Amazon Women on the Moon is not actually a sequel to Kentucky Fried Movie. It came 10 years later (1987), but it was only partly directed by John Landis, who directed KFM. Parts were directed by Joe Dante and others. And of course, the Zuckers (Police Squad, Airplane) whose writing was so much a part of KFM are not on AWotM. So what remains the same?
It is basically a loose series of sketches organized around a late-night movie. There are commercials, other shows, and just random bits. Some are hilarious, some just silly, none as great as they could be, all of them pretty funny. One of my favorite gags was in the opening credits: "Starring: A Lot of Actors".
It's true: We recognized Arsenio Hall, Steve Guttenberg, Rosanna Arquette, Carrie Fisher and a few others. B.B. King, Harry Silva, Steve Allen, Henny Youngman, Slappy White, Rip Taylor and a bunch of others played themselves. We didn't recognize Paul Bartel, Ed Begley, Jr., Sybil Danning, Griffin Dunne, Joe "Joey Pants" Pantoliano, and many more. Neither did we catch the cameos by Forrest Ackerman, Ralph Bellamy, Russ Meyer or Phil Procter. And many more.
So, watch it for the jokes, for the stars or the gratuitous nudity. If you loved Kentucky Fried Movie, you'll probably like this.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Holidays in Hollywood
Like Scrooge and the Grinch, we hold nothing in our hearts but disdain for Christmas. However, we do like to watch some holiday classics - not How the Grinch Stole Christmas or A Christmas Carol. However, we did like Christmas in Connecticut.
CiC stars Barbara Stanwyck as a Martha-Stewart-like writer of a homemaking column. She writes about the fine meals she cooks for her husband and baby on their Connecticut farm. In reality, she lives in a small Manhattan apartment and doesn't know how to cook. She gets all of her recipes from a Hungarian restauranteur, played by S.Z. "Cuddles" Sakall.
But her publisher, Sidney Greenstreet, decides that she should invite a sailor to her Connecticut farm for Christmas dinner, and won't take no for an answer. She only knows one person with a farm in Connecticut - a nice but boring architect who has been trying for years to marry her. So, feeling she has no choice, she agrees to marry him if he will go along with the gag.
Of course, when Greenstreet shows up at the farm with the sailor, she falls instantly in love with him, and he with her. Can she avoid marrying the man who is supposed to be her husband, avoid revealing that she can't cook, and still get her sailor? And what about the baby?
I'm afraid that the sailor, played by Dennis Morgan, is rather a stiff. The supposedly boring suitor (Reginald Gardiner) actually seems quite nice - although older, maybe that's the dealbreaker.
The real joys, outside of Stanwyck's glorious presence, are the two fat men, Sakall and Greenstreet. Sakall hams it up, muttering in Hungarian if everything isn't "hunky-dunky". Greenstreet plays a broad, blustery, larger-than-life sort himself. And as a lagniappe, we have Una O'Connor, as the farm's cook and caretaker. Her patented skinny old Irish biddy plays well against Cuddles' Hungarian. I was hoping for romance between them, but no such luck.
In conclusion - favorite holiday movies? Least favorite? We also like The Bishop's Wife (Cary Grant) and Lady in the Lake - Robert Montgomery's Philip Marlowe movie that takes place over Christmas. I should like It's a Wonderful Life, being a fan of Capra, but George Bailey is such a wimpy martyr, it just makes me mad.
CiC stars Barbara Stanwyck as a Martha-Stewart-like writer of a homemaking column. She writes about the fine meals she cooks for her husband and baby on their Connecticut farm. In reality, she lives in a small Manhattan apartment and doesn't know how to cook. She gets all of her recipes from a Hungarian restauranteur, played by S.Z. "Cuddles" Sakall.
But her publisher, Sidney Greenstreet, decides that she should invite a sailor to her Connecticut farm for Christmas dinner, and won't take no for an answer. She only knows one person with a farm in Connecticut - a nice but boring architect who has been trying for years to marry her. So, feeling she has no choice, she agrees to marry him if he will go along with the gag.
Of course, when Greenstreet shows up at the farm with the sailor, she falls instantly in love with him, and he with her. Can she avoid marrying the man who is supposed to be her husband, avoid revealing that she can't cook, and still get her sailor? And what about the baby?
