The Angel and the Bad Man

I've known of Yolanda and the Thief (1945) as a batshit crazy fever dream musical for a while now. I got the idea that it wasn't that good, but was weird, which of course piqued my interest. It wasn't that easy to come by, so when I saw it at the library (they got a Warners Archive copy), I rented it. Surprisingly, Ms. Spenser, not an Astaire fan, voted to watch.

It takes place in an imaginary country, Patria. It is a colorful country, full of painted backdrops, peasant children and llamas. Lucille Bremer is Yolanda, a naive and devout convent school student who has just turned 18. (One of the writers also wrote the Madeline books, so convent schools were a speciality.)

Bremer will be leaving to the convent to take over her family business, which owns pretty much the whole country. But she has no head for business or desire for wealth, and is not looking forward to outside life. She needs a guardian angel.

Also in Patria are conmen Fred Astaire and Frank Morgan, who set out to fleece Yolanda. When Astaire tries to climb the wall of their estate, he hears her praying to a guardian angel, asking for help with managing all her responsibilities. He comes up with a plan: He will pretend to be her guardian angel, and relieve her of her money problems by taking her money.

Although Frank Morgan is appalled, the plan works well. But there's another conman luring around, one with an honest face, Leon Ames (I bet he doesn't get that a lot - doesn't he play mostly villains?). Plus the constant problem - love.

This movie is mostly famed for its two extended dance scenes. First is a dream ballet, where Fred is tempted to marry Bremer, but his past, represented by four color-coded floozies and their rough companions. The dance takes place on a surrealistic plane, with simplistic sets. The second takes place during carnival, and is set to an odd song - "Coffee Time". There's a weird op-art dance floor, and an folkloric rhythm and melody that turns into jazz. I have to say, neither the songs nor the dancing are really top notch. Astaire seranades Bremer on the harp (he's an angel, see), with a jazzy number very reminiscent of Harpo. 

This is also a comedy where most of the jokes fall flat. So, weak jokes, songs, dances - Astaire is unappealing and Bremer not that charismatic. What is there to like? Vincent Minelli's direction. I am not much of a fan - I find him slick and garish most of the time. But the colors and abstract compositions make this story work. I can see why som many love him. Both Ms. Spenser and I had a great time. 

In conclusion, Mildred Natwick as Yolanda's batty aunt is a lot of fun too. 

Thief of Time

We put on The Thief of Bagdad (1924) thinking it would be nice and short. It was better than nice and a lot longer than short. 

This is a silent film starring Douglas Fairbanks. He is a thief who takes whatever he wants - when he sees something he wants, his palms itch and he makes unconscious grasping gestures. He steals a magic rope and climbs it to discover the beautiful princess, Julianne Johnston. He wants her, but despairs of getting her. His partner in crime, Snits Edward, reminds him that Haroun-a-Rashid stole a princess, why couldn't he. So he sneaks into her boudoir.

But when he sees her, he is overcome by her beauty and abandons his scheme. Snits hears that her father, the Caliph, is entertaining suitors for her hand and they steal some fine clothes and join the nobles contending for her. One is Prince of the Indies, played by African American Noble Johnson. Another is the fat Prince of Persia, played by Mathilde Comont, a woman. Finally, the crafty Prince of the Mongols, Sojin Kamiyama. 

Johnston favors Fairbanks, and he secretly confesses to her that he is only a lowly thief. But her Mongol slave, Anna May Wong, is a spy, and she tells Kamiyama. Fairbanks is exposed, tortured and almost killed by the court wizard's giant ape. 

To buy time, Johnston says that she will marry the man who brings her the best and rarest wedding present in seven months. Fairbanks meets an imam, who tells him where a great treasure can be found, and advises him to be bold. Not a problem for Fairbanks!

So we have seven months of adventuring for Fairbanks and the princes. There are monster lizards, giant bats, flying carpets, crystal balls, flying horses, and so on. And it looks like the Mongol prince is going to invade Bagdad whether he gets the princess or not. Only Fairbanks can save the day and win the princess.

We loved this whole thing. It was amazingly stylized, with beautiful compositions and Fairbanks leaping and posing like Nijinsky. Wes Anderson must have loved this. There were some great character actors, like Snits, and throw in a bunch of elephants, camels and donkeys. The score in the disc we got (Criterion? I forget now) was based on Rimsky-Korsakov and very lovely. 

