probably pretty safe movie for that.

7) Second favorite Robert Rossellini film

Have never seen one.

8) What movie shaped your perceptions of New York City, Los Angeles and/or Chicago before you ever went there and experienced the cities for yourself.

I’m tempted to say, “All of them” shaped my perception of LA. I know streets names, neighborhoods, freeways, all before I’d ever been.

But instead I want to mention the Will Ferrell movie Stranger than Fiction. I almost immediately recognized it as set in Chicago although I’ve never been there. So it didn’t really shape my perception, but it sure conformed to it.

9) Name another movie that shaped, for better or worse, another city or location that you eventually visited or came to know well.

We watched a ton of samurai movies, then went to live in Japan. It wasn’t much like what we were expecting.

10) Bela Lugosi or Christopher Lee? *

With all due respect to Lee’s body of work, it must be Bela.

11) Elizabeth Debicki or Alicia Vikander?

I recognize Debicki, but just barely. I really like Vikander.

12) The last movie you saw theatrically? The last on physical media? Via streaming?

In the theater, a RiffTrax roadshow - The Three Doctors, I think. Blu-ray, The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out a Window and Disappeared (coming soon to this blog). Streaming, the RiffTrax presentation of the Ross Hagen Wonder Women. Does RiffTrax count? We use streaming mostly for TV, and never go to the theater for straight movies.

13) Who are the actors, classic and contemporary you are always glad to see?

Classic - Charles Coburn, Nat Pendleton, Eve Aden, Louise Beavers. Contemporary - Patton Oswalt and Jeff Goldblum. We are pretty happy with movies these days.

14) Second favorite Federico Fellini film

La Dolce Vita and 8 1/2 are tied. Favorite (for now) is Intervista.

15) Tessa Thompson or Danai Gurira *

Tessa Thompson has delighted me every time I see her. Thor: Ragnarok, Sorry to Bother You and Annihilation was quite a run. I should have put her for the answer in #13.

16) The Black Bird or The Two Jakes?

I haven’t seen either, but I hear Two Jakes is actually all right.

17) Your favorite movie title

Cash Flagg’s Incredibly Mixed Up Creatures who Stopped Living and Became a Rip-Off of the Title of Dr. Strangelove.

18) Second favorite Luchino Visconti film

I’ve seen exactly one: Death in Venice.

19) Given the recent trend, what's the movie that seems like an all-too-obvious candidate for a splashy adaptation to Broadway?

I was going to say Into the Spider-Verse, then I remembered Turn Off the Dark. So I’ll say Dr. Strange. But it’s probably the latest Disney/Pixar release.

20) Name a director you feel is consistently misunderstood

William Beaudine was a sensitive director with great instincts, who was pigeonholed as a cheapie director because he could do so much with so little time and money.

21) Chris Evans or Chris Hemsworth? *

I wanted to ask why Pratt and Pine were left out, but Ms. S stopped me. Hemsworth.

22) What's the film that most unexpectedly grew in your estimation from trivial, or unworthy, or simply enjoyable, to a true favorite with some actual meat on its bones?

When we saw History of the World Pt I, we were very disappointed - It was definitely not Mel Brooks’ best effort. But every time we rewatch it, we love it a little bit more. It’s good to be the king.

23) I Am Curious (Yellow), yes or no?

Saw it in a New Hampshire Grange Hall with Pull My Daisy, Yank My Chain. Yes.

24) Second favorite Lucio Fulci film

Haven’t seen one. I am 1 for 3 Italian directors.

25) Are the movies as we now know them coming to an end? (http://collider.com/will-streaming-kill-movies/)

Always. And a good thing too.

Monday, June 24, 2019

Crazy Words, Crazy Tunes

Still Crazy (1998) is kind of a funny movie. I’ve seen comparisons to This is Spinal Tap, but it’s nothing like that. Maybe Almost Famous is closer. It’s a movie about a (fictional) band from the 70s getting back together in the 90s.

The backstory: At a big festival in the 70s, the rock band Strange Fruit is planning their last gig. The weather is bad and the band is basically electrocuted off the stage. They split up and go their separate ways - the guitarist to his death by overdose.

Now: The son of the festival promoter recognizes the band’s keyboard player, Stephen Rea, in Ibiza (he’s stocking the condom machines at the restaurant, but don’t let anyone know). The son proposes a re-union at the festival, if Rea can get the rest of the band together.