I'm afraid that the sailor, played by Dennis Morgan, is rather a stiff. The supposedly boring suitor (Reginald Gardiner) actually seems quite nice - although older, maybe that's the dealbreaker.
The real joys, outside of Stanwyck's glorious presence, are the two fat men, Sakall and Greenstreet. Sakall hams it up, muttering in Hungarian if everything isn't "hunky-dunky". Greenstreet plays a broad, blustery, larger-than-life sort himself. And as a lagniappe, we have Una O'Connor, as the farm's cook and caretaker. Her patented skinny old Irish biddy plays well against Cuddles' Hungarian. I was hoping for romance between them, but no such luck.
In conclusion - favorite holiday movies? Least favorite? We also like The Bishop's Wife (Cary Grant) and Lady in the Lake - Robert Montgomery's Philip Marlowe movie that takes place over Christmas. I should like It's a Wonderful Life, being a fan of Capra, but George Bailey is such a wimpy martyr, it just makes me mad.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
In the Name of Heaven!
We knew In the Name of the King was going to be bad. Everybody knows it is bad - It's directed by Uwe Boll, famously bad director. But how bad could it be?
The movie takes place in a mythical time of swords and sorcery, and picturesque scenery from the Pacific Northwest. Jason Statham is "Farmer", a stoical farmer with a lovely wife, a young son and an annoying neighbor (Ron Perlman). When bands of marauding Krugs kill his son and kidnap his wife, he sets off to rescue her.
Meanwhile, an evil wizard (Ray Liotta) is plotting against the the king (Burt Lancaster), his good wizard (John Rhys-Davies), while macking on good wizard's daughter (Leelee Sobiewski). Just roll that cast around in your head for a moment - a Goodfella, the Bandit, Gimli and Joan of Arc, all in one bad movie. Ray Liotta in particular looks like he is William Shatner playing the lead role in The Liberace Story.
So, big name actors, terrible acting. How about the action and special effects? The action scenes aren't bad, just a little muddled - especially when the ninja show up, do some stunts and have basically no effect on the battle. The scenery is gorgeous - I just found out this is called Scenery Porn. Some of the cinematography is quite nice, usually involving the scenery.
So, how bad was it? In my humble opinion, not as bad as you might think. The direction and writing are inept, but the production values give it an attractive sheen. I'd put it down around Eragon - Eragon had more soul, but ItNotK had better production values. So, it would be a contender the most expensive bad movie or the worst expensive movie.
But neither one could be said to be good. If you want to watch them, don't say you weren't warned.
The movie takes place in a mythical time of swords and sorcery, and picturesque scenery from the Pacific Northwest. Jason Statham is "Farmer", a stoical farmer with a lovely wife, a young son and an annoying neighbor (Ron Perlman). When bands of marauding Krugs kill his son and kidnap his wife, he sets off to rescue her.
Meanwhile, an evil wizard (Ray Liotta) is plotting against the the king (Burt Lancaster), his good wizard (John Rhys-Davies), while macking on good wizard's daughter (Leelee Sobiewski). Just roll that cast around in your head for a moment - a Goodfella, the Bandit, Gimli and Joan of Arc, all in one bad movie. Ray Liotta in particular looks like he is William Shatner playing the lead role in The Liberace Story.
So, big name actors, terrible acting. How about the action and special effects? The action scenes aren't bad, just a little muddled - especially when the ninja show up, do some stunts and have basically no effect on the battle. The scenery is gorgeous - I just found out this is called Scenery Porn. Some of the cinematography is quite nice, usually involving the scenery.
So, how bad was it? In my humble opinion, not as bad as you might think. The direction and writing are inept, but the production values give it an attractive sheen. I'd put it down around Eragon - Eragon had more soul, but ItNotK had better production values. So, it would be a contender the most expensive bad movie or the worst expensive movie.
But neither one could be said to be good. If you want to watch them, don't say you weren't warned.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Thanks-mas Year Quiz
I was out of town around Thanksgiving when Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule hosted their movie quiz, hosted byRussell Johnson - the Professor of Gilligan's Island. So I was pretty late with my answers. Still, I wasn't the last one.