But it took us three days to get through this - this nice, short silent is two hours and twenty minutes long!

Cup of Coffee

As mentioned previously, we have loved A Girl, a Guy, and a Gob (1941) for a long time, but never blogged it. So here we go.

Edmund O'Brien is taking his society fiancee and future mother-in-law to the opera, but he can't find his tickets. Since he is a season box holder, they let him in anyway and take them to his box - where he finds a family of commoners: Lucille Ball, her deaf-ish dad, batty mom and sketchy brother Pigeon (Lloyd Corrigan). Since they have tickets, O'Brien's party is deated on the floor, of all things. Of course, Ball figures out that Pigeon lifted or found the tickets, and they really did belong to O'Brien.

At the office the next day, O'Brien's shipping business is in full swing, but his secretary has eloped. One of the first applicants for the job is Ball. She apologizes for the night before, and tries to leave. But a phone cal comes in, and Ball is a very good secretary. It's too bad she's so clumsy, and that O'Brien's fiancee shows up just when she'd fallen into his lap.

Now we meet the real star of the show, George Murphy as sailor "Coffee" Cup. He is as caffeinated as his name, full of energy and good spirits. He grew up with Ball, calls her Spindle-Shanks and hopes to marry her, now that his hitch in the Navy is done. He just needs a little money.

On the street, he runs into his fellow sailor Doodles Weaver, and claims he can grow 4 inches. A crowd gathers and people start making bets. O'Brien, who works across the street, is enlisted to mark the 4-inch target as Doodles squirms and loosens up to gain height. The excitement grows, a fight breaks out and O'Brien gets decked.

He comes to in Ball's apartment with her wacky family and some sailors. He has so much fun, he agrees to go dancing with them - although he has a date with his fiancee at the symphony. And as he dances with Ball, well, you can see where this is going.

Coffee Cup needs to get some money up for the wedding, but all of his schemes backfire. Richard Lane, his recruiting officer, keeps trying to tempt him to re-up, invoking the beautiful women he could meet at sea. Meanwhile, O'Brien's father's old pal and business partner keeps telling O'Brien that he needs to loosen up, get into more fights with sailors - that's whar the shipping industry used to be about.

I'm sure you can figure out who ends up with the girl, and who goes back to sea.

This is a fun, fast paced movie, directed by Richard Wallace and produced by Harold Lloyd. It's full of great charactr actors - Doodles Weaver! - and wacky hi-jinx. But George O'Brien (R. Sen. CA) makes it perfect. His energy, confidence and love of life makes this movie so much fun to watch. Makes you want to change your life. 

Two Tough Blondes

I can get to be a little bit completist for some sorts of movies - often older series, like the Torchie Blaine movies. So when I found out that Glenda Farrell and Joan Blondell made 5 movies together, i went out and bought the four that I could find: 

Havana Widows (1933) is sort of the gold standard. Farrell an Blondell are chorus girls who are barely making it. An old friend drops by in a limousine, covered in furs and diamonds, and lets them in on a secret. There are a ton of old millionaires in Havana who can be sued for breach of promise. She even gave them the name of a crooked lawyer, Frank McHugh. 

They try to get travelling money from their lowlife friend Alan Jenkins, who borrows it from his mobster boss, Ralph Ince - and then loses it gambling. When they do get some money, Jenkins joins them to avoid his boss. 

They target married Guy Kibbee to entrap, but Blondell falls for his son, Lyle Talbott, who has no money of his own. And so it goes. Two gold diggers with hearts of gold, a bunch of great character actors, everyone playing drunk most of the time, and a sort of happy ending. Lots of laughs, and a one hout runtime.

I’ve Got Your Number (1934) is really more of a Pat O'Brien movie. After a couple of montages about our nations switchboards, we find O'Brien installing or fixing phones with his partner Alan Jenkins. On a call to an apartment full of babes,  he trades sexy barbs with them, but Jenkins just says, "Let's get outta here," his catchphrase in this movie. O'Brien has a romance with switchboard operator Joan Blondell, but also runs with phony fortune teller Glenda Farrell. 

This one has more plot (which I couldn't really follow, due to asleepiness) and less romance. Also less Farrell, sadly. But plenty of sadsack Alan Jenkins.

