Desert Planet

I mentioned a while ago that we got another movie because it had a similar movie to Monster Hunter (2021). We watched this one because a few previews made it look like fun. I don't think it even registered that it was directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, and starred his wife Mila Jovavich and Tony Jaa.

It starts with Mila leading two or three transports worth of American Rangers in Afghanistan. One of her men shouts - "Look! On your twelve!" At this point Ms. Spenser asked, "Isn't your twelve right in front of you?" As it turns out, their twelve is their most vulnerable spot. What was approaching from dead ahead is a wall of dust, clouds, lightning, etc. They can't outrun it, and wind up engulfed. When they come out, they are in another world.

It isn't immediately obvious, because this world is another desert - but different from the Afghan one. More dunes. Also - monsters. These monsters aren't that cool or creative, but they are big and hard to kill. They retreat to a cave, and some cave spider monsters attack them, killing everyone but Mila. She seems pretty hard to kill. I actually expected to hear some nonsense about healing times in this dimension, but no - just a badass.

We've seen glimpses of another badass, Tony Jaa, up on the cliffs silently sighting down an explosive arrow. When he meets Jovavich, they fight, but eventually come to a truce, when she offers him chocolate. That's the only English word he speaks. I guess he's speaking Otherworldly, or maybe Thai.

So that's it - Jaa will help her get back to her world. There's a gather-weapons montage, which puts a superbig blade in her hands. Because badass. They also find Tony's people, lead by Ron Silver, who can speak English, and also helps out.

I was hoping they'd get back to Earth so Tony can get more chocolate, and they do. But SPOILER some monsters come with. Sequel setup?

Anyway, this was fun, if not quite as much fun as it could have been. Mila is good, although everyone seems too into being a soldier, with "Hoo-rah", Jodie songs, and the perennial "On your twelve!". Jaa is underused, and there isn't anyone else except monsters for most of the movie. But that's pretty much what we signed up for. This is Paul W.S. "Not that other" Anderson.

At least we didn't get any sandworms.