Instead of just linking, I thought I'd post the whole thing here - mainly to fix some answers I messed up.
1) Second-favorite Coen Brothers movie.
"The Cooler" - technically not a Coen Bros. movie, so it fits.
2) Movie seen only on home format that you would pay to see on the biggest movie screen possible? (Question submitted by Peter Nellhaus)
Possibly nothing. We pretty much hate movie theaters.
3) Japan or France? (Question submitted by Bob Westal)
It's not just Kurosawa and Ozu vs. Truffaut and Godard, but for total corpus, I vote Japan. The breadth and width of the samurai movie genre alone guarantees it.
4) Favorite moment/line from a western.
"Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness." Or the opening barfight from Destry Rides Again (almost any moment from that movie).
5) Of all the arts the movies draw upon to become what they are, which is the most important, or the one you value most?
I'm going with visual composition - the look of a frame. The most basic.
6) Most misunderstood movie of the 2000s (The Naughties?).
Wish I could say Speed Racer, but I guess I agree with conventional wisdom - it was flashy fluff with no deeper meaning. I got nothing.
7) Name a filmmaker/actor/actress/film you once unashamedly loved who has fallen furthest in your esteem.
Woody Allen. I can't tell if his quality has fallen off or if the skeevieness of his private life has put me off.
8) Herbert Lom or Patrick Magee?
Herbert Lom - unless you mean Patrick MacNee?
9) Which is your least favorite David Lynch film (Submitted by Tony Dayoub)
Gee, it turns out I've never seen anything but the "Twin Peaks" TV series and "Dune". So, I guess Dune. But I kind of like Dune.
10) Gordon Willis or Conrad Hall? (Submitted by Peet Gelderblom)
Pass.
11) Second favorite Don Siegel movie.
Dirty Harry - Favorite is The Big Steal.
12) Last movie you saw on DVD/Blu-ray? In theaters?
DVD: Star Trek: The Reboot. In theater - same as last time: the Hollywood premier of Larry Blamire's Dark and Stormy Night: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1245091/. RELEASE THIS MOVIE ON DVD! So I can buy it.
13) Which DVD in your private collection screams hardest to be replaced by a Blu-ray? (Submitted by Peet Gelderblom)
We don't have Blu-ray, so it's a moot point. We've got lots of VHS tapes that aren't released on DVD still - how about Hot Shorts, Firesign Theater's What's-Up-Tiger-Lily-ization of a bunch of Republic serials.
14) Eddie Deezen or Christopher Mintz-Plasse?
McLovin. But really, anyone who isn't Eddie Deezen. (OK, I liked him with Rainbeaux Smith in Laserblast).
15) Actor/actress who you feel automatically elevates whatever project they are in, or whom you would watch in virtually anything.
It's funny, I like everything I've seen Brendan Fraser in. Even if it is really a turkey, his niceness seems to make it all OK. Yes, that includes George of the Jungle.
16) Fight Club -- yes or no?
Heck, no. Only happy movies for me.
17) Teresa Wright or Olivia De Havilland? I've heard of De Havilland, so...
18) Favorite moment/line from a film noir. "I'll have few bad nights, but I'll get over it."
19) Best (or worst) death scene involving an obvious dummy substituting for a human or any other unsuccessful special effect(s)—see the wonderful blog Destructible Man for inspiration. The decapitation at the end of The Omen (is that the right movie?) is so obviously a process shot that it is shocking and funny.
20) What's the least you've spent on a film and still regretted it? (Submitted by Lucas McNelly) I was an usher at the opening of What's Up Doc?. Free and not worth it.
21) Van Johnson or Van Heflin?
Van Helfin for now. We just saw Act of Violence w/ him and Robert Ryan.23) Name a documentary that you believe more people should see. This is Spinal Tap.
24) In deference to this quiz’s professor, name a favorite film which revolves around someone becoming stranded.
I was trying to decide between Swept Away, We're Not Dressing, Admirable Crichton and all that ilk. Then my wife said: Robinson Crusoe on Mars.
25) Is there a moment when your knowledge of film, or lack thereof, caused you an unusual degree of embarrassment and/or humiliation? If so, please share. One time, I tried to hold my own in a film discussion with Time film critic Jay Cocks.
