Mental

Since we are pretty big fans of Alex Garland, we were pretty excited about his new horror film Men (2022).

It starts with Jessie Buckley witnessing the suicide of her husband (Paapa Essiedu), plummeting past her window to his death. She is now heading to an English country house for some quiet healing time alone. The owner, Rory Kinnear, seems nice enough, although he is about awkward enquiring about Buckley's marital status. She tells a friend on the phone that he's a very particular type of Southern man. Still, the place is beautiful, in a peaceful wooded setting, and she is set to enjoy it.

She walks through the woods, enjoying the natural environment, and comes on an old railway tunnel. As she harmonizes with the echoes, she sees a figure at the far end - a figure that screams and charges at her. She runs away, gets lost, and comes out by some deserted outbuildings. As she takes a cellphone photo, she notices a naked man staring at her. She rushed home.

She is telling her friend about this when we see the naked man (played by Kinnear), covered in cuts walking around the yard. When she finally notices, she calls the police. They take him away, assuring her that he's probably just a harmless homeless man. (One of the police looks a lot like the landlord - played by Kinnear). 

She stops into the church, which is decorated with the Green Man (man with leaves for a face) and Sheela na gig (a naked woman spreading her vulva with both hands). She screams out her sorrow and frustration, remembering her husband's death. Outside, she meets a creepy child in a Marilyn mask, and the priest (both looking like Kinnear). The priest counsels her, but begins to blame her for her husband's suicide. She angrily leaves and heads for the pub. She meets Kinnear (her landlord) there, as well as the policeman (Kinnear), who tells her they let the naked man go - no real charge to keep him. 

Back at the house, she calls her friend to say she's going back to London, but her friend says she'll drive down and join her. Then all hell breaks loose.

The naked man is back - he's locked out but he's grabbing through the mailslot. She stab him through the wrist, pinning him in place, but he slowly pulls his hand back, letting the knife split his hand. We note here that her husband landed with his hand impaled on a fence spike when he killed himself. Then it gets weirder.

The ending scenes are so surreal that you can't really explain them - mystic occurrence, mental breakdown, self-assertion, homicidal mania? You choose, or don't, just accept it as horror.

I guess you can take this as a warning. The first part has an almost simple combination of sorrow, guilt, and the healing beauty of nature, along with a creeping dread of, particularly, men. Then it becomes something different and more mad. Some people don't seem to like the second part. I don't see how he could have gone in any other way. 

Take Care TCB

I mainly wanted to watch Respect (2021) to hear Jennifer Hudson do Aretha Franklin.

It starts with Aretha as a little girl. Her father, Forest Whitaker, is throwing a party, and he wakes her up to come down and sing for the people. Although he's a minister, this is a hot party, with dancing, drinking, some gay hand-holding, Dinah Washington (Mary J. Blige), etc. And the song she sings isn't a gospel tune, but a hoochy number. 

We also see her at her mother, estranged from her dad. With her mom, she does sing gospel - and also gets the warning that she doesn't have to do whatever her father tells her, even if she loves to sing. But her mom soon dies in a car crash, and Aretha goes silent. She is also molested by someone from one of her dad's parties, and refuses to name the man. But she does start singing again in church.

Then we have grown up Aretha, meeting a dangerous man - Marlon Wayans as a manager. To keep her away from him, Whitaker introduces her to producer John Hammond (Tate Donovan). Hammond had discovered everyone from Billy Holliday to Bruce Springsteen, but he was a little square for Aretha. He produced her singing orchestrated jazz standards, and was getting good material, but no hits.

She's now marries to Wayans, and he does at least one good thing - gets her signed with Jerry Wexler (Marc Maron). Wexler took her down to Muscle Shoals, where she and Wayans are surprised to find that the session men are mostly white. We had seen all this in the Muscle Shoals documentary. They even made the motel Aretha was staying at look authentic.

There's a similar thong with Aretha's gospel comeback album, which was made into a documentary. The film looked a lot like that, and Hudson's Amazing Grace was quite amazing. They left out the Rolling Stones standing in the back, though.

The story has its ups and down - a lot of Aretha's life was good, but she did not live a trouble-free life. Hudson plays her a little close to the vest, as if her childhood silence infected the rest of her life. But there are two things about Aretha that the movie gets right: Her insistence on respect and living her life her own way, and her transcendently beautiful singing. Hudson seems to be capable of handling that as well.

Family Ties

I think the reason I never saw Family Plot (1976) is that I had it mixed up with The Trouble with Harry. I've figured it out now.

FP starts with two separate threads. In one, we meet Barbara Harris as a medium, doing a reading for a rich old lady. Said lady is tortured by the ghost of her sister, who had a child out of wedlock. The old lady had forced her to give the kid up at birth and knows nothing about him - not even a name. She wants Harris to find the kid and bring him into the family to let her sister find peace. Harris sets her boyfriend, taxi-driver Bruce Dern to find the kid. I was very surprised that they never considered trying to pass him off as the heir.

in parallel with this, a tall mysterious blonde is negotiating with the law for the return of a kidnapped bishop in exchange for a huge diamond. The exchange goes off smoothly, and she is picked up by her boyfriend, William Devane - who looks like Robert Goulet playing Gomez Adamms. She strips off the blonde wig and high shoes, and she is Karen Black.