Traveling Saleslady (1935) has Blondell as the doting daughter of an old-fashioned manufacturer, Grant Mitchell. She wants some modern advertising, but he won't budge. He prefers the old ways of his number one salesman, William Gargan. It turns out his method is to take the buyers out on the town with some party girls. For women buyers like Farrell, he woos them himself.

Blondell comes across Hugh Herbert, an ex-bootlegger who has a lot of alcohol flavoring - he proposes to make booze-flavored toothpaste. Blondell takes the idea to a competitor (Al Shean!), and secretly takes a job selling this as a travelling saleslady. So she starts a rivalry with Gargan, and it develops into a romance. Sadly, Farrell is very much short changed here.

Miss Pacific Fleet (1935) again has Blondell and Farrell broke - this time working a carnival. Alan Jenkins plays Blondell's guy, a sailor on leave named Kewpie. When he finds out they are broke, he suggests they enter the Miss Pacific Fleet contest. The winner will be chosen by vote, plus some boosts by, for example, the winner of a fleet boxing competition.

But he also introduces Blondell to his pal Warren Hull. And while Jenkins is a whirlwind of energy and a boxing champion, he looks like Alan Jenkins. So Blondell falls for Hull. Jenkins realizes this in the middle of the boxing match and gives his endorsement to Marie Wilson (My Friend Irma). The competition is run by Hugh Herbert, and his wife is jealous of Blondell, leading to more hi-jinks. 

I liked all of these, but they mostly suffered by leaning too heavily on Blondell and neglecting Farrell. They should be a team (maybe stealing each other's guys), trying to entrap rich old millionaires while falling in love withh hunky young paupers, surrounded by goofball character actors like Hugh Herbert and particularly, Alan Jenkins. His "Kewpie" goes down in film history along with George O'Brien's Coffee Cupp - say, I never did blog about him. OK, that's next. 

Girls Are Doing It - Wrong?

I know I've sworn off woman-lead action films at least once. But I keep coming back - if they are well done, they can be more fun than more traditional male-lead actioners. Here are some recent ones I've watched:

The gimmick in Avarice (2022) is that Gillian Alexy is an accomplished archer. Other than that, she's a mother whose teen daughter is cold and aloof, and her husband is more interested in business deals than in her. But her father was an Olympic archer and he has been training her - although she loses the big match at the start. So what happens when a bunch o masked thugs take her family hostage? Will she use her archery skills to save them? Kind of. Skewers a couple, misses a few more. The lead baddy is Alexandra Nell, a tough combat-hardened woman. Who Alexy kills with an arrow - but by stabbing her with it.

This was directed by Australian John V. Soto. I don't think I'll be looking for his other movies. 

Cleaner (2025) stars Daisy Ridley as a window cleaner for a high-tech office building in London. She has an autistic brother (played by Matthew Tuck, who is autistic) who is always breaking out of care homes to try and tag along with her. Some eco-terrorist group takes over the building during a big energy company's shareholder meeting, leaving Daisy and Tuck as the only good guys left free. But Daisy is stuck outside the building, with her harness controlled by the terrorists above. And Tuck is armed only with a plastic Thor hammer. 

The terrorists are holding the board hostage, and forcing them to confess their crimes. But a young member of the group, Taz Tyler, doesn't think leader Clive Owen is radical enough, so he kills him. Now it becomes a mass-murder/suicide.

This one is better, with Daisy Ridle doing a great job, and her brother adding a little human interest and some humor. It was directed by Martin Campbell, whose Protege is one of the movies that turned me off to women in action (although one of the better ones). Still, it was pretty predictable, and had plot holes galore - like Daisy trying to break a window to get inside, when there was a broken window right above her. 

Finally, G20 (2025). Here we have Viola Davis as the president of the United States - yeah! - attending a meeting of the leaders of the G20, twenty wealthy nations. It's taking place in an fortress-like hotel, so when the terrorists take these leaders hostage, there's no easy way out or in. Davis shows up with her husband, Anthony Anderson and her teen daughter, who got into trouble at school for hacking (minor plot point). When the private security team handling the event turns out to be the bad guys, Davis has to use her skills as a war hero to get everyone released. 

See the pattern? Hostages, building take-overs, troublesome teens and special skills. Probably coincidence. 