26) Ann Sheridan or Geraldine Fitzgerald? (Submitted by Larry Aydlette) Ann Sheridan - she wasn't in "Arthur".
27) Do you or any of your family members physically resemble movie actors or other notable figures in the film world? If so, who? My brother looks like Tom Selleck. It's the moustache
28) Is there a movie you have purposely avoided seeing? If so, why? Yes - thousands. All depressing, gross or horrible movies, plus all sticky, sentimental trite and tacky movies. It's a wonder we can watch anything.
29) Movie with the most palpable or otherwise effective wintry atmosphere or ambience. Pathfinder - filmed in Lapland in Saami, the Lap language. Haven't seen the remake w/ Vikings and Indians.
30) Gerrit Graham or Jeffrey Jones?
Jeffery Jones: "Too many notes, your majesty". Also, Mom and Dad Save the World.
31) The best cinematic antidote to a cultural stereotype (sexual, political, regional, whatever). Orlando Jones in Drumline, who counteracts the stereotype that black musicians are cool.
32) Second favorite John Wayne movie. Rio Bravo - Favorite is El Dorado.
33) Favorite movie car chase.
We tried, but we couldn't beat Bullit.
34) In the spirit of His Girl Friday, propose a gender-switched remake of a classic or not-so-classic film. (Submitted by Patrick Robbins) Put Michelle Rodriquez in the Vin Diesel role of The Fast and The Furious (any version) - or even in the John Ireland role from the original 1954 version.
35) Barbara Rhoades or Barbara Feldon?
Agent 99.
36) Favorite Andre De Toth movie.
Pass.
37) If you could take one filmmaker's entire body of work and erase it from all time and memory, as if it had never happened, whose oeuvre would it be? (Submitted by Tom Sutpen) Dino De Laurentiis.
38) Name a film you actively hated when you first encountered it, only to see it again later in life and fall in love with it.
We weren't at all impressed by Mel Brook's History of the World Pt. I, but have grown to love it for the catchphrases "Count DeMONET!", "It's good to be da king", the Inquisition number, etc.
39) Max Ophuls or Marcel Ophuls? (Submitted by Tom Sutpen)
Oh, Max, every time.
40) In which club would you most want an active membership, the Delta Tau Chi fraternity, the Cutters or the Warriors? And which member would you most resemble, either physically or in personality?
We saw Animal House at college and felt that OUR house was really fun and goofy, not lame like those Delta Tau Chi guys. I lived with Major Tom, D.W.I Griffith, the Fat Rogue, Dapper Disco Dan, Porkchop, but best of all, Bolo. They had Bluto, but we had Bolo (if you're reading this Bolo, you rock!).
41) Your favorite movie cliché.
The woman warrior in action flicks.
42) Vincente Minnelli or Stanley Donen? (Submitted by Bob Westal)
Stanley Donen - we love his style. Whereas Minelli is vulgar, garish and sentimental. The only Minelli I will accept is The Pirate.
43) Favorite Christmas-themed horror movie or sequence. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians - horrible enough for me.
44) Favorite moment of self- or selfless sacrifice in a movie. I actually don't know what movie this is from - saw just a few scenes in a bar. American soldiers or mercenaries invade an Asian village. An elder pulls out a machete and chops off his own hand, and cauterizes the wound in a fire. The children grab the soldier's gun barrels and press them to their own heads.
Basically, the villagers showed no fear of dying or pain, totally throwing the bad guys off until the good guys showed up. If you know the name of this, let me know - maybe starring Dolph Lundgren?
45) If you were the cinematic Spanish Inquisition, which movie cult (or cult movie) would you decimate? (Submitted by Bob Westal)
I'll go with the torture porn horror genre. Actually, it's existence doesn't bother me so much, but since I have the power...
46) Caroline Munro or Veronica Carlson?
Pass.
47) Favorite eye-patch wearing director. (Submitted by Patty Cozzalio)
Pass.
48) Favorite ambiguous movie ending. (Original somewhat ambiguous submission---“Something about ambiguous movie endings!”-- by Jim Emerson, who may have some inspiration of his own to offer you.)
"The End. Or IS IT?!?!"
49) In giving thanks for the movies this year, what are you most thankful for?
Netflix. I swear, it's my life.