Rea goes to Juliet Aubrey, the band’s road manager/gofer, now a corporate drone at a hotel. He talks her into it - maybe partly because he has a thing for her and he’s Stephen Rea. So they go find the rest of the band.
  • Jimmy Nail is the bass player, now fixing slate church roofs 
  • Timothy Spall is Beano the drummer, a fat git working at a nursery (plants, not among children!)
  • Lead singer Bill Nighy, who has a country manor and a sexy wife who has got him clean and sober
  • Billy Connolly, their old road dog, shows up on his own (and also narrates)
They need a new guitarist, since the last one... is no longer with them. They pick a Hans Mattheson, whose a hot guitarist who doesn’t seem to mind the personality clashes - at first.

To get ready for the festival, they do some touring - starting with some pretty dire clubs, including a houseboat in Amsterdam. We get to learn about the band - Nail is permanently pissed off, Ray is a basket case, Beano is a happy idiot on the run from Inland revenue.  Rea is in love with Aubrey, but she is still in love with the missing guitarist. She also has a daughter, Rachel Stirling, who is not too psyched about touring with a bunch of wrinkly rockers, but maybe sees something in Mattheson.

The reason for that Nighy is so fragile is that he replaced the band’s first singer, who was the guitarist’s brother, but he died. Nighy felt he never lived up. Then the guitarist died, and everything went down the tubes. Like the tour, which has some good dates and bad dates, and finally flames out before the festival. Now comes the SPOILER.

The guitarist, Bruce Davidson, isn’t dead. He has been hiding out in a sanitarium, because he doesn’t want to die like his brother. He comes back and the band gets back together. But will he be strong enough to get on the stage?

Now, this isn’t quite a comedy. There aren’t any jokes about amps that go up to eleven, or cures stuffed in trousers. There is some character humor, like Rea being a condom refill tech. When Aubrey catches him checking out the condom machine, strictly as a professional, she thinks he’s just a gross man slut. Nighy is the best at this - he goes for a very goth, costumes and makeup style in a band that seems to be more straight rock. He’s also older than the others (50) and more conscious of it.

Of course, there’s Robinson, mostly seen in flashbacks acting trippy and wild, or felt as an absence. Like Sid Barrett (“Wish You Were Here”), Peter Green, or Roky Erickson (RIP) he represents the people who couldn’t handle the game and the fame. And that brings me to my final comparison: Eddie and the Cruisers.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

Mega-fauna for Mega-Fans

Speaking of movies we knew were going to be bad going in: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018). Actually, it’s possible that this isn’t a bad movie. It’s just that we are over it.

When we last left the J-World, the last remaining dinos were left on Isla Rebar to die a natural death. When the island’s volcano shows signs of becoming active, Professor Jeff Goldblum testifies before some committee that they should be allowed to once more go extinct. Bryce Dallas Howard, however, wants to save them. She is no longer the high-fashion business exec from Jurassic World - now she’s a bleeding heart counterculture Dino lover. So James Cromwell, playing the other tycoon involved in Dino cloning, offers to send her with a team to bring back the livestock. She, of course, recruits Chris Pratt, although their love affair from the last movie has cooled off a bit. They add Justice Smith as hacker and cute paleovet Danielle Pineda to the team. Also, a squad of mercenaries led by creepy Ted Levine.

I’ll skip through most of the island stuff except to ensure you that Levine does betray the good guys and reveal that the real purpose of the expedition is to bring some dinos back to be sold as weapons.

Our heroes make it back to America, hiding with the T. Rex. There, they find out about the arms auction run by Toby Jones in Cromwell’s mansion by his assistant Rafe Spall and B.D. Wong. They are aided by Cromwell’s little grand-daughter (or is she?), Isabella Sermon.

It’s kind of interesting that the last half at the mansion plays more like an Old Dark House story than Dino adventure. But not interesting enough for us. This movie is full of neat set pieces - the death of the last brachiosaurus has a very Disney look, for ex. I bet it was a swipe from Fantasia. It’s cool that so much animatronics was used, with subtle CGI work for the eyes, for ex. And the dinos are very cute, as is the little kid. The bad guys are suitably evil, and so forth. But I just got the feeling this wasn’t for me. It’s for the mega-fans. That’s great, but it’s not us.

Thursday, June 20, 2019

The Hood

For a while now, every movie about Robin Hood had been bad, and Robin Hood (2018) is no exception. So why did we watch it? Basically, I saw the trailer and a guy was jumping up in the air and firing four arrows before he came down. Sign me up.

