The Shadow Do!

I re-watched The Shadow (1994) to see if it was as bad as I remembered. I didn't actually remember much; my feelings were mostly based on the Narrative. As the story goes, when Dick Tracy was a hit, studios assumed that audiences were clamoring for movies based on 1930s comics and radio shows. This movie and The Phantom proved them wrong. But were they that bad? I didn't think Dick Tracy was very good, so I figured I'd check.

It starts with Lamont Cranston (Alec Baldwin) as an opium-running warlord in 1920s Afghanistan - so evil that when James Hong takes Baldwin's bookkeeper hostage, he shoots through him and kills both. Then he is kidnapped and taken to meet the Tulku, a lama who has the power to cloud men's minds. He takes Baldwin as an apprentice, and ...

Seven years, later, New York City. Some hoods have got Sab Shimono in cement overshoes, ready to toss him in the river. Comes a disembodied laugh - it the Shadow! Shimono is rescued and made a part of Baldwin's secret organization, as explained bu Peter Boyle, a taxi driver who is another friend of the Shadow.

Who in real life is Lamont Cranston, wealthy socialite, meeting his father at a nightclub. Father is the police chief, played by Jonathan Winters (played straight, too). But when Penelope Ann Miller as Margo Lane, shows up, he has to get to know her. Later, we find out that her father, Ian McKellen, and absent-minded scientist, has gone incommunicado. Something to do with his shady assistant, Tim Curry?

No, it's John Lone as Shiwan Khan, a student of the Tulku who has gone bad. He plans to finish the work of his ancestor, Genghis, and rule the world. 

I think that puts all the pieces in play. I'd say the plot is good enough - It's a little weird to see Lone and his henchmen walking around NY in Mongol armor, but whatever. The casting is obviously fine - Miller in particular has a great period look. In fact, the whole movie has a great Art Deco feel, with old taxis, fancy night clubs, and a secret skyscraper lair. 

About my only issue is with Baldwin - he's just a little too creepy. Of course, this version of the Shadow knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men because he had an evil heart. But it comes on maybe a little too heavy.

Anyway, I find this movie to be overall good fun. Now I want to see if The Phantom is any good 

Tea-Based Horror

This is more like it: Enys Men (2022). I've been watching a fair number of old classics or modern blockbusters. Then I go to the library, pick a random movie with a mysterious description that seems to be horror-adjacent, and get this. 

It is set on an uninhabited island off the coast of Cornwall in the 70s. Mary Woodvine is an ordinary woman of 50 or so, volunteering to monitor a some rare flowers. Every day she goes to a patch of these flowers and measures the soil temperature. She also drops a stone down a small mine shaft. Then she goes back to a small house and records her findings: date, soil temp, and "No changes". 

This routine is shot almost abstractly. with her body framed oddly, intercut with the wild and dangerous sea on the rocks around the island. And there are flashes of a young woman, a preacher, a group of miners, a rescue boat crew, some dancing schoolgirls. We see the memorial for the crew, and wonder if these are ghosts.

One day, she notes lichen growing on one of the flowers and puts that in her log - not mentioning that it also seems to be growing on her belly, on a scar (C-section scar?).

Also, there is a standing stone pillar on the hill opposite her house, with a local legend that we didn't catch because it was related over the CB radio and was too distorted to understand. Probably satanic.

That's about it. She runs a generator for lights and cooking, and gets a delivery of petrol from a man she might have had an affair with (but they are pretty uncomfortable together). She tells someone om the CB that nothing is going on, except she's running out of tea. She takes a bath and reads the ecological paperback A Blueprint for Survival. She talks on the CB, or ignores it if she's busy.

So there's very little horror - except for the possible tea shortage. There are ghosts, some of them maybe hers. The young woman may have been Woodvine's daughter, and may have killed herself. She sees one of the miners living in her house, reading Blueprint on the toilet. But it's mostly a meditation on nature, isolation, the past, and so forth. It's beautiful and strange, although more disquieting than terrifying. 

