Running with Blades

The word on the street is that Blade Runner 2049 (2017) is even better than the original. For certain values of "better", we agree.

It starts with a blade runner visiting a greenhouse out in the sticks to retire a replicant, big hulking Dave Bautista. This blade runner (Ryan Gosling) is a replicant, too - the new, compliant kind. Buatista makes fun of him, mentioning a mysterious "miracle". After he has put Bautista down, Gosling looks around and finds a dead tree with a single flower in front of it. Later, he comes back to discover a buried body beneath the tree, a woman who died in childbirth. Further investigation shows that the woman is a replicant.

Now, our villain is Jared Leto, the head of an evil corporation that took over the assets of Tyrell Corp. Leto is very interested in creating a self-reproducing replicant - the old way is too slow to populate the "offworld colonies" with slaves. Leto lives in a concrete castle with a replicant enforcer named Luv (Sylvia Hoeks) and likes to birth replicants and kill them as soon as they wake up, just for kicks. So, a bad guy.

Gosling also has an artificial companion, a hologram played by Ana de Armas. She is the perfect woman, but tied to the home projection system until he got her a portable unit. It's an interesting sidetrack - a replicant with a hologram girlfriend - but doesn't really go anyplace.

In searching for this replicant-born-of-a-replicant, Gosling starts to learn about himself, about early memories, which he knows are implanted. Unless he is the born replicant: a trip to the memory artist Carla Juri doesn't clear this up. A visit to Gaff (Edward James Olmos) in the old folks home doesn't either.

Finally, we meet up with Deckard (Harrison Ford) who has been hiding out since the end of the last movie. This reminded me a lot of the discovery of Jeff Bridges hiding out in Tron: Legacy. He's pining after Sean Young, in this movie as CGI only.

Although the look of the film is very "Blade Runner turned up to 11", it is also a very different look: This future isn't rainy and crowded, it's dry and barren - has population crashed in the ~30 years since the first movie? Or does our director just have his attention on the quieter parts? Or is he just trying to save on extras?

The music, by Hans Zimmer. is also a more intense version of the original Vangelis. It seems that director Denis Villenueuve (Arrival) was going to use his usual composer, Johann Johannson, but Zimmer got the retro synth feel just right.

So, gorgeous, thoughtful, maybe even deep, with all the feelings (and numbenings) turned up to 11. A worthy sequel.

Take Off

In our continuing series of Shakespearean films, we re-watched Strange Brew (1983). Yes, this Doug and Bob McKenzie vehicle is actually based on Hamlet. Well, kind of. Well, one of the movies within this movie is.

First, remember Doug and Bob McKenzie, the hosts of The Great White North, two Canadian hosers played by Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis on SCTV. The movie starts with them watching themselves in a movie, and eventually running out, chased by the customers who were ripped off by their terrible movie. The gist of this movie (not the one they made) is that they plan to put a live (?) mouse in an empty beer bottle and demand free beer.

This leads to the second movie, the Hamlet one. The owner, John Elsinore, had died, and his wife has married his brother Claude. The boys meet up with his daughter Pam (-let?), played by Lynne Griffith.

In a third, related movie, Brewmeister Max von Sydow (!!) is planning to use the Elsinore Brewery to dispense a mind control drug to the inmates at the Canadian Institute for the Mentally Insane. This part isn't in the original Hamlet.

Considering that Bob and Doug came from Moranis and Thomas trying to make some two-minute filler spots to fulfill "Canadian content" requirements, they come off as solid, worked through characters. When they get out of the Great White North set, they find a world of casual insanity, which suits them fine. Maybe it's because we've been watching a lot of SCTV lately, but we thought this movie held up.

However, we are neutral to Geddy Lee's "Take Off (to the Great White North)" theme.

Rock Quake

We watched San Andreas (2015) for one reason: The Rock. Also, so we wouldn’t have to watch him in Baywatch.

San Andreas starts with a girl texting while driving along a narrow canyon road - but that’s fine. Nothing bad happens to her until an earthquake sends her car plummeting over the edge, then getting stuck on a twig, dangling over a precipice. Call out the rescue helicopter!

The chopper is manned by Dwayne Johnson among others, and of course he overcomes great odds to extract the girl and save her. But I wish he had roped her in right away, rather than fussing about for 15 minutes first. I suspect his technique is terrible. Also, in a recurring theme, there is a problem with the copter that is going to be fatal in 30 seconds, but when they rescue the girl, it goes away. Theme: Problem, then worse problem, worse problem solved, first problem forgotten.

Any way, the Rock goes home to his humble abode and calls his daughter - this expositions the setup: Johnson and his wife (Carla Gugino) are divorced, and she and their teenaged daughter (Alexandra Daddario) are living with a wealthy builder, Ioaon Gruffud (Fantastic Four). Johnson isn’t happy about this, but he’s a mensch. That’s because he’s the Rock.

In the background, a team of scientists lead by Paul Giamatti and Will Yun Lee think they can predict earthquakes and head out to Hoover Dam to do some tests. Guess what? They do detect an earthquake, right before it destroys the dam and kill Lee. But they do wind up predicting that the entire fault from LA to SF is going to blow and soon.

Which is too bad, because daughter has gone to SF with Gruffud. There she meets Australian job seeker Hugo Johnstone-Burt (Miss Fisher’s Hugh) and his cute younger brother Art Parkinson. Good thing, too, because when the quakes start, she gets trapped, and Gruffud doesn’t stick around to save her. But Johnstone-Burt gets her out with clear thinking and gumption.

Now, everything is coming apart. Johnson and ex-wife are coming to save them in choppers, planes, trains, and pickups. How they get these conveyances is another issue with the movie: our heroes are always commandeering useful gear for themselves, and rarely spare a moment to think of the greater good. Sure, you need a truck to get to San Francisco. Maybe whoever owns that truck needs it to rescue a gradeschool class or something. Daughter knows where to get the rescue pack from a fire engine, but it isn’t an abandoned fire engine - the fire fighters are right there. Did you consider they might need the walkie-talkie?

Never mind, there an earthquake and a tsunami. Johnson and Gugino hi-jack a boat to get out of the Bay and into open water, but it doesn't look like they'll make it. And just when it looks like they will be wiped out by the tsunami, suddenly a freighter is bearing down on them! And when they narrowly avoid the freighter, it turns out that the tsunami wasn't that bad... Any way.

Obviously, the cool thing about this movie isn't the plot logic or scientific accuracy - it's the falling down buildings and tidal waves and the Rock being awesome. And it's got that all over. I truly love the current Dwayne Johnson persona - the strong man who is totally righteous. Friendly, kind, helpful, and encouraging. Plus, he's just huge. So, I'll admit it - I watched Baywatch on the airplane and kind of liked it.

We liked this a lot too. But we do live in San Francisco, and some parts of this were a little real. After the big one, we'll be going "Too soon, San Andreas."