The movie starts with Maid Marian (Eve Hewson) trying to steal a horse from Locksley (Taron Edgerton). I guess she’s supposed to be Roma or something, by her dark skin, horse-thieving ways, and revealing décolletage (“Well-made” Marian, indeed). Soon, they are happily romping about, until Robin gets his draft notice.

A literal parchment that says “Draft Notice”.

Now we cut to the Crusades, in a scene modeled after modern Afghanistan/Iraq battlefield. Robin cuts off the hand of Saracen Jamie Foxx, then saves his life. He has a complicated infidel name, so they just call him “John”.

When Robin gets back from the wars, he finds his manor pillaged by the Sheriff of Nottingham, and himself officially dead. He finds Marian, with a new lover. And he spots Jamie Foxx. The two get together in fight the Sheriff, with Foxx showing Robin the way of the recurved composite bow. There’s a great training montage here.

I’ll skip the rest of the plot except to say:
  • Nottingham has an industrial slum full of starving miners
  • There is no King John in this story
  • Also, no archery contest
  • They don’t get to Sherwood Forest until the end, setting up the never-to-be-made sequel
The overall idea is summed up by the costume design: The direction was 1/3 period, 1/3 modern, 1/3 futuristic. This carries over into the sets and plot. The very conscious and unsubtle introduction of modern themes (Mideast war, electoral politics, industrial poverty, church corruption) is an idea that could work, but doesn’t. Likewise, the action scenes are well done, but never really satisfying. Still, I have to say I kind of liked it. Like I said, guys shooting arrows while jumping in the air. I think the actors were trained by that stunt archer from YouTube, Lars Andersen.

I guess my favorite part was Friar Tuck, played by Tim Minchin, a musical comic and prominent atheist. He also does the narration.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Dirty Eli

The Lineup (1958) is a police procedural that’s about as brutal as they come - also full of beautiful old San Francisco locations.

It starts on the docks. A porter takes a suitcase off the top of a luggage cart and tosses it into a cab, which speeds off. The cab knocks over a policeman and finally  crashes. The policeman is dead. They call in Homicide.

When they check out the luggage, they find some heroin in a statue. They brace the businessman who owned the luggage, but he seemed to know nothing about it. Maybe he’s involved, but maybe he was an unwitting accomplice.

We then meet the crooks: Eli Wallace plays Dancer, a nerveless psychopath. Julian (Robert Keith, Brian Keith’s dad) is his older mentor and handler. Richard Jaeckel is their driver and contact to The Man. The caper is: Several tourists have unknowingly brought heroin into the country. Dancer will have to recover it. It is to be delivered to the Sutro Museum no later than 4:05 PM. Dancer recovers two of the bindles - killing someone every time. But when he gets to Mary LaRoche and her daughter, he discovers that the dope is gone. The girl thought it was face powder for her doll and it all blew away. So they take the mother and daughter hostage - so they can tell The Man what happened.

Eli Wallace is terrifying in this, like Richard Widmark in Kiss of Death. The mother and daughter don’t get kidnapped until about half way through, but by that time you know he’s a killer. It’s pretty tense stuff.

Of course, it’s all filmed on location in San Francisco - the San Francisco of the later 50s. We see Pier 39, the old Aquarium and DeYoung Museum, the Sutro Baths, now a museum and ice skating rink. Russian Hill, Nob Hill, and the Mark Hopkins. Even the Embarcadero Freeway, under construction. But even that’s tense, because the bad guys just about drive off the end.

There isn’t much of a lineup - it turns out this is based on a TV series, The Lineup, so they had to include it. Director Don Siegel (Dirty Harry) worked on the show, but here he wanted to dump the police procedural and concentrate on the crooks. Which he sort of does - the cops are a mile behind all the way.

Monday, June 17, 2019

The Cowboy Way

Since they seem to be making a live-action remake, I figured we had better watch the original Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2002) first. I’m glad we did.

This Japanese anime starts with a convenience store robbery. Outside, a security force gathers. One wanders in through the front door listening to headphones and ignoring the robbers - then taking them all out. Except one comes out of the back room and takes a hostage. Our “hero” explains that he isn’t here to save lives. He is a bounty hunter, and gets the same price whether the hostage lives or dies. Then he shoots the guy.