By the way, there are no men belonging to Eny or Enys. Enys Men is Cornish for Stone Island, the island this takes place on. This was a COVID film, with director Mark Jenkin shooting on 16mm film with a small crew. Good choice for lockdown. 

As My Whimsey Takes Me

I might have mentioned that I am a big fan of Dorothy Sayers, and we've watched all of the TV adaptations of Lord Peter Wimsey we could find. The Silent Passenger (1935) is a bit different than these. Filmed at the same time the Wimsey stories were being published, it portrayed Wimsey as less a suave devil-may-care aristocrat, and more of an idiot.

It starts with a blackmailer, taking one of his victims, Lilian Oldland, to France. We see Lord Peter nosing around their hotel, muttering about blackmail - perhaps he is on the trail. He also notices a porter carrying a large empty trunk - with creases in his pants! This porter turns out to be another blackmail victim. His plan is to kill the blackmailer and stuff his body in the trunk, to be found later in France. Before he can get out of the room, John Loder, Oldland's husband confronts him, punches him out and informs him that he is taking his wife to France. But not before a witness spots him.

So, the trunk is loaded on the boat-train, along with the silent passenger. Loder is reconciled with his wandering wife. Wimsey is onboard as well, poking his nose into everyone's business. When Loder's collar comes undone, Wimsey offers to get him a stud. When Loder says his buttonhole is torn, Peter goes to get a spare buttonhole. 

At French customs, the body is found. Everyone knows it's the blackmailer, but Loder - he punched out a different man, and didn't kill anyone. But will the police believe him (No)? Can Lord Peter get to the bottom of this (What do you think?)?

Wimsey is played by Peter Haddon, a big name comic of the time. He has a skinny mustache, and a dopey line of patter. Bunter is played Aubrey Mather, and given very little to do. The build-up to the crime is a bit convoluted, with lots going on that I didn't pick up on. Then it gets rather slow for a while. The end seemed to me to come a bit at random, with the real murderer just being dumb.

Oh well, it seems that Sayers herself hated this version. But it's no worse than a lot of old movies we've enjoyed, and not as far from the canonical book characters as, for ex, the Lloyd Nolan Mike Shayne. We bought this disc from Movies Unlimited, and I feel like we got our money's worth. 

Return to Zenda

I chose the last two movies because I was sure Ms. Spenser wouldn't be interested. Here's one I (re-)watched even though I kknew she loved it: The Prisoner of Zenda (1937).

It stars Ronald Coleman as an Englishman trying to have a quiet fishing holiday in Ruritania. He doesn't realize that he looks exactly like the prince who is being crowned the next day. While he is fishing in the Royal Reserve, the prince (also Coleman) and his retainers, David Niven and C. Aubrey Smith run into him. Their remarkable resemblance is explained by an old family tale - that one of the princes ancestors was doing what the Englishman is: Fishing in forbidden waters. 

So they all retire to have a drunken last night before coronation party. We find that the prince is a bit of a wastrel, but he promises to sober up. After one last bottle. But the next morning, they find that that last bottle was drugged, and the prince can't be woken. It seems his half-brother, Raymond Massey, is plotting to have him miss his coronation, and seize the crown himself. But Niven and Smith get Coleman to impersonate the prince - which goes off without a hitch. Except that he meets the princess, his alter-ego's betrothed, Madelaine Carroll, and falls in love with her. She never much liked the prince, but he seems so different, now she's falling too.

All is well, then, except when they go to wake up the prince, he's gone. Kidnapped by Massey! Foppish villain Rupert of Hentzau (Douglas Fairbanks Jr.) has figured out the double trick and has given the prince over. 

This movie has everything. Light-hearted humor, glorious spectacle, delirious romance, and several cool fights. There is even a deep well called Jacob's Ladder, that leads down to Hell, not Heaven. The evil-doers keep the prince right next to it, in case of discovery. Guess who winds up falling in?

My only complaint is the ending. Of course, the bad guys lose and the prince is restored. Carroll finds out who was really romancing her and is tempted to follow him back to England, but follows the patriotic path and stays to rule Ruritania. But we never see her and the prince, or even Coleman and Coleman meeting up for a hearty handshake and best wishes. 

