Saturday, December 12, 2015

Seven Vampires for Seven Brothers

As I have said, I haven't seen many of the classic Hammer horror movies, but I have seen one of the strangest: Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974). Let's say you like Hammer horror, but maybe your getting a little tired of the formula. Maybe you also like Shaw Brothers Hong Kong action movies. What would you say if we mixed them together? (!?!?!)

That's right, this is a Hammer/Shaw Bros. joint production. It starts with an evil monk travelling to Transylvania to meet Count Dracula. He wants the Count to come to China and help him revive the seven golden vampires, to make his temple feared again. That doesn't work out do well for him, and the Count takes his shape and does indeed go to China. This is a good choice for Dracula, because he is not played by Christopher Lee, and looks a bit silly.

A little while later, Dr. Van Helsing (who is played by Peter Cushing) is lecturing on vampires in a Chinese college. Of course, they called him mad at the academy - all except one student, Wong Han Chan, who can lead him to the village of the seven golden vamps. With Hammer girl Julie Ege supplying the money and cleavage, the set off.

Add in Van Helsing's son, a rather Terence Stamp-like Robin Stewart, and Wong's 6 brothers and a sister, and you've got a story.

But I'm leaving out the nonlinear craziness - parts of this seem to have been edited in a blender. Also, there were seven vampires, but one gets his golden bat removed, so that's six. Then Dracula comes, so, seven again, but the other one gets his bat back, so eight. And there are seven Chinese brothers fighting them, but what about the sister?

 That's fine, you don't come for straightforward storytelling. You come for horror, breastses, and kung fu. You'll get 'em and plenty.


mr. schprock said...

Nice try selling this movie.

Beveridge D. Spenser said...

I didn't even mention that I fell asleep during the penultimate battle scene, so I had to watch the drive-in edit on the flip side of the DVD. And fell asleep for that.