50) George Kennedy or Alan North? (Submitted by Peet Gelderblom)
Can I write in Harrison Page, Capt. Trunk from "Sledge Hammer"?
Instead of just linking, I thought I'd post the whole thing here - mainly to fix some answers I messed up.
1) Second-favorite Coen Brothers movie.
"The Cooler" - technically not a Coen Bros. movie, so it fits.
2) Movie seen only on home format that you would pay to see on the biggest movie screen possible? (Question submitted by Peter Nellhaus)
Possibly nothing. We pretty much hate movie theaters.
3) Japan or France? (Question submitted by Bob Westal)
It's not just Kurosawa and Ozu vs. Truffaut and Godard, but for total corpus, I vote Japan. The breadth and width of the samurai movie genre alone guarantees it.
4) Favorite moment/line from a western.
"Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness." Or the opening barfight from Destry Rides Again (almost any moment from that movie).
5) Of all the arts the movies draw upon to become what they are, which is the most important, or the one you value most?
I'm going with visual composition - the look of a frame. The most basic.
6) Most misunderstood movie of the 2000s (The Naughties?).
Wish I could say Speed Racer, but I guess I agree with conventional wisdom - it was flashy fluff with no deeper meaning. I got nothing.
7) Name a filmmaker/actor/actress/film you once unashamedly loved who has fallen furthest in your esteem.
Woody Allen. I can't tell if his quality has fallen off or if the skeevieness of his private life has put me off.
8) Herbert Lom or Patrick Magee?
Herbert Lom - unless you mean Patrick MacNee?
9) Which is your least favorite David Lynch film (Submitted by Tony Dayoub)
Gee, it turns out I've never seen anything but the "Twin Peaks" TV series and "Dune". So, I guess Dune. But I kind of like Dune.
10) Gordon Willis or Conrad Hall? (Submitted by Peet Gelderblom)
Pass.
11) Second favorite Don Siegel movie.
Dirty Harry - Favorite is The Big Steal.
12) Last movie you saw on DVD/Blu-ray? In theaters?
DVD: Star Trek: The Reboot. In theater - same as last time: the Hollywood premier of Larry Blamire's Dark and Stormy Night: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1245091/. RELEASE THIS MOVIE ON DVD! So I can buy it.
13) Which DVD in your private collection screams hardest to be replaced by a Blu-ray? (Submitted by Peet Gelderblom)
We don't have Blu-ray, so it's a moot point. We've got lots of VHS tapes that aren't released on DVD still - how about Hot Shorts, Firesign Theater's What's-Up-Tiger-Lily-ization of a bunch of Republic serials.
14) Eddie Deezen or Christopher Mintz-Plasse?
McLovin. But really, anyone who isn't Eddie Deezen. (OK, I liked him with Rainbeaux Smith in Laserblast).
15) Actor/actress who you feel automatically elevates whatever project they are in, or whom you would watch in virtually anything.
It's funny, I like everything I've seen Brendan Fraser in. Even if it is really a turkey, his niceness seems to make it all OK. Yes, that includes George of the Jungle.
16) Fight Club -- yes or no?
Heck, no. Only happy movies for me.
17) Teresa Wright or Olivia De Havilland? I've heard of De Havilland, so...
18) Favorite moment/line from a film noir. "I'll have few bad nights, but I'll get over it."
19) Best (or worst) death scene involving an obvious dummy substituting for a human or any other unsuccessful special effect(s)—see the wonderful blog Destructible Man for inspiration. The decapitation at the end of The Omen (is that the right movie?) is so obviously a process shot that it is shocking and funny.
20) What's the least you've spent on a film and still regretted it? (Submitted by Lucas McNelly) I was an usher at the opening of What's Up Doc?. Free and not worth it.
21) Van Johnson or Van Heflin?
Van Helfin for now. We just saw Act of Violence w/ him and Robert Ryan.23) Name a documentary that you believe more people should see. This is Spinal Tap.
24) In deference to this quiz’s professor, name a favorite film which revolves around someone becoming stranded.
I was trying to decide between Swept Away, We're Not Dressing, Admirable Crichton and all that ilk. Then my wife said: Robinson Crusoe on Mars.
