Monday, March 18, 2024

Cries and Vespers

Vesper (2022) is the kind of thing we want to watch more of. Small-scale movies with big ideas.

It stars Raffiella Chapman as Vesper, a young girl livng in a post-apocalyptic world. The apocalypse was ecological collapse, combatted with genetic engineering, which didn't help. We meet her slogging through a muddy field, gleaned turnips that the harvesters missed. As the intro tells us, the upper classes moved to Citadels, where they sell seeds to the rest of the world. But the seeds are one-time only - their seeds are infertile.

Chapman goes around with a cubic drone, about the size of a small microwave. It hovers and has a crude face (two circles and a line for eyes and a mouth). It is run by her father, who is paralyzed in bed, in their little Depression era farmhouse (seems this catastrophe hit around 1930). The house runs on biotech, including a bacteria-based generator for electricity. When it goes out (sabotage?), her father's life support starts going out, so she has to visit her uncle.

Her uncle, Eddie Marsan, is a right bastarrd. He runs a colony that exchanges the blood of his many bastards, wives, etc, to the Citadel for seeds. He also has some gruesome subhuman bioconstructs working for him. While she visits him, he tries to convince her to join his tribe, which she gets out of. But she does steal a few seeds on her way out.

On her way home, she discovers a lovely young woman, Rosy McEwan. She realizes that Rosy comes from the nearest Citadel, because she's not covered in shit. She also has no survival skills, so Chapman takes her home. McEwan wants to find the crashed flyer that carried her and her father, or call the Citadel, but it's getting dark and the only way to contact the Citadel is through her uncle.

First little spoiler: McEwan is a construct, built by the "father", a bioengineer. She tells Chapman that she cared for him, soothed him, and he cared for her. This monologue goes on for a while - we get it, you're a sexbot. But her artificial genes hold a secret that might save, maybe not the world, but some parts of it.

This is not a movie about big tech, although there are flyers and drones, and there's even a shot of a Citadel. But it's more about hardscrabble rural life with weird biotech - the bacteria generator is like a big balky steam heat boiler. There are bags of culture everywhere and most of the food is gruel with some tasty mealworms. Then McEwan shows up, dressed in white, privileged and naive - I haven't seen Poor Things, but I got a similar vibe (maybe it's just that both characters have strong eyebrows). 

I was a little let down by the ending, but Ms. Spenser set me straight on a few things I had missed or misinterpreted, so never mind I guess. I prefer a little more tech in my sci-fi, but Vesper was a biotech genius, hoping to get into a Citadel to help the world. I would like to see that movie, too.

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

Ghosted

Let me start with what we didn't watch: They Crawl Beneath (2022). I figured Ms. Spenser needed a good creature feature, so we tried this out. It's about a lame-o Bakersfield cop who hangs out with his asshoile alcoholic uncle - played by Michael Pare! - over Thanksgiving, while stressing about his hot ex (but not trying to be less of an asshole to her). While they are working underneath an old Mustang, there's an earthquake, which kills Pare and traps the cop and tears his leg up. And if that's not bad enough, huge nematodes (yep) are coming out of the ground, infinging people's liberties. We watched way too much of this, almost an hour, before we just gave up.

So we decided to watch Disney's Haunted Mansion (2023) - we haven't seen the original Eddie Murphy. This was a surprisingly good choice.

LaKeith Stanfeild is an astrophysicist, developing a camera to photograph dark matter. He meets and falls in love with a New Orleans ghost tour guide. After she dies in a car crash, he becomes bitter and depressed. He in now running her tours, hating it all, and refusing to discuss ghosts.

Meanwhile, widowed Rosario Dawson, and her cute, bowtie wearing son, move into a haunted mansion, planning to fix it up as a B&B. But it's too haunted for them and they run away (smart move, but...)

Soon, unorthodox priest Owen Wilson shows up a Stanfield's place. He wants to try to photograph the ghosts in the mansion with Stanfield's camera. He's reluctant until Wilson offers him money. He shows up and Dawson warns him not to step inside. He does anyway, and doesn't find any ghosts. But he is haunted when he get's home. You see, once you set foot in the mansion, the ghosts follow you everywhere. That's why Dawson is back at the mansion.

So Wilson decides to gather a Dream Team of ghostologists, including psychic Tiffany Haddish and historian Danny Devito. Of course, he doesn't tell them about what happens when you cross the threshold...

This wasn't a laugh riot or anyrthing, but it was fun and cute. The scares are mild and the special effects mostly low-tech - which was nice for such a big movie. There are a lot of nods to the Disney ride, some of which I got, most probably not. The ghosts were not quite the characters I would have expected, except for Jamie Lee Curtis, a New Orleans spiritualist trapped in her crystal ball. Even Jared Leto as Hatbox Ghost didn't make that big an impact.

