OK, we saw The Expendables 2, the second film in the series of action films featuring every action hero they Sylvester Stallone could round up. They lost Mickey Rourke from this one, but got Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme.
This outing has the team on a "routine" extraction in from China. We meet a guy who wasn't in the last movie, Liam Hemsworth, playing Billy the Kid. Since he's wearing a red shirt with a target on the back, and he spends a lot of time talking about his beautiful wife and how he was going to quit this dangerous business after one last mission, and everybody calls him "Dead Meat", you can kind of guess how long he lasts in this one.
So, the rest of the movie is a revenge tale set in some Balkan country, due to low cost of filming. JCVD plays the villain, named Vilain (which I think is kind of funny). Jet Li isn't used much, because he was doing another movie at the same time. Chuck Norris works alone and drops the occasional one-liner. Randy Couture doesn't have anything to do, because, I guess, Randy Couture. Jason Statham has the decency to look embarrassed. Stallone seems to be having a ball, and starts to let the kitsch out towards the end when Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis show up to fight, instead of just jaw like in the first film.
Look, you know me - I like stupid action films. But I like them better when they have a little self-respect. Sticking your tongue in your cheek and pretending it's all just a goof is fine unless you just add that in at the end when you realize you can't keep a straight face.
Oh well, maybe I just wasn't in the right mood, but this one didn't work for me. But I'll probably watch Expendables 3.