25) Is there a moment when your knowledge of film, or lack thereof, caused you an unusual degree of embarrassment and/or humiliation? If so, please share. One time, I tried to hold my own in a film discussion with Time film critic Jay Cocks.
26) Ann Sheridan or Geraldine Fitzgerald? (Submitted by Larry Aydlette) Ann Sheridan - she wasn't in "Arthur".
27) Do you or any of your family members physically resemble movie actors or other notable figures in the film world? If so, who? My brother looks like Tom Selleck. It's the moustache
28) Is there a movie you have purposely avoided seeing? If so, why? Yes - thousands. All depressing, gross or horrible movies, plus all sticky, sentimental trite and tacky movies. It's a wonder we can watch anything.
29) Movie with the most palpable or otherwise effective wintry atmosphere or ambience. Pathfinder - filmed in Lapland in Saami, the Lap language. Haven't seen the remake w/ Vikings and Indians.
30) Gerrit Graham or Jeffrey Jones?
Jeffery Jones: "Too many notes, your majesty". Also, Mom and Dad Save the World.
31) The best cinematic antidote to a cultural stereotype (sexual, political, regional, whatever). Orlando Jones in Drumline, who counteracts the stereotype that black musicians are cool.
32) Second favorite John Wayne movie. Rio Bravo - Favorite is El Dorado.
33) Favorite movie car chase.
We tried, but we couldn't beat Bullit.
34) In the spirit of His Girl Friday, propose a gender-switched remake of a classic or not-so-classic film. (Submitted by Patrick Robbins) Put Michelle Rodriquez in the Vin Diesel role of The Fast and The Furious (any version) - or even in the John Ireland role from the original 1954 version.
35) Barbara Rhoades or Barbara Feldon?
Agent 99.
36) Favorite Andre De Toth movie.
Pass.
37) If you could take one filmmaker's entire body of work and erase it from all time and memory, as if it had never happened, whose oeuvre would it be? (Submitted by Tom Sutpen) Dino De Laurentiis.
38) Name a film you actively hated when you first encountered it, only to see it again later in life and fall in love with it.
We weren't at all impressed by Mel Brook's History of the World Pt. I, but have grown to love it for the catchphrases "Count DeMONET!", "It's good to be da king", the Inquisition number, etc.
39) Max Ophuls or Marcel Ophuls? (Submitted by Tom Sutpen)
Oh, Max, every time.
40) In which club would you most want an active membership, the Delta Tau Chi fraternity, the Cutters or the Warriors? And which member would you most resemble, either physically or in personality?
We saw Animal House at college and felt that OUR house was really fun and goofy, not lame like those Delta Tau Chi guys. I lived with Major Tom, D.W.I Griffith, the Fat Rogue, Dapper Disco Dan, Porkchop, but best of all, Bolo. They had Bluto, but we had Bolo (if you're reading this Bolo, you rock!).
41) Your favorite movie cliché.
The woman warrior in action flicks.
42) Vincente Minnelli or Stanley Donen? (Submitted by Bob Westal)
Stanley Donen - we love his style. Whereas Minelli is vulgar, garish and sentimental. The only Minelli I will accept is The Pirate.
43) Favorite Christmas-themed horror movie or sequence. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians - horrible enough for me.
44) Favorite moment of self- or selfless sacrifice in a movie. I actually don't know what movie this is from - saw just a few scenes in a bar. American soldiers or mercenaries invade an Asian village. An elder pulls out a machete and chops off his own hand, and cauterizes the wound in a fire. The children grab the soldier's gun barrels and press them to their own heads.
Basically, the villagers showed no fear of dying or pain, totally throwing the bad guys off until the good guys showed up. If you know the name of this, let me know - maybe starring Dolph Lundgren?
45) If you were the cinematic Spanish Inquisition, which movie cult (or cult movie) would you decimate? (Submitted by Bob Westal)
I'll go with the torture porn horror genre. Actually, it's existence doesn't bother me so much, but since I have the power...
46) Caroline Munro or Veronica Carlson?
Pass.
47) Favorite eye-patch wearing director. (Submitted by Patty Cozzalio)
Pass.
48) Favorite ambiguous movie ending. (Original somewhat ambiguous submission---“Something about ambiguous movie endings!”-- by Jim Emerson, who may have some inspiration of his own to offer you.)
