Yippee Kay Yay Old Guy

When did Bruce Willis become the grumpy geezer who is too old for this shit? I think he was doing that act in Die Hard II - any earlier? He really locks it down in Red.

He plays a retired government killer who spends his days waiting for his retirement check - so he can tear it up and call Mary-Louise Masterson Parker at the agency to complain. She is a cute clerk who likes to read romance novels and chat with old guys on the phone at work.

One day a black ops wetwork team come to take Willis out. Like that is going to work. He decides that Parker is probably implicated, so he picks her up and goes on the lam to kill people and blow things up. He starts collecting his old team, getting the band back together.

Yes, Morgan Freeman actually says, "We're getting the band back together." Your reaction to this information may determine how you feel about this movie.

Other members of the team include John Malkovich as a paranoid assassin brain damaged by psy-war experimentation, and refined killer Helen Mirren. I can't stand Malkovich in dramatic roles - he's too creepy with eyes too close together and the forehead and weird speech cadence. But as a psycho in comedy, he's a hoot. Mirren is wonderful - I hate to say she's too good for the picture, but she can do this little thing with her eyes that is electrifying. A real actress when everyone else is kind of phoning it in.

Nothing wrong with phoning in a performance in a casual fun little action comedy like this. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, except the people who get blown to bits by an RPG. My only reservation would be with Parker's role as Willis' girlfriend. The idea is that she's a homebody who dreams of adventure and romance, then gets it. Her part is a little underwritten, though, and she doesn't have the chemistry with Willis to pull it off. It's a thankless role anyway,

In conclusion, I have no idea who was trying to kill Willis or why. Just glad that they did. He may be old, but not ready to retire.