Three Hot Librarians and Other Topics

As I've said, we're watching more streaming - and Ms. Spenser let me choose this time. So we watched Gunpowder Milkshake (2021).

It stars Karen Gilllan (Dr. Who's Amy Pond) as a young assassin. It starts with her waiting in a diner for her mother, drinking a milkshake. Her mother, Lena Headey, late as always, comes in, pursued by gangsters. They don't get her or Gillan, but Headley has to go away for a while. She leaves Gillan with her handler/booker, Paul Giamatti, and the "aunts at the Library".

So now Gillan is a young woman, killing people on her own. This job gets a little out of hand, and it turns out she has killed the son of a big mobster. But before she figures this out, she gets the job of retrieving some money an accountant has stolen from the mob. In the struggle over the money, she shoots the guy, and he reveals that he needed it to ransom his kidanpped daughter. So Gillan pledges to get the kid back.

To do this, she'll need guns, so she goes to the Library. It turns out that the Library is a front for an armory, with the guns hidden in certain books. The aunts are librarians: Carla Gugino, the motherly one, Angela Bassett, the strict one, and Michelle Yeoh, the awesome one (she doesn't really fit any librarian archetype, but she's Michelle Yeoh, so who cares). 

As things get more and more out of hand, Gillan eventually needs to bring her estranged mother into the mix.

So this takes place in a John-Wick-like world, with assassins who have diners, librarians and hospitals that cater to them. Except in this world, it's largely women kicking ass. This results in some cute stuff, like the way Gillan, and later the little girl she assuredly rescues, are always drinking vanilla milkshakes - except they never actually seemed to drink them. Some on! Life's too short in this world to diet. 

It was mostly a little better than forgettable, while not being close to as good as, say, John Wick. I'm a little torn by touches like the library. The filmmakers (ex: Israeli director Navot Papushado) knew that most of the audience, male and female, would love libraries and librarians - at least I do. But it was a little too cute, maybe, like something Noah Wylie would be in. 

Ms. Spenser spent her time handling emails andother screen-oriented chores while the movie was on, but actually watched a lot of it in between. So I guess it wasn't that bad. 

The Takes Must Flow

I was really anticipating Denis Villeneuve's Dune (2021), and loved watching it. But: Is is better than Lynch's Dune?

I guess I won't spend any time on the plot. It goes up to the Harkonnen re-conquest of Arrakeen and Paul and Jessica meeting the Fremen. The rest of the book will be coming in Dune 2, in a few years. Splitting it up seems like a good idea - Lynch's movie suffered trying to fit the last half into 2o minutes or so.

I should say a few things about the casting:

• Timothee Chalamet as  Paul is good as the callow youth but I'm not sure how he will do as a more confident, oracular leadder.
• Oscar Isaac was good as Duke Leto, I thought. Ms. Spenser did not agree.
• Jason Momoa as Duncan Idaho was a bit too Jason Momoa for me. At least we got to see him as a rough and muscular type.
• Dave Bautista, on the other hand, seemed to fit Beast Raban perfectly. 
• Stellan Skarsgaard played a somewhat toned down Baron Harkonnen. Maybe could have been a little more evil.  
• Charlotte Rampling as Mother Gaius Helen Mohim was wonderful, but perhaps a little wasted, with only one great scene.
• Sharon Duncan-Brewster as a black, female Dr. Liet-Kynes was great. I wish there was more of her.
• And of course, Zendaya is Chani - a popular choice I'm sure. She's beautiful enough for the great love of Paul's life. Also, with her spice-blue-eyes, she looks like that famous photo of the Afghan girl from National Geographic. 

All the rest were fine, I thought. Rebecca Ferguson as Lady Jessica was quite lovely. Javier Bardem didn't make much of an impression as Stilgar, though. Maybe in the sequel.

So back to the main question. We re-watched Lynch's Dune to check our impression that it strongly Villeneuve's version. The overall structure seemed pretty close - of course, that could be due to the common source. But some scenes seemed to be shot very similarly - like the rescue at the spice harvester. Also, there were some similarities in the art direction that didn't go back to the novel. Like the Atreides uniforms with the buttons and braid. Although Villeneuve's outfits may have been a touch less fascist than Lynch's, are definitely in the same style. That style doesn't come from the novel either (according to Ms. Spenser, who is re-reading).

Our shocking conclusion: We liked the Lynch version better. His voice-over internal monolog was a good idea, although controversial. The story seemed to be easier to follow. His special effects weren't as good as Villeneuve's, of course, but I think we liked his sandworms better. Villeneuve's casting was good, but so was Lynch's. Villeneuve's Chani was better than Lynch's, but it's pretty hard to beat Lynch's Shadout Mapes or Alia of the Knife. 