"The End. Or IS IT?!?!"
49) In giving thanks for the movies this year, what are you most thankful for?
Netflix. I swear, it's my life.
50) George Kennedy or Alan North? (Submitted by Peet Gelderblom)
Can I write in Harrison Page, Capt. Trunk from "Sledge Hammer"?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
French Spies
Back in the 60s, the French made a series of James Bond ripoff movies known as OSS 117. This series has been revived in OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies.
Jean Dujardin plays Hubert Bonissuer de la Bath, secret agent OSS 117. The year is 1955 and Hubert's WWII comrade Jack Jefferson has gone missing while investigating arms shipments in Cairo. Ah, Jack, Hubert remembers how they used to play on the beach, roll together in the surf, throw their heads back and laugh...
Where was I? Oh yes, Cairo. OSS 117 is sent to find out what is happening. He discovers that it is a nest of spies: Russian, English, American, and most dangerous of all, Belgian. He has a beautiful female assistant who is somehow insulted when Hubert tells her the Islam is a stupid religion that people will get tired of soon enough. He is mainly concerned about getting to try out his new tuxedo. He punches out the muezzin so he can get some sleep.
De la Bath bumbles through the film like Inspector Clousseau, incredibly inept but coming out on top every time (and getting the girl). Dujardin does a brilliant job, channeling Jean-Paul Belmondo (who starred in a lot of these 60s/70s Bond knockoffs) and Sean Connery, by way of Don Adams and Steve Carrell. He would make this movie worthwhile even if it had been a lot weaker. But it was actually very funny.
So, we now want to watch some Belmondo and, finally, the Steve Carrell Get Smart. One question: when will the sequel, OSS 117: Lost in Rio, be available?
Jean Dujardin plays Hubert Bonissuer de la Bath, secret agent OSS 117. The year is 1955 and Hubert's WWII comrade Jack Jefferson has gone missing while investigating arms shipments in Cairo. Ah, Jack, Hubert remembers how they used to play on the beach, roll together in the surf, throw their heads back and laugh...
Where was I? Oh yes, Cairo. OSS 117 is sent to find out what is happening. He discovers that it is a nest of spies: Russian, English, American, and most dangerous of all, Belgian. He has a beautiful female assistant who is somehow insulted when Hubert tells her the Islam is a stupid religion that people will get tired of soon enough. He is mainly concerned about getting to try out his new tuxedo. He punches out the muezzin so he can get some sleep.
De la Bath bumbles through the film like Inspector Clousseau, incredibly inept but coming out on top every time (and getting the girl). Dujardin does a brilliant job, channeling Jean-Paul Belmondo (who starred in a lot of these 60s/70s Bond knockoffs) and Sean Connery, by way of Don Adams and Steve Carrell. He would make this movie worthwhile even if it had been a lot weaker. But it was actually very funny.
So, we now want to watch some Belmondo and, finally, the Steve Carrell Get Smart. One question: when will the sequel, OSS 117: Lost in Rio, be available?
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
First Fast and Furious
We have now seen the first Vin Diesel-era F&F: The Fast and the Furious. It turns out that Fast and Furious is simply the sequel to this. That would make it much simpler, if we cared about the plot of these things at all.
Paul Walker is a cute guy who is macking on Vin Diesel's sister, trying to get into Diesel's street racing gang, and, ultimately, spying on him for the LAPD/FBI. Vin is a tough, taciturn racer with a hot girlfriend (Michelle Rodriguez!), a loyal team of mechanics and rough necks and the respect of friends and enemies on the street racing circuit.
The "plot" is about Walker's romance with Vin's sister, his self-doubts about betraying his outlaw friends, Vin's nihilist racing philosophy ("One quarter-mile at a time"), some Asian gangsters, etc. But the real action is the racing.
Most of the racing takes place on the streets of LA - Culver City, El Segunda, Long Beach. It's pretty thrilling, not a lot of special effects faking. The edge always goes to the guy who uses nitrous - are NOS systems really so popular in street racing?
I guess I liked the sequel better, but this is a solid F&F movie. And now we've seen them all except 2 Fast 2 Furious. Coming soon.