This cool man is Spike, the type of guy who habitually wears a suit, a shirt with a popped collar and a loosely knotted tie. Also on this team of bounty hunters is Jet Black, a serious guy with an anime goatee who is always getting deflated by Spike. Then there’s Faye, a cute girl who seems like a bit of a bimbo. I’m not sure if that was intentional or just sort of anime default. Finally, Ed is a teenaged girl who is off the wall. She is a computer hacker who waves her arms, types with her feet and speaks in an odd sing-song voice (we watched in Japanese, and it sounded familiar, but I can’t figure out the source). Finally, there’s a corgi who is mostly around for surrealistic effect.

One day while Faye is out chasing a bounty, someone exploded his own car in the middle of the freeway, releasing some chemical or biological agent. Faye is close enough to see the tattoo on his wrist, but doesn’t seem to follow up. That’s what I mean about her being a bimbo. The team decide to get the terrorist and the people behind him for a big bounty.

That’s the setup and it’s a good one. There is corporate espionage, visits to the shady souk in Moroccoville for contraband drugs and tech, and plain old fight scenes. But that’s not what makes this great. First, there’s the anime style: The artwork and camera angles and other tricks (multiplane animation with shallow focus, for ex) are just beautiful. The characters are fun, quirky and funny. But maybe the best part is the music. It isn’t bebop (maybe one piece is), but there’s hip hop, pop and metal. It seems to have been mostly written by Yoko Kanno.

Now, we’re psyched for the live-action movie and also we kind of want to watch the series.

Sunday, June 16, 2019

First Contact

We saw Alien (1979) in theater during its first run. We sat behind an 11-year old boy who assured us that he’d seen it many times and would let us know when to hide our eyes. Since then, we’d seen it a few times (I know when to hide now), and Ms. Spenser saw it on an airplane recently and asked to watch it at home.

I don’t know if I need to say much about it. It was as cool this time as every time before. Ms. S. pointed out the score, which I don’t think I’d noticed before - rather classical. As usual, the best part was the camaraderie between the mostly  blue-collar characters, and when it breaks down. Like Veronica Cartwright being so pissed at Sigourney Weaver for trying to quarantine them.

This is also the best version of the Alien as well. In Aliens, there are too many of them, and they are too survivable. But I was happy to see that this movie started the protocol for finding an unknown life form - take off your protective gear and poke it with a finger.

Saturday, June 15, 2019

A Fine Mess

The main reason for us to watch Stan & Ollie (2018) was to see Steve Coogan and John C. Reilly playing the title roles. Also, it’s funny, sweet and human.

It is essentially the story of Oliver and Hardy doing a tour of England while “between movies”. The quotes are because we can pretty much tell there won’t be any more movies. When they arrive, the find that the promoter, Rufus Jones, has pretty much cheaped out, booking them in small halls with minimum publicity, putting them up in rooming houses, etc. It’s a come down for the boys, but people they meet react warmly, thrilled to see the pair that they (or maybe their parents) love so much. And so it goes. It’s sad because they are playing small, half-empty houses, but not that sad, because the audiences are all cracking up. As they continue the tour, they start working the PR, making appearances, getting word of mouth, building up to the big London shows. There, their wives will come join them, and a producer will give them the go-ahead for the movie Stan has been writing.

Complications ensue. Babe (as everyone calls Oliver) is in bad health. Stan is nursing a grudge over the movie Ollie did without him years ago. Stan finds out the movie isn’t happening and doesn’t tell anyone. Money is tight, they break up, get back together, Ollie is hospitalized, but in the end, their friendship and the it love of the act holds them up. They finish the tour in Ireland to great acclaim.

Throughout, Coogan and Reilly inhabit Stan and Ollie almost perfectly. They do little bits of their routines, in real life and for (mostly) enchanted bystanders. They also show the pairs dynamic - Stan is the writer, the thinker, and Ollie is the easygoing, good time guy. They show the resentments and friendship. The wives are handled well - two very different women, with different temperaments who don’t seem to like each other much, but love and support their husbands.

Also, those little jokes and routines are fundamentally small, delicate, and sweet. The big finale is a little dance they do. Now, Ollie is in serious condition, recently off a heart attack and forbidden to exert in any way. I’ve never seen the performance of a silly dance presented as such a heroic accomplishment.

Thursday, June 13, 2019

Hello, Detroit!

This isn’t an entry into the heavy metal horror comedy fest - Detroit Rock City (1999) is missing the horror. Other than that it works pretty well.

