Tanks for the Memories

As promised, Not As Bad As You Had Always Heard It Was Theater presents Tank Girl. So, how was it? Not very good, but not as bad as you heard it was.

Tank Girl takes place in a near future dystopia, where all the water is gone, except that controlled by the evil Water and Power corporation, headed by Malcolm McDowell. There are some holdouts, like Tank Girl's punker commune. Tank Girl is a Lori Petty, playing Madonna punk-rock style. When the corporation destroys her commune, kills all her friends and imprisons her, she gets mad. She steals a tank, with the help of a scared, nerdy jet mechanic she calls Jet Girl (Naomi Watts, in a nice quiet turn). Sadly, the soundtrack doesn't use "Jet Boy Jet Girl".

The sound track (music director, Courtney Love-Cobain) is a compendium of classic punk ("Blank Generation") and post-punk (Hole gets one song), plus a kick-ass Joan Jett version of Cole Porter's "Let's Do It".

This movie is basically Tank Girl getting into trouble, mouthing off, blowing things up, sleeping with human-kangaroo mutants, etc. This is interspersed with the cartoon version of same (Tank Girl was originally a comic). Um, unfortunately, the comic Tank Girl looks a lot better. The live action version is a bit too glam to be punk, too real for the pure anarchy that she is supposed to embody.

Also, although she kicks ass and takes no shit from anyone, she is not that good. She is constantly getting captured or beaten because she is very sloppy and not that competent. Her partner Jet Girl is a lot more together and, really, doesn't get to do anything.

Still, this isn't a terrible movie. It is about as punk as Desperately Seeking Susan, with a cameo by Iggy Pop. I can't off-hand think of any female action hero who is as ineffectual as Tank Girl, but she has her moments.

In conclusion, think how bad it would have been with Madonna in the lead role.