Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a Pirate's Life For Me!

What could be cooler than pirates, huh? A pirate double bill, maybe? The Yankee Buccaneer / Double Crossbones DVD might be just what you are looking for.

Double Crossbones features Donald O'Connor as a shopboy who falls among pirates. The only way out for him is to become a pirate captain himself. He gets to do a little crazy legs dancing, some swashbuckling, and he wins the girl, played by Helena Carter. In the process he meets several famous captains, including Blackbeard, Capt. Morgan, Ben Avery, Capt. Kidd and Anne Bonney. Bonney is played by the large and homely Hope Emerson, in a style that would have done Margaret Hamilton proud.

I'm a big fan of O'Connor's physical comedy, and he didn't get to make many movies, so this was a must for me.

Yankee Buccaneer is a bit more serious. It stars Jeff Chandler as a straitlaced naval commander who is ordered to turn pirate and find out who is behind all the piracy in the Caribbean. He runs into Suzan Bell as a Portuguese senhorita who gives him the info that he needs. It doesn't make any sense to me, but for him, it cracks the case wide open.

There are a few sea battles, some melees on land, and capture by Carib Indians - led by Jay Silverheels! This is really pretty tepid fare, but Jeff Chandler has a certain allure. He is absurdly handsome, but he also looks exactly like Eugene Levey of SCTV.

In conclusion, what is cooler than pirates? I'd say, robots and ninjas, but not monkeys or zombies. But robot monkey ninjas vs zombie pirates? I'll leave that one up to you.

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