The movie starts with four high school kids covering a KISS tune (badly) in a basement. They are
  • James Bello, a long haired stoner (Jason Mewes type)
  • Edward Furlong, tough kid (ala Michael J. Fox)
  • Sam Huntington, the cute kid (like a blonde David Cassidy?)
  • Giuseppe Andrews, a nice kid (sorry, I couldn’t identify his type)
It is 1978, and they are totally psyched to be going to see KISS in Detroit in two days. But Huntington’s mom (Lin Shane, Elise from Insidious!) finds and confiscates the tickets, because satanic. Then Bello manages to win tickets in a radio contest, and they are off to Detroit in a borrowed Volvo.

On the way, they pass some Guidos and Stellas (Italian-American disco fans) and get into an altercation. The Guidos bully them a little, then the kids turn on them and leave them by the side of the road. But Andrews gives one of the girls (Natasha Lyonne) a ride to Detroit (she’s going to Disco Inferno). Then the Volvo gets stolen.

Ok, so they get to the radio station and discover that stoner Bello hung up before he told the DJ his name, so there are no tickets. Now they need to take desperate measures. They split up and attempt to come up with tickets or money for a scalper.

To summarize:
  • Furlong enters a ladies night amateur strip competition, MC’ed by Ron Jeremy. He has a lot to drink first and pukes before performing, but does an interesting, Jim Morrison style routine. He loses, of course, but cougar Shannon Tweed picks him up, rocks his world, and slips him a few hundred.
  • Bello figures he’ll just mug a kid for a ticket, but the kid he picks has a huge big brother. He winds up owing the kid, and has to rob the convenience store. Instead, he foils someone else who’s trying to rob the convenience store, gets a reward and a kiss from the cute checkout girl.
  • Andrews sneaks backstage, but gets thrown out the back. There, he finds the Volvo and Lyonne, being held for nefarious purposes. He saves her, and gets his reward.
  • Huntington gets caught by his mom, who is part of a religious protest against KISS. She drags him to confession with father Joe Flaherty. But a girl from his class (Melanie Lynskey) sneaks into the confessional, and confesses she loves him, but is moving out of town. They get it on.
So our heroes all get some romance and some kind of reward. But do they make it to the concert? I don’t think you need a spoiler.

We are by no stretch of the imagination KISS fans, but this is a great movie. It’s full of the type of music you’d expect (KISS, Cheap Trick, Thin Lizzy, The Runaways). It’s full of funny scenes, and the kids are great. One thing I liked is that they are fundamentally OK. They never really think of skipping school or rebelling against authority - except Bello, he’s kind of a dick. When they meet the Guidos, it’s kind of obnoxious. But the disco guys bully them a lot before they even think of fighting back. And Lyonne gets to stand up for herself and the proposition that good music is good music, disco, metal or polka.

This was written and directed by Adam Rifkin, who has an odd resume, including writing Underdog and Mousehunt, but also Small Soldiers for Joe Dante. Recently, he wrote and directed The Last Movie Star, which may turn out to be Burt Reynolds final movie. An odd duck indeed.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Triple Black

I’ve heard a lot about Trilogy of Terror (1975) over the years, and now I’ve seen it. This made-for-TV movie is cited by a lot of the podcasters I listen to as one of the movies they loved to watch from behind the couch when they were kids. The last of the trilogy is most people’s favorite, but they are all pretty cool.

They all star Karen Black and are based on stories by Richard Matheson. The first one has college student Chad (Robert Burton) decide to “seduce” frumpy professor Black. He convinces her to go to the drive-in with him, then drugs her drink. He takes some sexy pictures of her and blackmails her into sexual slavery. Want the spoiler? Here it comes - it was all her idea. She likes playing sex games, but she’s tired of this one, so she drugs his drink. But her drug is poison!

The next features Black as a somewhat prissy rich woman, calling her doctor about her slutty twin sister. When you notice that you never see them together, you probably figure out the ending. The prissy sister kills the slut (also Black) but it’s a suicide, since they are one woman with split personality.

The final part is a tour de force, a one-woman play. Black comes home to her apartment, with a present for her boyfriend, an anthropologist. It’s a doll (called a Zuni fetish, but it doesn’t look very Native American) with fierce teeth and a spear. She has a talk with her overbearing mother who doesn’t want her to see her boyfriend, even though it’s his birthday. Then the doll comes to life and starts hunting her. The scene where the doll is hiding under the sofa made me understand why kids watched this from behind theirs.

