Nobody Else

Love Hurts (2025) is basically Nobody with Ke Huy Quan in place of Bob Odenkirk. But we like both of those things, so we watched it.

Quan is a humble, lovable, nerdy real estate agent. He loves his job and he's good at it (although someone keeps putting mustaches on his picture on the For Sale signs). On Valentine's Day, everyone is decorating the office, except Quan's admin, Lio Tipton, a depressed, nihlisitic young woman. Quan gives her some wise words about loving making homes for people, and she mentions someone is waiting in his office.

That someone is knife assassin and poet Mustafa Shakir. Quan has been getting notes from someone who might have been his ex - someone who should be dead. And Shakir wants to know where she is, for his boss, Daniel Wu, Quan's brother. A fight ensues. Turns out Quan isn't just a real estate agent - he can really fight.

To cut to the chase, his boss wants to find Quan's ex, Ariana DeBose, because he thinks she stole from him. Quan was supposed to have killed her but he let her go. 

After he beats up Shakir, he slips out of the office, letting Tipton find a dead (unconscious) poet there. You see, Shakir keeps a notebook of his deep thoughts, anf Tipton falls for him deeply. Quan fights another couple of bumbling assassins, and also gets a Realtor of the Year award from his boss, Sean Astin. Quan is deeply touched, and sincerely grateful for Astin's mentorship. But also needs to get out fast.

He finds DeBose working in a bar (like Michelle Yeoh!). She wants to stop hiding, take on Wu, and especially, shake Quan out of his civilian complacency, and get back the wild animal she knows is inside him. 

That's the setup, how's the execution? In some flashbacks, we see gangsta Quan, with a skinny mustache like some Jo Shishido crime boss. It's not entirely convincing. His fighting is clearly inspired by Jackie Chan - his goofy look, the tricks and twists - and it is pretty convincing. His romance with DeBose, again, not so much. But his love for the square life of a real estate agent is 100%. He cherishes his award, and even tries to break off a fight to get a couple signed to buy the house he's fighting in. His love for Astin, and Astin's love and pride for him, is goofy but sincere.

And that's one problem with the movie. We buy the realtor, but not the assassin. We love the fight scenes, but does Quan? I wonder if this will get a sequel, and how they might handle it.

We also recognize that this movie, like Section 31, is basically stupid, derivative, and crass. But we enjoyed the heck out of it. A couple of charismatic actors, some action, some romance, a few jokes and we're satisfied.