Land of the Lost

We didn't need to see any reviews to know that In the Lost Lands (2025). It was directed by Paul W.S. Anderson and stars his muse and wife Mila Jovovich, with Dave Bautista along for the ride. Obvious junk, but just the kind of junk we love.

It's set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland - everything outside of the one city is the Lost Lands. That city is ruled by the Overlord and his queen, and under the control of the church. Arly Jover, the church enforcer is hanging Mila Jovovich. Jovovich is a witch named Grey Alys - her powers allow her escape, with Jover in pursuit. 

Bautista is a bounty hunter (?), dressed in cowboy hat and bad-ass long coat, who is being ambushed by a gang of baddies. He dispatches them with his two-headed snake and several fire arms. He meets with the queen (Amara Okereke) and her protector (Simon Lööf), and over his objections, sleeps with her.

The queen finds Jovovich and asks her to go on a mission - find a shapeshifting werewolf, and bring his power to her. Jovovich must accepts all commissions, and so she accepts this. She will need a guide in the Lost Lands, so she hunts up Bautista.

I'll leave off describing the plot. Of course, they go adventuring through various locales such as the Trading Post, the Pit of Despair, Evil River, umm... Nasty Ravine? There are ruins aplenty, and steampunk contraptions like a schoolbus turned into an aerial tram. I've seen comments that it's confusing, but I didn't find it to be - maybe I was missing something. Anyway, it's based on a George R.R. Martin story, although it a a touch of the Stephen King Gunslinger to it. I liked to steampunk Western fantasy feel.

I also like Mila Jovovich. She looks lovelier than ever, with a line of tattoos across her face. I bought her as an ageless witch. Bautista looks fine, but is a little po-faced and serious. I think he does better in a comic role. Still, he looks reliably bad ass, and does have a two-headed snake.

I was expecting something more knowingly dumb, like Borderlands. Instead, it was done totally straight - any humor was unintentional. It was also darker in lighting and grimier in design. But it was just as much fun. Maybe a little less, because it didn't have the same budget. Maybe a little more, because of the auteur P.W.S. Anderson.