I won’t spoil the end of this. It’s actually a pretty corny story, but Black does it all herself, with barely any special effects to animate the doll. That’s cool.

This was directed by Dan Curtis of Dark Shadows. I think my favorite was the first one, with the roofies and the me-too and the revenge turn-around. The gimmick of the twins in the second was a little too obvious. They tried to hide that it was a split personality in one scene, but barely. There’s also a voodoo subplot that doesn’t work. And the Zuni doll story is silly but let’s face it - it’s a classic now. Glad we got to this and kudos to Karen Black. She had done a some serious work before this, but afterwards found herself typecast. That’s suffering for art.

Monday, June 10, 2019

Tiger in the Tank

Railroad Tigers (2016) is your basic late Jackie Chan: a big cast to share the stunt duties and a little more wire work and editing around Jackie scenes. Still, a lot of fun.

It starts with a little boy looking at an old steam train, and he sees a cartoon tiger face chalked on the boiler. This triggers a flashback. We meet Jackie and crew robbing a train. This is during the Japanese occupation of Manchuria, so they are more or less freedom fighters. By day, they are railroad workers, and hang out at auntie Xu Fan’s pancake shop. As the Japanese train security mounts, they run into a wounded Chinese soldier. They hide him from the Japanese and he tells them of his mission - to destroy a certain bridge at a certain time. So the Tigers, much against their better judgement, agree to help.

The lead up is long and convoluted, with lots of new character enter, including Andy Lau. Each new character gets an old-fashiony title card, which helps keep them straight, but not by much. Many of them get a fighting style, like the engineer who uses a hammer on a rope. There are goofy fights and stunts - like when they make a human pyramid to scale a wall and then notice there was a ladder a little ways over. Most of this film is an action comedy.

Then comes the final fight to destroy the bridge. No one expects to come back alive, and pretty much no one does. This tonal shift might be jarring, but is actually pretty common in Chan’s movies. I feel like he wants to emphasize that violence is not all fun and games. But in the end, we come out of the flashback to see the little kid’s father, who was one of the Tigers. So either someone made it out alive, or it was all a story he was telling.

All in all, a little long and complicated, but some great set pieces.

Thursday, June 6, 2019

In Good Standing

Last Man Standing (1996) was Walter Hill’s version of Yojimbo, which was also remade as A Fistful of Dollars. Since this version is a 1930s gangster movie, I was hoping it would be more of a remake of Dashiell Hammett’s original story, Red Harvest. But it’s really more of a Bruce Willis thing.

It starts with Willis driving his Model A into a small Texas town, on his way to Mexico. He sees some men hustling a beautiful woman, Karina Lombard, across the street. The men see him looking at her and take offense, trashing his car and warning him that she is Doyle’s property. So it looks like he’ll be staying in town a while.

Sheriff Bruce Dern refuses to do a thing, being afraid of Doyle’s gang - and of the other gang in town. So Willis goes to ask Doyle to pay for repairs. The guy who trashed his car takes offense and draws a gun, so Willis shoots him. So now we know Willis is a bad man.

The other gang, run by an Italian named Strozzi, hires Willis as a soldier in the coming war between the gangs. One of his first gigs is to help hijack a shipment of liquor from Doyle. At this point, Willis goes to Doyle and defects for more money. And you get the idea.

I had mixed feelings about this film. Willis’ opening monologue is so over-the-top hardboiled poetry that I thought it was going to be silly. And it kind of was - this is Walter Hill we’re talking about, with Bruce Willis doing the talking. But, maybe since it is Hill and Willis, it was also kind of fun, in a bloody, amoral kind of way. The women don’t get treated very well, but not as bad as all that. One of the big bad guys is played by Christopher Walken, and that’s fun. And Ry Cooder did the music, mostly as subtle, bluesy guitar.

Still, someday I’d like to see a version of Hammett’s story about a town they call Poisonville.

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Scandal of 1960

A Breath of Scandal (1960) looks pretty good on paper - a Michael Curtiz sex farce starring Sophia Loren, with some Angela Lansbury and Maurice Chevalier thrown in. I can’t say it lived up to this, but it does still have Sophia Loren.

She plays an Austrian princess, exiled to a remote castle by the Emperor for having affairs. She is headstrong and self-centered. She loves to shoot a rifle at the mailman, and gallop her horse through the countryside. On one of these rides, American John Gavin in his new-fangled automobile scares her horse, throwing her. When she sees him, she has to have him, and sets out to seduce him. Since he is a Puritanical American, this is harder than it sounds, but she succeeds.