One of the nice things about G20 is the treatment of the First Gentleman. He takes the job of getting himslef and his daughter out of harm's way, so Davis can concentrate on kicking butt. Which she does magnificently. The biggest advantage this movie has is that she looks awesome. She wears a red gown, but refuses to wear heels, so she is fighting in couture with red sneakers. She looks badass. I hope this isn't insensitive to either, but she reminds me of Serena Williams - her powerful build and indomitable spirit. This plays into another one of the movie's strengths - it knows it's a stupid action film, and isn't trying to be much more. There isn't much if any winking or mugging, but it doesn't try to take itself seriously. 

But I'm not sure if the other movies do, either. Avarice spends more time on the melodrama and family dynamics, and less on action, which is a big mistake. Cleaner gets to the action faster, but still tries to make a little too much of the brother/sister relationship. G20 gets it just right - but is still just OK. 

In conclusion, Clark Gregg is vice president in G20, because of course he is. Spoiler - he is not a villain.

She, She Told Me That She Loved Me

I had never seen the early adaptation of H. Rider Haggard's She (1935). I probably watched the 1965 version with Ursula Andress - partly for Andress, partly because I thought a classic adventure movie would be cool. It might have been King Solomon's Mines I watched, but whichever, it wasn't great. The 1935 was cool, though.

It starts with hero Randolph Scott meeting with his father and old family friend Nigel Bruce. His father explains to him about how an ancient ancestor of theirs went on an expedition to Siberia, found the secret to immortality, and somehow died there, with only his wife and child escaping with the notebook. So Scott, who looks exactly like his ancestor, heads out with Bruce.

In Siberia, they meet an expat Englishman Lumsden Hare and his daughter Helen Mack. They are living a very native life, with Hare constantly mistreating Mack. Hare tells Scott that they won't be able to find natives to guide them further north, because it's Forbidden. But Scott has a golden statue that inspires him, so they get their bearers - and Hare takes his daughter along - she's a good looker, by the way...

They travel through cold and dangerous passes, and find their way blocked by ice - that contains an ancient body. Hare tries to get the body out for the gold medallion he is wearing. This triggers an avalanche, killing him. This is good, because he was a jerk, but also because it reveals the hidden cave entrance to the north.

After a few adventures, they meet up with She Who Must Be Obeyed, Helen Gahagan (D rep. California). She was made immortal by standing in the cold fire - and her great love was Scott's ancestor, who she kiled in a fit of jealous rage. She offers to make Scott immortal, but he'll have to dump Mack. And if he doesn't, how will they escape? Part of the fun is that Scott is pretty much, love is fine, but immortality is forever. Until human sacrifice time.

This movie looks pretty good. I saw the colorized version, but it was done by Ray Harryhausen, based on the original planned color version. The hidden city has a nice deco style, with cool costumes - Gahagen's look inspired the evil queen in Snow White a few years later. The story got moved from Africa to Siberia because racism, but I think it's probably better they were doing African natives here. 

So I enjoyed this more than whatever it was I watched last time (if I even watched it), but I might be grading on a curve. 

In conclusion, every time I think of the title She, the Monkees song She starts playing in my head. great song, too.

Buried Treasure

I thought we'd watched I Bury the Living (1958), but Ms. Spenser didn't remember it. It turned out I hadn't seen it, and I'm glad we did.

It stars Richard Boone - Ol' Paladin. That should be enough right there. Boone is a department store owner who is also on the board of a cemetary. He's checking it out and retiring the the old Scots groundkeeper, Theodore Bikel, in the cold but cozy stone cabin that houses the office. There is a big map on the wall. When a site is sold, they stick a white pin in the map. When the ... customer? dies and is buried, the pin is changed to black. A happy young couple comes in, just married, and buys a plot, so Bikel lets Boone put the pin in. But instead of white, he accidentally puts in a black pin.

And soon finds out that couple will be needing that plot, as they got killed shortly after they left. The prophecy is fulfilled. 

This creeps Boone out, but he can't believe it, He sticks a black pin in the map at random, and wouldn't you know? Another death. Now Boone is really freaking out. He tells the police about this, along with other members of the cemetary board. They don't believe it, and propose a test to disprove it...

This felt to me sort of like a Twilight Zone episode. Not so much in the plot premise, although that works, but for Boone's rapid descent into madness and terror. He's great in this - a bit Vincent Pricean. He starts suave and friendly, gets more and more haunted, and ends up twitchy, sweating and unshaven. 

A great black and white suspense thriller.