But the actors playing the main characters were all charismatic and seemed to be having a lot of fun. Wilson and Devito, in particular, seemed to be just running with it. Now I'm curious about the 2003 Eddie Murphy version.

Wednesday, March 6, 2024

Society Girls


Ms. Spenser let me pick the movie, and I picked Polite Society (2023). Might be my last pick for a while.

It stars Priya Kansara and Ritu Arya as the Khan sisters, living in London with their parents of Pakistani origin. Arya, the older sister, wants to be an artist, but has lost confidence. But the real star is Kansara, a high school girl who wants to be a stunt woman. She has her sister filming her attempts at a spin kick, with little success. 

Kansara has two friends at school, and a bully. The first big action scene is a fight between the bully, the physically imposing Shona Babayemi. It's full of martial arts posturing and wire work. And she is defeated. Also, her guidance counselor doesn't think she should intern with famous stunt woman Eunice Huthart (who she emails daily, getting no reply). Her parents agree, she should become a doctor, or at least a receptionist.

Their mom is a bit of a social climber, and gets an invite to Nimra Bucha's fancy Eid party. At this party, Arya meets son of the house, Arkshay Khanna, a handsome eligible doctor, who is obviously being shopped for a wife. Soon, they are dating. Arya gives up art, and seems to be in love. Kansara is not having it, and with her friends, schemes to sabotage the relationship.

The hijinks are mostly fun, but a little low-key. They are pretty much high-school attempts at James Bond super-espionage. But it's been awhile since the last action scene. 

In fact, there are only two or three of those heightened action scenes in the whole movie. There is a dance scene, but it's quite short. I've heard this movie described as Bend It Like Beckham mixed with Scott Pilgrim, directed by Sammo Hung. It's more Bend It with a pinch of Scott Pilgrim. 

Of course, Bend It was a great movie, and maybe this is too. Kansara is a very appealing star, and so are her friends (and bully). Bucha has real presence as the sleek, sophisticated, evil mother-in-law to be. Reminded me a lot of Shohreh Aghdashloo, with less warmth. 

But we were set up to expect a lot more action, or at least hijinks. Ms. Spenser's analysis is that it didn't know what it wanted to be. When they got a little more crazy, it was more fun - except the ending, which was pretty crazy, and felt unearned. I'd say more, but it wouldn't be polite.

Tuesday, March 5, 2024

The Writers Done It

On the library shelf, Invitation to a Murder (2023) looked like just the thing. An Agatha Christie pastiche period piece, but not a Branagh spectacle - a small movie with no actors we recognized. We jumped right on it.

It starts in a 1930s London bookshop, because they know the audience will love a cozy, book-filled shop. Mischa Barton is chatting with a friend over the latest "Inspector Poirot" (he wasn't a detective). We learn here that she is the amateur detective type. When she gets home, she finds a mysterious invitation from Lord Findley, a reclusive billionaire (there were no billionaires in existence in the 30s - from these clues, we know that the writers weren't reying that hard). All will be explained if you come to his mansion on a remote island. Travel arrangements have been made.

On the train to the island, she meets the other guests, introduced by chatty Seamus Dever (who I labelled not-Cillian Murphy). There was a young doctor, Giles Mathy, canoodling with exotic Bianca A. Santos. A mysterious Asian, Grace Lynn Kung, and gruff American journalist, Chris Browning (who I labelled not-Christopher Walken). This confuses Barton, because she had a theory that there would be only five invitees, based on a clue in the seal on the invite. How right she turns out to be. Before we get off the train, I knew - they all done it! I was wrong.

They are met at the launch to the island by a valet, Alex Hyde-White. In fact, there are only three on staff, including butler James Urbaniak and maid Amy Sloan. Lord Findley has been detained by weather, but should be flying in shortly (he does not). The staff seem rather cold and not very good at their jobs. Now, I'm thinking the butler done it. Well, we'll see.

After a little faffing around, Dever is found dead, stabbed in the neck with a preposterous push dagger. He is carried inside, and when they steel themselves to search him, his body disappears. 

Barton sort of takes over the investigation, to the disgust of tough guy Browning. But she soons wins him over as he wants to investigate this situation too. They find many odd and interesting clues, both on the estate and in the backstories of the guests. I'll skip ahead a bit and let you know that Dever shows up alive and the Hyde-White gets killed. So the butler didn't do it, I guess.

The next morning, they decide to call the police. That was an option? And you didn't do it when the first murder was committed. Okay that murder didn't take. But they didn't know that.