But her father, Chevalier, tells her that the Emperor has rescinded her exile and wants her to marry the Prince of Prussia. Of course, she is thrilled - that is what princesses do, she explains to Gavin, marry princes. She expects him to understand (he doesn’t). She also expects that no breath of scandal will be exposed, or the marriage cannot take place.

There isn’t much humor in this comedy (sex farce is a bit too far). Gavin is famously wooden - this makes him well cast, but not very interesting. Curtiz was probably past it. However, Loren looks amazing, with what appears to be a 19-inch waist. Her decadent aristocrat without a touch of feeling for the common people is charming, or at least bracing. She is so much better than the material.

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Ain’t Misbehaving

Misbehaving Husbands (1940) is a late Harry Langdon, but not really. He’s in it, but there doesn’t seem to be a trace of his silent film persona. In the silents and some early talkies, he was a sort of round-headed man baby. He is more of the absent-minded husband, with more than a touch of Wally Cox.

He plays the manager (owner?) of a department store, into which he puts all his attention. He even forgets about the party his wife, Betty Blythe, is throwing for him. He stays late at the store moving a blonde mannequin around in the display window, and one of his guests sees him on the way to the party. Worse, he injures her face and someone sees him loading her up into his car to take her to the wax works for repairs. The police pick him up later, thinking he was disposing of a body and hold him for questioning. Meanwhile, the story of him romancing a blonde starts going around among the guests at the party that he is missing, and his wife overhears.

This leads another guest, an unscrupulous divorce lawyer, to encourage his Blythe to divorce Langdon, and soak him for anything she can. And so on.

There’s a certain amount of humor in Langdon’s absentmindedness and some physical comedy with the mannequin. Also, there’s a drunk scene that isn’t bad. But most of this is very much standard fare - including the romantic subplot between two young people brought in to observe the couple’s separation. It’s mildly interesting to see Langdon all grown up. His wife, Betty Blythe, is another silent era star. Look for stills of her playing the Queen of Sheba - she was hot stuff. Several other cast members had similar backgrounds. Whether that makes it worthwhile is your call.

Monday, June 3, 2019

Kiwigasm

Deathgasm (2015) is another entry into our metal horror comedy festival. This entry comes from New Zealand, and is pretty crazy.

It stars Milo Cawthorne as Brodie, a high school metalhead who gets sent to a small town to live with his Christian aunt and uncle while his mother is in the hospital (meth problem). They are not very tolerant of his lifestyle, and his cousin is a jock bully. He tries to rescue a nerd from his cousin and crew, and gets introduced to another nerd and the concept of Dungeons and Dragons - which he doesn’t care for. Then he meets Zakk (James Blake) in the local record store.

Zakk is another metalhead, and a real bad boy - he drinks, smokes pot, and plays outrageous pranks. Along with the two nerds, they form a band that Zakk insists must be called Deathgasm. Also, it looks like the cutest girl in school (and his jock cousin’s girl), Medina (Kimberly Crossman), is interested in him. So now he’s starting to have fun.

One of Zakk’s pranks is to sneak into a “deserted” house where he thinks a famous musician is hiding out. They find him, but so does a strange cult. So the musician gives them a record and they run, before the cult gets them. The record turns out to be Rick Astley (Rick rolled!), but there is also some paper with an ancient musical melody written on it. When they play it, it has a weird effect on them - and the neighborhood. Could it be - the Devil’s Music? (SPOILER - yes.)

Soon Brodie is pissed off enough at everybody that he is willing to play this Satanic Hymn to gain great power. He doesn’t, though. He just makes everyone else possessed by demons.

There’s a lot to love about this movie. It has great low-budget gross-out special effects, including a long fight between Brodie’s demonic aunt and uncle, and Brodie and Zakk, armed with a collection of dildos and vibrators. Then there’s the teen character study, with Zakk as the fun friend who turns out to be a totally selfish jerk who will try to steal your girl and lie to your face about it. Then there’s the metal sound track, which is pretty righteous. And it’s all done in a devil-may-care (heh) indie style with notebook doodle title cards, crazy editing and fourth wall breaking.

Also, the Brodie/Medina/Zakk triangle made me notice that Jennifer’s Body is a rock-horror-comedy, because of a similar scene. Cool.