Of course, after watching a few more times, I may feel different. Villeneuve does have a way of capturing humans in monumental settings. But even here I have to say, his handling of action isn't as good as you might hope, both on the tactical and strategic level. 

Still, looking forward to part 2, and many more rewatches.

Lucky 13

We had a different movie planned for this night, but the disc was cracked. Always check as soon as they arrive! So we dug around in our Netflix streaming list and found Thir13en Ghosts (2001), a modern remake of the William Castle schlock-fest.

It starts in a junkyard, with F. Murray Abraham hunting a ghost. He has a gang of goons and twitchy psychic Matthew Lillard to help. Things get out of hand and the ghost gets trapped, but F. gets killed.

We now meet Tony Shaloub, his wife, and two kids, moving into a new house, which immediately burns down, killing said wife. In the next scene, he's living in a tiny apartment with a sassy black young nanny (Rah Digga) taking care of the kids. The daughter is a normal young teen, the son a grade-schooler with a bit of an obsession with death. 

Then a miracle occurs: a lawyer shows up to let them know Shaloub's uncle F. Murray has dies and willed them an expensive house. So they head over to check it out. The house is a modernist geometric building covered in windows ("Hope the bathroom is in the basement"). There's also a guy from the electric company trying to get in - but it's actually Matthew Lillard in a jumpsuit. 

So the lawyer gets them in, gets the papers signed, then tells them about the twelve ghosts in containment in the basement. He doesn't mention the fortune in cash somewhere as well - he's going after that himself. So is Lillard. 

So of course, the ghosts get out and start menacing everyone. They have a few pairs of glasses that let them see the ghosts - and I kept thinking that if they just took them off, they wouldn't be so scared. But the ghosts can kill even if you can't see them. Castle's gimmick in the original is that he handed out glasses to the audience that made the ghosts invisible. You could put them on when you got too scared. I could see the attraction.

So aside from having an interesting cast, this movie had at least two things going for it. 

1. Cool modern/deco glass architecture.
2. Goofy enough to qualify as horror comedy, so I could take it, with enough thrills for Ms. Spenser. 

Just to spoil it for you - the lawyer's kill is probably the best in the movie. A glass wall descends on his head and bisects him front from back. Later, someone wonders where he went, and someone else says, "He probably split".

Just Like Buddy Holly

Six-String Samurai (1998) is one of those videos where you always see the box, think it looks cool, then put it back without watching. We finally watched it. 

It is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland of the ex-United States. The Soviets invaded in 1957, leaving only Lost (sic) Vegas free. King Elvis reigned there for 40 years, and when he died, the position of king was open to anyone who could rock, and fight for the throne.

One pretender is Buddy, played by Jeffery Falcon with a baggy suit and Buddy Holly glasses, carrying a guitar and a samurai sword. The opening scenes show a group of bandits attacking a woman and child in a field of reeds. The woman is killed, but Buddy jumps in to save the kid. This is very chambara/manga inspired. Of course, the kid wants to follow Buddy, and he wants to leave him behind. 

They stop into a ruined roadhouse where the Red Elvises are playing. If you don't know them, they are a Soviet-inspired rockabilly band, with a bass balalaika. Sort of like Laika and the Cosmonauts, and all those other Russian rockabilly bands (it was really a thing). They are attacked by a bowling-themed gang, but they are no match for Buddy's sword skills.

But the real threat comes from Death, who plans to become king himself. He wears a leather top hat like Slash or possibly Papa Legba, and is killing all the other pretenders. 

This is definitely a fun movie with lots of references to rock culture and samurai movies - a fun combo. Falcon turns out to be a legit martial artist, but it looked to me like they were using editing to make an ordinary guy look awesome - which would be true to the Shaw Brothers tradition. The music was mostly strong, but I would have liked more. The Elvises did a lot of it and maybe should have done more. The final guitar battle between Buddy and Death was a real let-down. They traded riffs for like 2-3 choruses, then started in with swords. 

So, we enjoyed this but can see why it never took off. Even as a cult film, it didn't have a very big cult. In some ways, I can see why I kept skipping this. In others, I was glad I saved it.

Rolling on the River

I actually wanted Jungle Cruise (2021) to be our first disc of 2022. I was a little worried when Rod Heath gave it low marks in his year-end round up. In the comments, he notes that Hollywood used to make a good film like this every other week - an adventure romp with a silly script, charming actors, some cool stunts and set pieces, all forgotten by the time the next one comes out. Well, we felt that Jungle Cruise met this standard just fine. 

It starts with Emily Blunt and her brother Jack Whitehall trying to convince the members of the London Adventurers Club to loan them a mysterious arrowhead McGuffin. They are refused, largely because Blunt wears trousers. While Whitehall stalls, Blunt sneaks in to steal it. Evil German prince Jesse Plemons shows up looking for the same McGuffin, and a fight breaks out, with Blunt on the library bookshelf ladder, sliding across the room. Here we note the first of many movie homages - to the Rachel Weisz Mummy, with Blunt as the spunky female explorer with an effete brother. 