I won't spoil the ending, except to say that the way it is discovered is ridiculous (closed circuit TV - in the 1930s!). The whole plot is preposterous, which actually isn't disqualifying. The same could be said for most of Christie's mysteries. But really.

I will say that the movie looked very nice, mostly set in a lovely wood paneled mansion. Ms. Spenser noticed the costumes, and noticed how well they fit the sets. For instance, Santos wore blue, and was always photographed in front of a blue background, like a blue leather chair. Her swain, Mathy, wore a dweeby brown cardigan (indicative of his personality). and tended to be photographed in front of earth tones. Nice touch.

Barton (who I labelled not-Amy Poehler) was a bit of a stock character, the nosy but gifted amateur detective, but I'm afraid was just a bit too annoying for us. Browning was better as the gruff, unmannered war correspondent, who hates Findley as an evil capitalist. Alex Hyde-White (not to be confused with Hyde-Pierce or Park) made a bit of an impression. Ms. Spenser recognized him as the son of Wilfrid Hyde-White, a classic British stuffy upper-class type - he played Col. Pickering in My Fair Lady

So it looked good, and had a nice cozy feel, but in the end was just too silly. The reason we get stuff out of the library is that they are supposed to have standards. But in the end, it was the writers who are to blame. 

Friday, March 1, 2024

Farewell to Marlowe

I picked up Farewell, My Lovely (1975) after seeing Murder, My Sweet. They are both based on the Raymond Chandler story Farewell, My Lovely - They changed the name for the Dick Powell version because they didn't want it to sound like a fluffy romance. This version stars Robert Mitchum and no one would suspect him off being in a fluffy romance.

It starts with Moose Malloy, this time played Jack O'Halloran, a big ex-pug, but no Mike Mazurki. Once again, he takes Marlowe to the place he last saw Velma, 8 years ago. Velma is still as cute as lace pants, but in this version, the place is now a colored joint, which allows for a bit of cynical racism. This is more faithful to the book, although toned donw qite a bit for 1970s audiences. By the way, I re-read the book to compare to these movies.

Here are some differences: In the book, there's a cute girl reporter who helps out. In Murder, she becomes the femme fatale's daughter, which works better, I think. The character is eliminated in Farewell, possibly because Mitchum is too old for that stuff. He's replaced by a newsie, as sort of a sidekick for Marlowe. 

In this version, Amthor is a butch madame, played by Kate Murtagh (the waitress on the cover of Supertramp's Breakfast in America). I don't know if this is an improvement. I like the oddball idea of an evil Spiritual Advisor. Actually, in the book, he turns out to be sort of irrelevant, just mixed up accidentally, Anyway, Mitchum still gets doped, and Murtagh attempts to frame him. But Sylvester Stallone (!) shoots her for knocking around one of the girls he's sweet on, Ranbeaux Smith (!).

Farewell also includes the gambling boat scene, with Anthony Zerbe as the gambling boss. This was in the book, but left out of Murder, because the studio bosses didn't want any trouble from the mobsters ran actual gambling boats. I guess that racket was washed up in the 70s.

The femme fatale in this version was played by Charlotte Rampling. She's certainly as cute as lace pants, but I see her as too refined to be the best Helen Grayle. 

Mitchum makes a tired, tough Marlowe, not as snappy as Powell. Both are great with the patter, both worthy of the title gumshoe. Murder used the framing story of a blinded Powell telling the whole story in an interrogation, which wasn't in the book or in Farewell. In Farewell, Mitchum is kept going my Joe DiMaggio's hitting streak, getting a hit in 56 straight games. 

I think I noticed a few times that the later movie copied from the earlier (Jessie Florian's excessive decolletage), but in most cases, it went back to the original book. That book is full of cute expressions, like "crazy as two waltzing mice". "liquor dies painless with me. Doesn't know what hit it", and "cute as lace pants”.

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Pump Up the Vol. 3

Now that Netflix isn't shipping DVDs (and we try to limit streaming subscriptions), we're kind of at the mercy of what shows up at the library. And now we've seen Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3.

It starts on the ramshackle Quardians HQ. Rocket (Bradley Cooper) is ruminating, and Quill (Chris Pratt) is dead drunk, mourning over the loss of love Gamora (Zoe Saldana). She isn't actually dead - there's a version of her from 2-3 years ago running around, but she doesn't even know Quill. Then, from nowhere, a golden indestructible human comes smashing in, just tearing everything up. It's Will Poulter, as Adam Warlock!

There's a big fight, and it's clear that this Warlock guy is super-powerful, and also an idiot. They dispactch him, but not before he does a lot of damage - almost killing Rocket. Then it turns out that Rocket has a kill switch - med packs don't work on him to protect his embedded IP.