Paul Walker is a cute guy who is macking on Vin Diesel's sister, trying to get into Diesel's street racing gang, and, ultimately, spying on him for the LAPD/FBI. Vin is a tough, taciturn racer with a hot girlfriend (Michelle Rodriguez!), a loyal team of mechanics and rough necks and the respect of friends and enemies on the street racing circuit.
The "plot" is about Walker's romance with Vin's sister, his self-doubts about betraying his outlaw friends, Vin's nihilist racing philosophy ("One quarter-mile at a time"), some Asian gangsters, etc. But the real action is the racing.
Most of the racing takes place on the streets of LA - Culver City, El Segunda, Long Beach. It's pretty thrilling, not a lot of special effects faking. The edge always goes to the guy who uses nitrous - are NOS systems really so popular in street racing?
I guess I liked the sequel better, but this is a solid F&F movie. And now we've seen them all except 2 Fast 2 Furious. Coming soon.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Sung the Praises
This one was for Mrs. Spenser: Forbidden Warrior. An American-made kung-fu costumer, it had one attraction - Sung Kang, the Korean actor who played Han in F&F: Tokyo Drift (and the beginning of Fast and Furious). She thinks he's cute and who am I to argue?
Forbidden Warrior is set in an ancient land (Griffith Park, Bronson Canyon and similar locations) with warlords, monks and pirates, about 75% Asian ancestry, 25% whatever. An ancient prophecy foretold the birth of a boy who could read the book of magic called "Gaia Za" - yeah, right. Anyway, turns out it's a girl (Mari Matiko), who is raised by a mystical monk, while the warlord's two sons try to kill her. One is evil (Ron Yuan) and the other is good (Sung Kang). Guess which one the girl falls for?
Really, the movie isn't that bad. Sung Kang gets a bunch of comic relief followers - Mouse, a hunchbacked bucktoothed traitor, Jibberish, Jon-Lovitz-looking guy who speaks great wisdom that nobody can understand, except Tall-Tall, a giant idiot who can translate for Jibberish. Not bad comic relief, in other words. Likewise, there's some good scenery to chew, a story that is no more pointless than most martial arts films, decent costumes, etc. If the action scenes were better, this wouldn't be half-bad.
The action scenes are not good. I'm sorry, Ron Yuan - you did a fine job as the bad guy, but as fight director, you were mediocre at best. By the way, we loved you as David Park in Fast & Furious.
So, not a bad film overall. It would have been good with better action scenes. But that's true of about any movie you could name. Put about 30 minutes of Jet Li or Jackie Chan action into Titanic, say, and I'd watch it.
Oh well, Sung Kang is coming up in Ninja Assassin, with Korean pretty boy popstar Rain. Mrs. Spenser should be pleased.
Forbidden Warrior is set in an ancient land (Griffith Park, Bronson Canyon and similar locations) with warlords, monks and pirates, about 75% Asian ancestry, 25% whatever. An ancient prophecy foretold the birth of a boy who could read the book of magic called "Gaia Za" - yeah, right. Anyway, turns out it's a girl (Mari Matiko), who is raised by a mystical monk, while the warlord's two sons try to kill her. One is evil (Ron Yuan) and the other is good (Sung Kang). Guess which one the girl falls for?
Really, the movie isn't that bad. Sung Kang gets a bunch of comic relief followers - Mouse, a hunchbacked bucktoothed traitor, Jibberish, Jon-Lovitz-looking guy who speaks great wisdom that nobody can understand, except Tall-Tall, a giant idiot who can translate for Jibberish. Not bad comic relief, in other words. Likewise, there's some good scenery to chew, a story that is no more pointless than most martial arts films, decent costumes, etc. If the action scenes were better, this wouldn't be half-bad.
The action scenes are not good. I'm sorry, Ron Yuan - you did a fine job as the bad guy, but as fight director, you were mediocre at best. By the way, we loved you as David Park in Fast & Furious.
So, not a bad film overall. It would have been good with better action scenes. But that's true of about any movie you could name. Put about 30 minutes of Jet Li or Jackie Chan action into Titanic, say, and I'd watch it.
Oh well, Sung Kang is coming up in Ninja Assassin, with Korean pretty boy popstar Rain. Mrs. Spenser should be pleased.
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