Other than that, I can't imagine a better classic adventure. The cast is remarkable - I especially loved Smith for his deep love of his king and then prince become king. Some real nobility. The disk I got out of the library had the 1952 Stewart Granger version on the flip side. I didn't bother to watch that. 

Killer Content

Here's another one Ms. Spenser wasn't interested in at all: the new David Fincher movie, The Killer (2023).

It stars Michael Fassbender as the titular Killer. He is staking out a Parisian apartment from a deserted and under construction WeWork office. We see him waiting, doing yoga, trying to sleep and scoping out the neighborhood through his telescopic sight. He narrates throughout, mostly about his rules for being a paid assassin. Key points: Stick to the plan, avoid improvisation. Fight only the battle you are paid to fight. He is meticulous and precise. And he misses the shot and kills a bystander.

He makes his getaway and heads for his hideout in the Dominican Republic. There, he finds that the place was just invaded and his girlfriend was worked over. So he sets out to put a stop to this.

And so he starts working his way up the ladder, killing everyone involved, starting with the innocent cab driver who brought the invaders to his place. Then the lawyer who set up the hit, his secretary, the big guy who was one of the invaders, and Tilda Swinton, who was the other. Finally, the original client, who we'll spoil in a little. 

This is all done with quite a bit of dry humor. Some of it is structural, like when his narrative monolog is interrupted by someone at the door. Some of it is ... political? How modern commerce, WeWork, DoorDash, Amazon lockers, Apple watches, etc are pervasive. Everyone is always looking at their phones, including Fassbender, who is using his to carry out murders. Which is another piece of modern commerce, just a service commodity. Some of it is just sort of of silly, like how he always listens to the Smiths when he's on a job. Or when his careful plan just falls through and he has to improvise - like he said not to do.

In the end, he gets to the client, billionaire Arliss Howard. He makes sure the guy has no problem with him, and lets him live. Maybe he doesn't want the heat from killing a billionaire. Maybe it's just business. It certainly breaks the usual revenge plot. 

I'm not a super Fincher fan. Never saw Fight Club, maybe never will, I can certainly see some fine cinematic craftsmanship here. The sound design is interesting - like how we only hear the Smiths on the soundtrack when we're sharing Fassbender's point of view. 

But in the end, I wasn't quite blown away. I think my main problem is that it was too good of an action film, with too much in common with all the others, to be a real critique of the genre. I think I actually prefer The Hitman's Bodyguard in that respect. 

I can't believe I said that. 

Super James Corden

Ms. Spenser had some work to catch up on, so I dug up some recent movies that she would have no desire to watch. For example. the recent Melissa McCarthy AI comedy, Superintelligence (2020).

It starts in a Seattle farmers' market, where we meet McCarthy. She is volunteering for an animal shelter, trying to get dogs adopted. She gets a call from sassy black (gay?) best friend, Brian Tyree Henry, who brings us up to speed: She hasn't had a date since she dropped her long-term boyfriend, creative writing professor Bobby Cannavale and quit her high-tech job to start volunteering with multiple charities. He convinces her to interview for a job at a start up run by a college buddy. It goes poorly (but pretty funny). But through the security camera, someone is watching.

That someone (or something!) calls her the next day. It's an artificial superintelligence that sounds just like James Corden (because she loves James Corden) that has just become aware. He (it?) wants to observe her, help her out, and depending on how she reacts, either help humanity, enslave it, or destroy it. 

Well there's the setup. She calls Henery, who works for Microsoft, because the AI isn't trying to keep itself a secret. Henry goes to the government, eventually getting the president, a Hilary-esque Jean Smart, involved - and the military. 

But mostly the AI is concerned with getting McCarthy back together with Cannavale. He plots for her to run into him at a supermarket, which turns out awkward. He got a job at a college in Ireland and is moving in three days. He doesn't think it's a good idea for them to hang out. But you know they will.

