Babble on

I don't really know what to say about Babylon A.D. It sounds pretty promising in overview: Vin Diesel is a lone mercenary in the near future Eastern Europe. He is hired to transport a beautiful and innocent young woman from a convent in Kyrgyzstan to New York, accompanied by her guardian nun, Maggie Cheung. On the way, there is plenty of dystopian mayhem and even some David Belle parkour hi-jinks. What could go wrong?

1. The plot is a total mess. It vaguely makes sense, but doesn't exactly hold together. It was made from a Maurice Dantec's Babylon Babies, a novel that must be beloved by someone. I bet they had to leave a lot out.
2. The action is not that well staged or edited. The car chases are OK, but the fist fights and melees are definitely lacking. David Belle's troupe is definitely wasted. The missile drones vs snowmobile scene wasn't bad, but didn't really ignite for me.
   
3. Maggie Cheung, thrown away on a role that was way beneath her.

So, was it that bad? I guess not. I like Vin Diesel, though Mrs. Spenser thinks he looks like a soft guy who thinks he is tough. The McGuffin girl, played by Melanie Thierry, is a doll. Too bad she is so similar to The Fifth Element's LeeLoo (Milla Jovovich). By the way, Thierry Arbogast was cinematographer for that film as well as Babylon A.D. Coincidence?

In fact, the art direction is quite nice, if you like post-apocalyptics, and don't mind a lot of product placement (thanks, Bowflex, Oakley, Coke!). Really, it's just a run-of-the-mill big-budget action flick. Better than some, but not better than many.