To cut to the chase (there isn't really a chase scene, by the way), Dern slowly uncovers that Devane is the heir. Devane thinks he is being traced because of his criminal activities, not realizing that he could inherit millions. Instead, he tries to kill Dern and Harris. 

This is more of a comedy than Hitchcock usually goes for, with Dern exasperated by Harris' schemes and super-criminals Devane and Black brought down more or less by mistake. It kind of rambles, with the whole missing heir theme mostly forgotten by the last act. But it keeps moving and is always fun. 

This was Hitchcock's last movie, but far from the last one we haven't seen. Plenty more fun to be had.

Heat and Serve

First, sorry for the long delay - I was on vacation, and was surprised that I didn't feel like spending the day blogging. Anyway, there was only one movie in my writing queue: The Heat (2013), the Sandra Bullock/Melissa McCarthy buddy cop movie.

We meet FBI agent Bullock in a bust going wrong. A dozen agents search the place and find nothing. Bullock showily finds both the big bag of pot and all the hidden guns, making the agents and particularly the drug dog hang their heads. 

Instead of getting her a promotion, her boss tells her that everyone hates working with her because she's a show-off and know-it-all. He wants her to go to Boston to find a notorious dealer who no one has ever seen and who kills everyone who gets close in horrible ways.

Meanwhile, McCarthy is a Boston plainclothes cop staking out a street corner. When a john stops to pick up a girl, she busts him and calls his wife, just to mess with him. On the way downtown, she notices a kid (pimp?), gives him a hard time, notices his joint and off they go. Now right here, I have to say that the image of a white police woman chasing a black teen with a car is more appalling than funny - so not a good start.

Any way, the kid gets put into jail and Bullock shows up and starts interrogating him. When McCarthy comes in and wants to know why someone is questioning her guy, you just know that Bullock and McCarthy will be forced to team up, will fight, and will finally learn to trust and respect each other. Because it's that kind of movie.

Basically, it's every mismatched buddy cop movie, except with women. Bullock plays her old role from Miss Congeniality - the stuck-up, by the books agent who has to learn to be more human. McCarthy plays her standard role of a rough-hewn slob. She is shocked when she sees that the windows in Bullock's apartment have those, what do you call 'em, window blankets. At least the joke isn't that she's a nice lady who says "fuck" a lot.

But honestly, this isn't a bad movie. There are some funny jokes - McCarthy's Boston family wants to know if Bullock is a "nawk", and she can't figure out they mean "narc".  The two characters are well drawn (if sort of off-the-shelf) and the actresses know how to handle them. Not a great movie, but I didn't mind watching it. 

Romancing the City

The Lost City (2022) looked like a lot of fun - just like Romancing the Stone was. 

We meet romance author Sandra Bullock moping around her apartment, mourning her dead archeologist husband, trying to finish her latest. Her editor, Da'Vine Joy Randolph keeps bugging her, reminding her that they need the book because there's a big tour planned. So she just sort of types: "They kissed. The End."

Later, at a Romance Con, Bullock is forced into a purple sequined jumpsuit and thrust on stage for an interview with her cover model, Channing Tatum. Tatum is completely gung-ho about the series "he" (the character who he plays on the book covers) co-stars in and the genius of Bullock. She, on the other hand, is dismissive of him, her works, the whole scene. She finally gets offstage, goes outside and is kidnapped and brought to the island of the McGuffin.

Her abductor turns out to be billionaire Daniel Radcliffe, who wants her help finding a historic McGuffin on the lost city in her book. She claims it's fictional, but he knows she borrowed the story from her dead husband's research. 

Meanwhile, Tatum and Randolph suspect foul play. Tatum met a guy at a meditation retreat who handles this kind of situation. He's a physical trainer named Trainer, and he's played by Brad Pitt. They follow her cell phone signal to the island. Pitt is a shrewd tough ex-SEAL, and Tatum is tagging along because he thinks he is, too - although he knows deep down he only plays one on romance novel covers.

So we have Bullock. still in her sequined jumpsuit, tied to a chair. She gets rescued, but they don't have time to untie her, so they load her in a wheelbarrow. And the chase is on.

This is a silly movie and, to me, a lot of fun. Of course, the best parts are the cast: America's sweetheart Sandra Bullock, Tatum, America's favorite male stripper (or is that McConaughey? Haven't seen it), Brad Pitt in a small role, and Da'Vine Joy Randolph in full kick-ass mode. Special props to Radcliffe, (Switzerland's favorite corpse?) as villain, a role he excels in. The writing is fine, and in some places, hilarious. I have no problem with it ripping off Romancing the Stone - I want more movies like that. Romance, action, comedy - what's not to like?

Modern Times

So, the wife was out for a Fri evening, so it's a Guy's Movie Night! Something she'd never watch in a million years: a 2-hour-plus midcentury semi-musical: Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967).