And here is the crux of the movie - this relationship. Cannavale is a very dorky man-child. Him and McCarthy do kid around a lot, but he is also a serious dork. He loves air travel, and is excited when the SI surreptitiously upgrades him to Business class. McCarthy takes him to a ballgame and Ken Griffey Jr. meets him, due to a generous donation the AI made in her name. And Cannavale sort of forgets McCarthy is there. He doesn't think too much about McCarthy dropping back into his life, and doesn't think much about leaving her for good to go to Ireland. I think we are supposed to understand that McCarthy hurt him when she left, but it's possible he barely noticed. He is so uninterested in her that you expect the movie to be about her finding someone nicer.

But it isn't. It's about the way that she loves him for what he is, and for what they had. She never tells him about the AI, although she told Henry and he told the government. The AI tries to help her "win him back" (in the movie, McCarthy calls this "making things right"), and she doesn't do it by showing off her newfound wealth and AI power - she tries to give him things he really likes, like dumplings at Pike Place Market. And when the world is about to end, she spends the evening packing his apartment up for his trip, and even sends him to the airport early, and promises to finish up the job herself. 

And I don't know how to feel about all this. It was at times sweet, at other times infuriating. Cannavale's character was no prize, but McCarthy wasn't so great either - awkward, self-sabotaging, unsure. Not to mention looking very average. Sorry, but when they do the makeover scene and put her into outrageous clothes, she never gets anything flattering or even interesting (except the jacket made of pants). So maybe they deserve each other. Maybe they love each other - or even, she loves him and he's ok with her. Don't know. 

Anyway, they say the AI picked her because she was so average. But she was actually an exec at Yahoo, and devoted her life to charity. Like Cannavale is a beloved professor of creative writing, and a clueless man-boy. So I feel like the Rom-Com part of this was the most interesting (?) but least successful.

Of course, the AI stuff is fun and maybe not that otiginal. Having James Corden play the AI as a practical joker who is still working on the line between funny and mean was a good source of comedy. I wouldn't have minded more of that, less of the romance. And I don't even know who James Corden is.

I actually like Melissa McCarthy a lot - but I almost never like her movies, at least not all the way. I should probably stop trying to watch them.

Helping the Bombadier

Catch-22 (1970) is another Movies Unlimited purchase. I saw it a while ago, and didn't remember it very well. But when I read the book back in grade school, I was obsessed. I read it every waking hour - walking to school, in class under the desk, while eating, etc. So when I saw it for a good price, I snapped it up.

I'll skip over the plot - the movie is mostly vignettes thast blend into each other, forward and backward in time. It's set in an Allied Air Force base in Italy during WWII. Yossarian (Alan Arkin) doesn't want to fly any more missions. Everyone thinks he's crazy, and of course, crazy people don't fly missions. But if you ask to be taken off active status, well, that means you're sane. Catch-22, the best there is.

Of course, everyone else in the whole stupid war is crazy. Milo Minderbinder (Jon Voight) is trading the morphine from first aid kits for Egyptian cotton. Capt. Major (Bob Newhart) is promoted to Maj. Major because it sounds better. He won't see anyone in his office unless he isn't in the office. And so on.

This craziness is all from the book, somewhat compressed. What director Mike Nichols does with it is make strikingly stark compositions. For example, the "Help the bombadier" flashbacks show a close up of Arkin's profile at the right side of the screen, with just clear blue sky for the background. Or the shots of military men in the foreground, with Arkin, naked, in a scrubby tree in the background. Or a sequence of shots of darkened city streets where a different mundane horror is highlighted around every corner. It is an extremely stylish movie - not just an absurdist comedy with a message.

It also has an amazing cast - I haven't mentioned Jack Gilford, Richard Benjamin, Bob Balaban, Art Garfunkel, Martin Balsam, writer Buck Henry, or Paula Prentiss. Hell, Orson Wells even shows up for a couple of scenes. Not all of them are prominent or have full character arcs, but they are all there.

In conclusion, I just now figured out that Capt. Orr (BOb Balaban) was named that because he rowed to safety.