That's when we get a flashback to Rocket's origin. He was a little raccoon chosen by the High Evolutionary (Chukwudi Iwuji) to be experimented on. He grows up in a cage with other cybernetic creatures, his friends. Of them all, he's the one who is not just intelligent, but creative. But when he tries to bust everyone out, his friends are killed, and only he survives. 

So while he is dreaming and dying, the Guardians go after the High Evolutionary to get the kill switch off code. It turns out that huge swaths of galactic society were creasted and nurtured by him. For instance, the Sovereign, the golden race of snooty bureaucrats we met at the start of Vol. 2. They were the ones who created Adam Warlock. which sort of explains why he is a moron.

The Hi-Ev's latest plan is Counter-Earth, a planet modeled after Earth (traditionally, in the Earth's orbit on the opposite side of the sun), but populated with evolved animals. The problem is, he never figured out how to make the animals creative, so he needs Rocket. And he decides to destroy the planet, with all the inhabitants, including Drax, Nebula, and Mantis. Don't worry, they save themselves. The rest of the population, not so much. 

People will tell you they cried over this movie, and I know how they feel. The theme of animal experimentation and torture is a sad one. But it was a little upsetting when, in the midst of a genocide, Rocket radios the rest of the team and says, the important thing is that we're all all right. I guess.

There's a lot of other fun stuff, like a Russian cosmonaut dog who has become sentient and telekinetic. Also, Kraglin (Sean Gunn) can't really use Yondu's whistle arrow, and takes it out on Cosmo, who he calls a bad dog. And Howard the Duck shows up in a card game, and even has a line. Did anyone see Pip the Dwarf? I didn't but you never know.

I must say, I was very excited to see my favorite superhero, Adam Warlock. I wasn't too sure about seeing him as a dumdum. In the comics as I remember, he was powerful and noble, yet naive. Then I think of how often he got manipulated and fooled, and then lashed out, well, maybe this is a good take. Anyway, I like Poulter's version, so fine. 

About the soundtrack: The first two volumes had music based on the 70s and 80s awesome mixtapes his mother gave Quill. Remember the Zune mentioned at the end of Vol. 2? So this volume has a much wider range of music.

Monday, February 26, 2024

White and Black

We were pretty excited about Outlaw Johnny Black (2023) - a comedy/Western starring and directed by Michael Jai White. We loved Black Dynamite, so obviously we were going to see this. We weren't exactly disappointed...

White is Johnny Black, a wanted man. It starts with him waiting outside a bank. He has info that the bank will be robbed by his nemesis, the man who shot his pa, Chris Browning. But before they show up, he is arrested and thrown in jail, and has to watch the bad guys get away. 

When he was just a boy, his father was a sharpshooter showman by day, revival preacher by night. When one of his tricks impresses Browning's gang, Browning gets jealous and tries to duel him. Then he just guns White's father down. So White vows revenge, and, now a man, has missed again.

On his way to the next town, he finds a preacher, aiming to marry the woman he has been corresponding with. White proposes that he take the preacher's place, in exchange for not shooting him. When he gets to town, White recites a few passages from the preacher's letters, and is accepted as the real thing - by the demure and beautiful Erica Ash as well as the townspeople. Then he meets her sister, the wild and beautiful Anika Noni Rose.

Meanwhile, the preacher has run off and gotten captured by Indians, and married off to the ugly (possibly M2F Two Spirit) daughter of the chief.

Now the first part of the movie plays like a regular Western comedy - say, Support Your Local Sheriff or Cat Ballou, or even Buck and the Preacher. The comedy is more or less grounded, and there are even long stretches of just plain Western. But there are also wackier sections, like the "marry the ugly Indian", which has a sort of Benny Hill vibe. Then there's the surreal/meta stuff, like the Indian chief shedding a single tear. Like Iron Eye Cody, this chief is not played by a Native American, either. There's a guy who looks like Uncle Ben, and a few other more out-there touches.

There's also a lot of quotes from great Westerns, like a slap/quick draw, from Trinity is Still My Name. And the chief's daughter punches a horse, like in Blazing Saddles.

Since the movie is over two hours long, I think the problem was that White just loved all this stuff and didn't want to leave a thing out. He seemed to be having a great time just riding along on a horse, and probably loved being in a Western. He got a lot of talent to join him, including Randy Couture and Barry Bostwick. 

So we weren't as blown away as we were by Black Dynamite, but we had fun - just maybe not as much as the cast did. I think I would have preferred more Blazing Saddles stuff, or failing that, less of it. He could have made a sincere, silly but grounded movie. It would have had a more reasonable runtime, too. But he might never get another chance, so why not put it all in?