Julie Andrews is Millie. We are introduced to her as a sensible turn-of-the-century woman, with a full dress, long curls and a sensible hat. In a montage on the streets of New York, we see her get her hair bobbed, get a short skirt, a cloche hat, and finally, a long string of flapper beads. Next we meet Mary Tyler Moore as Miss Dorothy, a sheltered, spoiled, and oblivious orphan girl from California. Their rooms are across from each other in a women-only hotel. The proprietress is a moral old woman played by Beatrice Lillie. We know a secret about her - she and her Chinese laundrymen are kidnapping her guests and selling them into "white slavery". She has her eyes on Moore.

Andrews has a plan in life - she is going to be a Modern Girl, have loose morals, make out in the rumble seat of roadster, and marry her rich boss. She just has to find a job with a single boss. In the meantime, she meets James Fox, a devil-may-care paperclip salesman, at a dance. He charms her by creating a new dance craze, the Tapioca.

I'm afraid this big dance number is atrocious - I suppose it is intended to be. The movie isn't quite a musical, but it does have several musical and dance numbers. My favorites, however, are the ones that just sort of slip in, with Andrews and Moore just breaking out in a few simple steps. The elevator in the hotel won't work unless you bang on the walls and stomp on the floor, so they always do a little dance number to get it to go. These aren't big production numbers, just some accomplished hoofers doing their thing.

Andrews does get a single boss, impossibly handsome John Gavin. But she is being chased by Fox, who has a boss who lends him cars and even an airplane. He takes Andrews and Moore to a party at a palatial estate in Connecticut. It's owned by Carol Channing. It's a swell party, but Andrews sees him sneaking Moore into his room and is disillusioned.

But she can't seem to get Gavin to tumble for her. He is strictly business - nicknames her "John" because she's one of the boys. Worse, he falls for Moore. Will Millie find love with a rich man? Will Miss Dorothy be abducted by the Chinese? And what of Carol Channing?

She's my favorite part - a real 1920's cartoon character, with a couple of great numbers including the suggestive Jazz Baby. The next best number is a Jewish wedding party (Trinkt Le Chaim), with a surprising klezmer twist. No idea how it got in this movie. 

This is a long movie, and really isn't great. But there's at least a bit of bouncy fun in some of the dances. And at least Ms. Spenser didn't have to sit through it.

White Light

I'd heard of White Noise (2005) as the movie that set off the EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) fad. It stars Michael Keaton, so why not give it a try.

Keaton is a wealthy architect with a best-selling author for a second wife and a young boy by his first. Which do you think will die? Well, it's the wife, Chandra West. He's pretty broken up abut it, but when a strange man comes to his house to say he thinks he has been contacted by the wife, he is not receptive.

But he changes his mind when he thinks he hears West on a tape the guy gives him. He's soon deep into the whole EVP thing. He meets Deborah Kara Unger through this obsession. Then the first EVP guy turns up dead, and demonic presences make themselves known.

Soon, Keaton gets messages from people not yet dead. In particular, one is a kidnapped young woman. The last part of the movie is rave against time to find her from clues in the EVP before she's done in by the demon-possessed madman who has taken her. 

SPOILER - He is killed in the final fight, but the police arrive in time to rescue the girl. After the funeral, Unger and his son here his voice in the static on the radio. The son, who isn't really a character, smiles.

This is a fairly ramshackle movie. People show up and die, or just move on. The son barely seems to notice that his mother is dead - I'm not even sure she is his step-mother. The rules of EVP seem pretty flexible. They can come from the dead, the near dead, or even the threatened, I guess. Also, sometimes from demons? 

Ms. Spenser was not impressed particularly. It isn't even very scary.

Trolling, Trolling, Trolling

The recommendation for Trollhunter (2010) came from a friend. They thought it was hilarious, but warned us that it is also stupid. Enough said.

It is basically found footage. Three Norwegian college students are making a documentary about bearhunters. They are all complaining about a mysterious hunter - they assume he's a poacher. They start pursuing this hunter, trying to get an interview in the most passive-aggressive way possible. They follow him up into the backcountry. Finally, they follow him into the woods at night until he comes running back yelling, "Troll!". As they scramble to escape, one of the students is bitten. You see, trolls are real.

The hunter isn't a poacher, he's a trollhunter. The government pays him to keep the trolls back in the country, away from civilization. He decides to let the kids in on the secret because he's tired and he doesn't get paid enough.

First off, he douses them in troll stench, a disgusting mixture that will hide the scent of humanity from the trolls. Then they start hunting. They find little trolls and, using ultraviolet flashbulbs to simulate sunlight, turn them into stone. Then they find bigger and bigger trolls. 

There is a lot of driving around in the beautiful, wet, green Norwegian country. It might not advance the plot much, but is very pleasant. The trolls, on the other hand, are very silly looking, with big noses hanging down - like a cartoon caveman. When you see these guys, you know you're in a comedy, even if there are a few scares. 

However, I have to say, it isn't that funny. Mildly amusing, slightly scary, silly. Fun to watch but not that memorable. This might be a classic of the troll genre, but it's not a very big genre.