We next head to the Amazon, where Dwayne Johnson is taking tourists on a jungle cruise in his beat-up boat. He shows up somehow managing to look a little like Bogart from African Queen. It's hard to imagine a less likely Bogie, but they pull it off. Anyway here we get the classic Disney ride, with fake hippos, a fake waterfall, bogus natives, and Johnson spouting all the classic bad puns and dad jokes. 

Johnson's boat is continually falling apart, and he's in danger of having Paul Giamatti repossess it. So when Blunt and Whitehall come along looking for a boat up the river, Johnson fights a jaguar to show how capable he is. Of course, we later find out that the cat is his pet, but isn't that just as badass? And so we head up the Amazon, with Plemons following in his German river U-Boat.

The rest of the movie is a combination of utterly predictable and off-the-wall. Just to throw in a spoiler, Blunt is searching for a magic flower which heals all illness and lifts all curses. It turns out that Johnson is under a curse - he was a conquistador along with Aguirre's (the Wrath of God) crew. Cursed to be immortal and to never leave the river. That's kind of fun, because he gets killed a few times, but of course can't die.

Now, I understand what Rod was complaining about. This is very overstuffed with fights, stunts, and CGI "locations". Each time a movie like this comes along, it has to be bigger, crazier, and more 'splodey than the last. But we like loud 'splodey movies, particularly when featuring beloved actors like Johnson and Blunt. 

Plus I love that Johnson can't stop the bad jokes - even when facing death. When they are headed into headhunter territory, he says, meaningfully, it's a bad place to "be headed". 

Year-End Clearance!

Happy 2022, everyone. Time for my much awaited year-end round-up posts. As usual, I have given this very little thought - so let's just see what happens.

First of all: Cocktails. I've been perusing Reddit lately, and found r/cocktails. A lot of people were doing a cocktail advent calendar, where they got a new cocktail every day to make. When the Mexican Firing Squad came up (tequila, lime juice, grenadine, bitters) came up, I noticed that my brother-in-law had all the ingredients in his cabinet, so I made a few. I thought they were all right, my sister thought mine were too sour. I might play with later.

For New Year's Eve/Day, I had champagne (California) cocktails. Sour cherry juice, Maraschino, sparkling. Also, a tropical French 75: a little passion fruit puree, a pineapple chunk. gin, lime juice, triple sec, shake and top with sparkling. I liked the way gin went with the passion fruit.

For movies, we watch some Three Stooges (Curly Classics), followed by Marx Bros. - At the Circus and Night at the Opera. We slept through most of them, then went to bed at 12:01. For New Year's Day, The Thin Man.

I'm not sure what to say for movie trends in 2021. We watched ~17 movies from this year - more than most. A lot were mindless action movies, and not as much fun as that should be. We did like Nobody for action, and Barb and Star Go to Vista del Mar for comedy. I'll give them the Best of 2021 award.

I suppose COVID can take some of the blame, with a lot of hot movies postponed to next year (or the end of this year, so the DVD comes out next year). 

In general, we've cut our DVD subscription from three to two discs a week, with the plan to watch more streaming. Two issues with this:

• Discovery is a pain. Recommendations for the apps we have (Netflix, Amazon Prime) are trash. They don't want to help you find something you'll like, just something good enough to waste your time. They don't encourage curated lists. You're supposed to just watch whatever the latest one or two things they are pushing.
• It's hard to link to the movies, so I often don't feel like blogging them. See previous post. 

I'm sure we've seen some great movies on streaming, but in general, I haven't been very impressed. The selection isn't great and has been shrinking - or just moving around between platforms. The movies that the platform is green lighting tend to be the worst combination of director/producer self-indulgence mixed with playing to the lowest common denominator. They don't seem to be very original or very well focused. 

We have been getting back to some "classics" (old movies, black-and-white). We even saw The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Maybe that's where we should be looking on streaming. 

I don't have many other big finds for the year. We saw some decent horror, although my picks for Spook-tober were pretty weak. I guess Paradise Hills was a fave, also Wolf of Snow Hollow. 

For TV, we did Cowboy Bebop, both the live action and the (start of) the anime. We liked the live action a lot - maybe because we like John Cho - but there was too much backstory drama. But my sister has turned us on to The Great British Bake Off, and we'll be grooving on that for a while. 

For next year, I plan to subscribe to Disney-Plus (mainly for the Marvel TV shows). Not sure how long that will last.

And as always, the best movie of the year is still Bringing Up Baby, and we still haven't re-watched it this year. Maybe next year!